DD wants to get her legs waxed

amother

Thu, Dec 19 2013, 2:42 pm

DD is 12 and told me that she wants to get her legs waxed. I told her she is being silly and that there is no need for that.

I'm not sure what else to say to her besides that? I don't know why she mentioned this all of a sudden.

I know this sounds silly but I really don't know how to handle it, I don't have anyone to ask. She even mentioned it to dh but he didn't want to talk about it so just said talk with mummy about it.

momX4

Thu, Dec 19 2013, 2:45 pm

It isnt age appropriate. She has to wait to put on makeup and perfume, same with waxing. Tell her when she is XX years old you will take her.

Does she have dark hair? Maybe its time for her to shave her legs.

smss

Thu, Dec 19 2013, 2:47 pm

why is it not age appropriate? a lot of 12yo's wear nude stockings and if she has hair she probably doesn't want it to show through. if you prefer that she shaves or epilates or whatever, ok, but why can't she do anything?

I don't think it was right of you to tell her she is silly for wanting to do this.

harriet

Thu, Dec 19 2013, 2:48 pm

why isn't it age appropriate? Why is shaving more age appropriate than waxing? My 12 year old DD just asked me about shaving so she's getting started now but has she asked me a year ago, I would've been fine with it and if she asks me about waxing I'd be fine with that as well. If she doesn't mention it, I'll probably just stick with shaving for now but if she wanted to wax before camp-why not? Why is waxing (of the legs specifically) not age appropriate?

amother

Thu, Dec 19 2013, 2:51 pm

news flash-most 12/13 year olds shave or wax (at least in the yeshivish/JPF community that I live in and that sends it's DDs to the overnight summer camp that I work in).

Unless you live in a chassidish or other community that doesn't, I would definitely allow if she brought it up!

amother

Thu, Dec 19 2013, 2:54 pm

harriet wrote:

I know some mothers take their girls for leg waxing before camp because that way they don't have to bother with shaving for a while at sleep away camp.
I don't think she is too young if she is asking for it. But it does get to be expensive so I would not do it very often just once in a while for a special occasion or reason.
She may not even like it when she gets it done, it can hurt!

amother

Thu, Dec 19 2013, 2:54 pm

OP here, I don't know, I just feel like taking her to get her legs waxed is weird you know? She is 12 years old, she 's so young. I don't mind her shaving (she hasn't done that yet), but I just don't want her to get like fixated on her body in that way.

Yes, she is dark, not in her complexion which is white, but she has dark brown beautiful hair.

amother

Thu, Dec 19 2013, 3:01 pm

I don't think it is a big deal.

My question is: do you think it is ok for a girl to shave her legs in general? If yes, then why can she not wax them? That means she will have to do it less.

It's just about feeling comfortable with herself and not self conscious or anything. It's nothing sinister at all don't worry. Most girls want to shave their legs. In the summer, they want to wear summer dresses and not feel self conscious about their legs. No one wants to have hair showing on their legs.

Every single woman (well 99 percent) removes their leg hair because they don't like it showing. Why would a girl be different? At age 12 she's starting the age where she is going to be thinking about her body more. So it is a natural thing for a girl, you better be prepared for more discussion about these things with her this is just the start.

abbyatoms

Thu, Dec 19 2013, 3:03 pm

sure why not? 12 is a usual age to start shaving as far as I'm concerned. Assuming she wears tights in the winter, its an "only in the summer, only below the knee" kind of thing. Its not like she's getting a bikini wax. Waxing is a great alternative to shaving if you can afford it.

smss

Thu, Dec 19 2013, 3:04 pm

amother wrote:

in today's world it's normal to shave leg hair. it's not being fixated on your body, it's the norm. like wearing bras and using deodorant.

did you ask her if she davka wants to wax or if she would be ok with shaving?

Dolly Welsh

Thu, Dec 19 2013, 3:49 pm

It's not good to get dependent on someone else doing something for you that you can reasonably do for yourself.

It might not be too early.

Buy a bag of lightweight orange-handled razors, tell her to use upward strokes in the shower, with soap, and the armpits too. Tell her to try to be careful, but not to panic if she cuts herself. Tell her waxing hurts and is expensive and we don't bother with that. We like to be able to solve problems ourselves. It's faster and easier and we like the sense of control.

That's how I would handle it.

There are people who wax facial hair at home too.

If you are going outside the home, I would be heading for the electrolysis people so it never came back. On the face.

That little shower shave chore is lifelong and no big deal at all. Two seconds.

yo'ma

Thu, Dec 19 2013, 5:00 pm

My dd is 15 now and she started complaining about the hair on her legs when she was about 13. I explained to her different things she can do and The pros and cons, but I encouraged the waxing. I shave and I wish I was told about waxing when I was her age. I know I can do it now, but I'm used to shaving. I do mention to her with different things not to get hung up on looks, but hair on the legs is not one of them.

amother

Thu, Dec 19 2013, 8:15 pm

My daughter is 14 and I encouraged her to wax vs shave. I feel that I would have appreciated my mother suggesting that to me when I was that age. The earlier you start the better. I go with her and am in the room with her as she likes me to hold her hand. The legs are sensitive. She finds it more painful in the winter time cuz maybe the legs are drier however I asked her if she wanted to Shave Instread and she said no. It's growing back slow so she's happy. I was actually considering laser. Has anyone's daughter done that? My younger sister who is 20 has done only a few sessions and she has no hair left and she said it was pretty much pain free. Although the cost is a few hundred dollars it works out much more economic than monthly waxing appts. Any thoughts?

amother

Thu, Dec 19 2013, 8:18 pm

she says that she will stick with the shaving for now (I actually didn't know she was shaving already), but that by the time summer comes she wants to start waxing. I told her it's fine.

amother

Thu, Dec 19 2013, 8:21 pm

amother wrote:

Can you not do the waxing at home? I wax my legs from home and it is really easy and very good and effective. You can buy the waxing strips anywhere. It hardly hurts at all anymore and even when you first do it it's not that painful you just have to remove it extremely quickly.

Dolly Welsh

Thu, Dec 19 2013, 8:21 pm

I have never done it, but that laser thing sounds good. If it is really permanent, it is certainly worth a few hundred dollars.

Apart from money, think of the time saved. We only get so much time. What a great thing to not spend it on.

But read the fine print to see if anything needs to be considered. You might check with the pediatrician. He or she might have heard of any downsides.

harriet

Thu, Dec 19 2013, 8:33 pm

amother wrote:

she says that she will stick with the shaving for now (I actually didn't know she was shaving already), but that by the time summer comes she wants to start waxing. I told her it's fine.

I don't think it's the end of the world and means you are doomed to have a bad relationship with your DD, but I think the fact that a) you had no idea she was shaving already and b) you had a bad reaction to her bringing up the topic of waxing with you (telling her it's silly!) should be a wakeup call that you need to rethink your reaction to things she tells (or doesn't tell!) you. . . it's a different world these days than when we were growing up and you want her to continue coming to you with any concerns/questions/etc she has. . .

Good luck!

anuta

Thu, Dec 19 2013, 8:35 pm

I'd do it. If she has hair on her legs and it bothers her, why not? This is the age of puberty if she asked probably she has enough there for some sort of hair removal method. My daughter is almost 10 and kind of hairy from birth, once she starts asking I will give her what she wants ( a razor, wax kit or whatever..)
I would try an at home kit though after the first time.