need to leave my baby overnight

amother

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 8:42 pm

overthehill wrote:

mummiedearest wrote:

overthehill, she's already made her decision. lecturing her is clearly unwanted, and probably useless. there actually ARE legitimate reasons why a woman would leave her toddler with someone else for a week. so imagine the worst case scenario you can, pray that she doesn't have reason as desperate at that, and wish her luck.

op, I don't have any recommendations, but I wish you luck with whatever you are dealing with.

Call me naïve or clueless, but I cant fathom in my mind any such situation. Sorry!

SplitPea

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 8:43 pm

OP there have been many times when I am trying to figure something out and only one solution seems feasible. Often when I talk to others about it other solutions come up. There is a good chance if you tell us a little of your needs we might be able to help you with a better solution.

1. Hiring and taking a babysitter with you?
2. Babysitter during the day, family/friend at night.
3. Who knows because we have no clue Smile

It's your right not to say anything but I am sure with so many ladies here we could really help you find a better solution if you are looking for one.

oliveoil

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 8:45 pm

amother wrote:

Children are very resilient. Although the baby will probably have a hard time that week, I doubt there will be any lasting damage.

Sorry, that is NOT necessarily true.

Abandoning a child CAN cause permanent damage in the way the child bonds with and relates to others.

Read up about RAD and Dr. Lederer.

For the child, being left like this is akin to being orphaned. S/he has no concept of time, no understanding of you coming back.

There is almost always a better solution.

overthehill

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 8:45 pm

I honestly BH, BH, could not fathom a legitimate reason to leave such a small baby....I guess I wasn't thinking out of the box.

OP, I wish you Hatzlacha in finding the right person to care for your baby and I hope everything works out well for you.

I BH have never ever done such a thing, so that was my gut reaction.
I apologize for aggravating you.

amother

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 8:58 pm

oliveoil wrote:

amother wrote:

Children are very resilient. Although the baby will probably have a hard time that week, I doubt there will be any lasting damage.

It's a week! It's not ideal but like you said, the child has no concept of time, once she's back the child will forget she was gone. She needs to go away. Leaving her child with a responsible, caring babysitter will do no permanent damage and trying to guilt trip her is really low.

Cookies n Cream

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 9:11 pm

I have a friend that needed to leave her baby for a week. (She has no family. )
She used someone Mrs. Neiman in BP. I dont know anything about her though.
Maybe if someone here has had experience with her they can pipe in...

PAMOM

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 9:13 pm

OP, I wasn't judging you--nor would I. Only you know what you need. I was just trying to help brainstorm other possibilities. Is there a rabbi ( not necessarily your own) who could point you in the direction of possible sitters? Could you pay a rebbtzin to keep the baby? Could you afford a baby nurse or do you need the baby to be out of the house ?

zaq

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 9:14 pm

overthehill wrote:

mummiedearest wrote:

there actually ARE legitimate reasons why a woman would leave her toddler with someone else for a week. .

Call me naïve or clueless, but I cant fathom in my mind any such situation. Sorry!

That's because you lack imagination.

Scenario #1: OP and her dh have no relatives in this country, and, because they haven't lived here very long, they have no close friends here, either. She needs a kidney and her dh is donating it to her (or vice versa). She doesn't want anyone in town to know about this. As they will both be hospitalized, there is no one to care for their dc.

Scenario #2: OP and Dh have both applied for jobs with the same agency in another state. Part of the application process is a week-long battery of qualifying tests. They obviously cannot bring their baby along. They don't want to tell anyone about the trip because they don't want to incur an ayin hara.

Scenario #3: Op and Dh are both former operatives of Israeli intelligence who have been summoned to a top-secret meeting concerning their past activities and findings. This trip is not without risk, and they therefore must leave their child behind.

PAMOM

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 9:14 pm

amother

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 9:19 pm

amother wrote:

overthehill wrote:

mummiedearest wrote:

Call me naïve or clueless, but I cant fathom in my mind any such situation. Sorry!

I once went away out of state for surgery. In my situation I obviously told my family and they actually flew or drove out there to visit me. In some cases 12 hour drive. In any case what if in this situation the OP didn't want to tell anyone they were doing this? It's actually no ones business if they chose not to tell. We didn't tell all of my husbands family just mine. Here now you have one such reason. Obviously a hospital is no place for a 13 month old!

The OP specifically asked do not make me feel worse! If you really have an opinion on the subject open another thread with a psa.

amother

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 9:30 pm

Maybe she just needs a break. If your tank runs dry the car wont go. A week at a sitter may give the DC rejuvenated parents that have patience and love.

My DH had scheduled surgery. I needed a friends help to get the kids off to school. I had to tell her why. Her DH took care of their kids and she came to my house really early. My DH was upset that I told her why, the friends DH teased my DH terribly about the procedure. The thing is that when I asked classmates parents if my kids can sleep over one night, they said it was a school night. We told our in-laws after the surgery and my MIL was upset that we even told her. She prefers to be in the dark regarding everything.

mazeltov

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 9:32 pm

amother wrote:

anybody in boro park know of a loving warm babysitter with reasonable rates where I can leave my 13 month old baby for a week? need to go away...

Dear OP, please PM me. Thanks.

mazeltov

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 9:53 pm

amother wrote:

mazeltov im the op do you have specific info regarding a babysitter?

I am not a babysitter but if you can't find anyone else, perhaps I can help and take care of your child for a week. I would need to know more about your child's personality and needs, what your child likes to eat and drink, and I think we should meet with the child first. I am not a babysitter but I am a mother of one child.

mazeltov

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 9:54 pm

mazeltov wrote:

amother wrote:

mazeltov im the op do you have specific info regarding a babysitter?

also, my husband and I both work, so we would need to send the child to a babysitter when we are working.

Barbara

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 9:59 pm

overthehill wrote:

mummiedearest wrote:

Call me naïve or clueless, but I cant fathom in my mind any such situation. Sorry!

None of my business, but I would guess that she requires a medical procedure that will keep her away from home for a week, and doesn't really want to advertise that to her neighbors.

OP, people are going to be reluctant to list phone numbers online. Why not set up an email address just for this purpose, and have people email you there.

Dandelion1

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 11:20 pm

I have a very close friend who does babysitting during the day, occasionally has been asked to do it overnite. Frum mom of four, sweet, calm, loving, responsible. Not in Boro Park, but in another neighborhood in Brooklyn, not terribly far. If you are interested you can pm me, and I will give you her email address and you can contact her.

bnm

Sat, Dec 28 2013, 11:33 pm

there is a Mrs. Kornitzer, lives in the high 50's and 13ish, I'm sure you can find her in the phone book. I always bump into her on the street with whoever she is babysitting at the moment, she takes overnight/long term.

amother

Sun, Dec 29 2013, 12:29 am

Someone mentioned Mrs Neiman. I used her for 1 night and had a horrible horrible experience. When I came to pick up my 6 month old baby he was STARVED (she handed me his bottle and apologized for not having time to feed him). He was wearing the same thing I had dropped him off 16 hours earlier with (pj's not used). There were several screaming babies I was able to hear through the door (she did not let me inside). I'm sorry Mrs. Neiman I am exposing this but I feel I have the right to tell my experience so others can protect their children.
OP- there are plenty of warm loving babysitters which do nights, keep asking. (There's a Mrs Hoffman I used a while back for day time, I think she did nights too, 45th bet 14&13) There are also money starved people that take in more that they can handle. Which was probably the case here.