To give or not to give on Shabbos/vacation days

amother

Mon, Jan 20 2014, 5:07 pm

I have a DS on focalin for ADD. I am not sure if I should withhold the medication on Shabbos or any vacation days. My Dr. made it seem like it is not addictive and that I might as well give it to him so that he is calm on Shabbos.
My DH disagrees and feels that DS shouldn't be so dependent on the Focalin. He feels that if DS is home and we are the ones dealing with him, and not his teachers, why should we give it to him.

What is your experience?

Optione

Mon, Jan 20 2014, 5:46 pm

Based on experiences with students on Focalin who are not on it on non-school days, unless you are keeping your child isolated on those days, please give it to him. There is only so much you and DH can control. It may ruin opportunities when at other people's houses, in shul, or play dates at your house. If he needs it when he goes to school, please give it to him when he is home. Why shouldn't you enjoy the content version of your son too?

Mama Bear

Mon, Jan 20 2014, 6:39 pm

I dont know about Focalin, but I was on Adderall and the withdrawal was brutal when I had to go off it when I was pregannt. I was even allowed to take it on Yom Kippur. I dont know if it wont affect your kid if you withhold it from him.

busymother

Mon, Jan 20 2014, 6:44 pm

My daughter is on aderall now and I only give it to her on "off" days if we are having company (e.g. in-laws) or need her to be more relaxed. Otherwise I actually like her climbing the walls:) I think it's a matter of preference. Good luck!!

amother

Mon, Jan 20 2014, 6:57 pm

Yes, give it to dc. It is more frustrating for the child to be off it and not in complete control of himself than for you to have to deal with it.

If your child is on it because he really needs it, and not just to make some teacher's life easier, then why would you withhold it on off days?

From experience, I can tell you that being off medication that you take every day is disorienting and will affect the self-esteem of the child.

If a child has a rash, will you withhold cream? I hope not.

If a child uses medication to help control his behavior, why would you withhold it? It makes no sense.

amother

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 12:15 am

I have two children (a girl and a boy) with ADHD who are on Concerta. I do not give it to them on Shabbos or vacation days (this is supported by the neurologist). The reasons are that they have a much better appetite when they didn't take it, at least they eat well then. I want them to have the chance to learn good behaviors without the medication. I have no reason to medicate unnecessarily.

All this depends on how your children react and what is expected from them on Shabbos. For example, my ds can sit in shul without it, but if he couldn't maybe I would give him. They sometimes go wild, especially when they are together, but I feel that is my problem which I need to cope with.

You can try once and see what happens.

Frumdoc

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 4:06 am

Does your dc prefer to be able to be calmer? From what I understand from adult or older children, they value the mental clam the drug gives them, medication is about helping them manage themselves rather than just making life easier for others.

But I can see the value of off days if there are significant side effects such as appetite suppression that reverse on days off. Why not discuss it with your doctor and if possible, with the child tsking it. Do they have an opinion?

amother

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 4:50 am

For the older child we didn't give on days off, vacation & it was so misguided.
Those were the days when he was with us & needed positive interaction & relationship building.
For a younger child we didn't repeat the mistake.

amother

Tue, Jan 21 2014, 9:04 am

OP here. Thanks for the advice. Appetite isn't much of an issue, it is more that he is borderline in his diagnosis. He is not jumping off the walls all the time, but is distractible and impulsive. The focalin has really improved his schoolwork, but he just presents himself as a "real boy" to others, when he is not in the school setting. Meaning-you wouldn't look at him on a Shabbos afternoon and say that he for sure has ADD, but as an energetic 8 year old boy. There are some weeks that I wish I had given him the meds in the morning, because he can be pretty disruptive and rowdy. I think I will take your advice and let him make the decision.