need to leave my baby overnight

amother

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 6:55 pm

I agree its a long time. please try not to guilt me any more than im already feeling! I'm not asking for advice only recommendations. people have all sorts of reasons you know...

if you live in BP and know of a warm heimish babysitter, please let me know

SplitPea

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 6:59 pm

amother wrote:

My advice would be asking people you know in person.
Don't trust your babies life on the words of some random scream names online.

momX4

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 7:12 pm

can you maybe do a sitter plus a friend? When DH went away years ago we sent our DC to a friend. She dropped off out DC at a babysitter every day. It worked out nicely. I also offered to pay for a carservice if the weather was bad.

try asking someone you know. I always happily watch my sibblings kids and they are shocked when I say yes.

overthehill

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 7:44 pm

nothing personal, but it would take one heck of an emergency before I would leave a 13 month old anywhere. And if I did, it would be with my DH, parents, siblings or a caring or a loving relative.

a 13 month old is a baby, and the fact that you have "all source of reasons" doesn't make it right.

This is about taking a totally helpless human being and abandoning him by a total stranger for a week.

What would you feel like if someone shipped you off to Bangladesh for a week where you knew no one, and everyone around you was a complete stranger.....even if they were nice?

Please think about what you are doing...I know you don't want to hear this, but frankly, asking a group of strangers such an important questions is both shocking and appalling to me,

mummiedearest

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 7:58 pm

overthehill, she's already made her decision. lecturing her is clearly unwanted, and probably useless. there actually ARE legitimate reasons why a woman would leave her toddler with someone else for a week. so imagine the worst case scenario you can, pray that she doesn't have reason as desperate at that, and wish her luck.

op, I don't have any recommendations, but I wish you luck with whatever you are dealing with.

amother

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 8:00 pm

overthehill: Chatterbox

I specifically did not ask for advice....I love this forum... where all the self-righteous ppl have an opportunity to blow themselves up and feel good in all their self righteous glory.

mommy2x did you ask me to pm just to find out who I am?

overthehill

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 8:19 pm

mummiedearest wrote:

Call me naïve or clueless, but I cant fathom in my mind any such situation. Sorry!

amother

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 8:22 pm

overthehill wrote:

She didn't say she WANTS to go on vacation. She said she NEEDED to go away.

OP hatzlocha. Your title did say over night I almost fell of my chair when I read a week!! Very unusual but it's understandable that it can happen and it must be hard not to have family or friends to watch him. I do know of someone but dont know anything about her.

Leahh

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 8:27 pm

overthehill wrote:

mummiedearest wrote:

Call me naïve or clueless, but I cant fathom in my mind any such situation. Sorry!

Its not your business what the situation is. She didn't ask if she should. She said she needs to. Maybe shes chv sick and needs a medical procedure with no family around to help out.
Maybe a family simcha overseas and couldnt get baby's passport in time.
She needs to do what she needs to do for whatever reason. Respect her decision and answer her question or don't reply.

mummiedearest

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 8:29 pm

overthehill wrote:

mummiedearest wrote:

Call me naïve or clueless, but I cant fathom in my mind any such situation. Sorry!

really? supposing a woman had an emotionally abusive set of parents and siblings. then suppose she needed to go away for serious medical treatment for a week. she doesn't want her family to know that she is ill, she knows they'll just make her sicker. she can't leave her child with her family or her dh's because his parents will tell her parents. she can't trust anyone who knows her in the community to watch, because her parents know the same people. her dh needs to come with her in order to be her advocate while she's under medical care, and he can't take care of the toddler while he's doing that. voila. perfectly legitimate reason to leave toddler for a week. b'h you haven't had any similar experiences. you would have understood then.

as I said, imagine worst case scenario, then hope that's not the case. I hope the op is in good health and can find a trustworthy babysitter without too much hassle.

amother

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 8:30 pm

There are legitimate reasons for someone to leave a baby. I had to leave my 13 month old baby for a week because I needed surgery. I was recuperating by my mom and had to stop nursing cold turkey, so I couldn't have him there. My mil was busy with my fil who had heart surgery then.

I ended up leaving him at the person who usually babysits him when I'm at work. He did know her, but it was still difficult to do.

No one has a right to judge the OP without knowing the circumstances. Stop being so self righteous. I'm sure she knows this is not the ideal thing to do (I hope!)

Children are very resilient. Although the baby will probably have a hard time that week, I doubt there will be any lasting damage.

mummiedearest

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 8:36 pm

overthehill wrote:

Even though you didn't ask for advice, I have the god given right of free speech to share my opinion.

Sorry you don't like it. Very Happy

actually, you don't. G-d didn't give us the right to free speech. He gave us free will, but also the commandment not to cause each other anguish through speech. and that does cover judgy lectures that were clearly inappropriate to the situation.