Working longer hours- will I have energy to parent properly

amother

Wed, Jan 15 2014, 11:19 am

I currently work a few hours a day and make just enough money to get by each month to cover our very basic expenses. The benefit of my current situation is that it is low pressure job, and I have plenty of time and energy to care of my children without stress because I am home when they are home and I have time to do housework when they are at school.

I am thinking about taking on more hours of work.

My concern is that with the added hours I won't have the energy to give my children the attention that they need when they come home because I'll be busy doing all the things I normally do when I'm not working (cooking cleaning etc)

Should I just stay with what I'm doing and just get by but give my children the attention and love they're used to. or should I take on more hours, make more money, and be able to afford the extras that we currently are unable to afford.

I'm not looking for debates. I'm looking for people that had this same dilemma and what they did.

Last edited by amother on Sat, Feb 28 2015, 10:10 pm; edited 1 time in total

myself

Wed, Jan 15 2014, 11:26 am

It very much depends on the time your kids come home and your general schedule. You'll need to be very organised. I've done it so feel free to ask any questions or PM me.

vicki

Wed, Jan 15 2014, 11:30 am

You have to know yourself and know your kids' personalities and individual needs.
I place not being over-stressed financially pretty high up in my priority list. Of course not as high as the children's overall well being.
I am a MUCH better mother when I am not stressed out over shopping bills, when I don't have to "waste" precious time comparison shopping all the time and worrying about rent, clothes, utilities and the like.
Many moms even work full time (40 hours or more - and it seems you are not considering that.) and are able to raise well adjusted children and keep the home running mostly smoothly.

If you take on the extra hours, will you still be home when the kids are? Will you be needing to hire any extra help, either for child care or housekeeping or that will stay the same?

OOTforlife

Wed, Jan 15 2014, 11:30 am

Is it a binary decision where you can only choose between keeping current hours or committing to current hours plus X? Or can you try adding in small increments and then dialing up or down based on how it feels?

If you to take on more hours and then want to go back to your current situation a month or two later, will it be held against you?

amother

Wed, Jan 15 2014, 9:47 pm

Thank you so much everyone for your responses.
I guess I have this fear that taking on more hours will make me unable to be a good parent, because I am not by nature a high energy person. And being a good mother is a high value for me. But making money is also a high value for me.

Last edited by amother on Sat, Feb 28 2015, 10:10 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Wed, Jan 15 2014, 9:55 pm

It's hard to not have enough each month so you can be there for your kids.
It's hard not being as available for your kids so you can bring more home.
I believe it's about deciding on your priorities at various points in your life and doing the one you feel you must.
It can be done. I am not saying it's easy. But many of us do it because we do not have any other choice. We work hard at our jobs and then work hard at home. And somehow we manage.

seeker

Wed, Jan 15 2014, 10:00 pm

In the same bind. No solution here yet, just wanted to share the company. So far I'm looking for ways to add income without too much extra stress, such as looking for internet-based jobs that I could do after the kids are asleep (Please G-d they should just learn to sleep through the night already...)

summer0808

Wed, Jan 15 2014, 10:09 pm

From my experience, I think that being home and having the energy for the kids is more important. I see it on myself, when I was out of the house more than my kids, I suffered, the house suffered and the kids suffered. Now that I work at home so I can do housework, it's such a difference. I wonder if my younger ones will be better socially adjusted than my older ones (who definitely have some issues).

Also are you making ends meet? Is this for necessities or wants? I'm not even talking about luxuries. I think being home is more important than wants.

Just my two cents.

syrima

Thu, Jan 16 2014, 11:09 am

You can parent properly and work if you give up on the cleaning and cooking part.
get a really good cleaning lady and do takeout or frozen. if you try to do it all you will be stressed.
And BTW, where is DH and grandparents here? Can they help?