Leaving baby alone in car in Israel

tamid

Tue, Jan 28 2014, 2:55 am

I understand that it is very dangerous to leave a baby alone in a car in hot weather, I understood the danger of this even before the awful incidents of last summer.

But what is wrong with leaving a baby alone in the car for 2 MINUTES, on a cold rainy day? I just read a facebook post about a mother who needed to take her 2 year old in to maon. It was pouring with rain and had a 2 month old baby asleep in the car. What could happen to the 2 month old in the 2 minutes it takes her to run the toddler in to maon?

She was told by every commenter that she has to take the sleeping baby out if the car, in the rain, to bring the toddler up some steps to maon. I may be wrong, but I just don't understand the problem with leaving a sleeping baby alone in a car (I'm assuming safely parked). I'd be more worried about myself or my toddler falling over on the slippery steps.

Does this also mean you wouldn't leave a 2 month old asleep in their crib while you take a shower? What's the difference? I mentioned that it's Israel, as I don't think there's the same concern as in chu'l that someone might try to snatch the baby from the car. I think that's too far-fetched.

Please explain this to me (nicely Smile

), I really just don't understand and feel people have got things out of proportion.

grace413

Tue, Jan 28 2014, 3:12 am

During the two minutes the following can happen:

1. Somebody can steal the car. No it is not far-fetched.
2. Somebody can hit the car and injure the baby - not at all far-fetched from the way I see people parking at the maon near me.
3. The 2 minutes stretches out.

There is a big difference between leaving a baby in a crib inside a house (doors and windows locked) while you take a quick shower and leaving a baby in car outside.

There are enough things that we can't control. It's not worth taking chances.

tamid

Tue, Jan 28 2014, 3:17 am

True to a point, but I'm confident that this is about as likely in my neighborhood as rain falling in August. I live in a place where everyone looks out for each other, where you'd notice a stranger, where you have a good sense of whose kid is whose. I understand this may not be the case for every place in Israel, but if this is the only worry then you've answered my question. As a mother I'm constantly weighing one risk against another. I honestly would be infinitely more worried about slipping over in the rain (very possible danger) than about someone breaking into my car to snatch my baby (so unlikely it's not a concern of mine).

What other concerns are there?

ETA: I was responding here to rachel91

Last edited by tamid on Tue, Jan 28 2014, 3:31 am; edited 1 time in total

5*Mom

Tue, Jan 28 2014, 3:39 am

tamid wrote:

You may accidentally lock your baby in the car.

I really really hate this idea but if you are going to do it anyway, make sure you TAKE YOUR KEYS WITH YOU AND NEVER LEAVE THE CAR RUNNING.

tamid

Tue, Jan 28 2014, 3:49 am

FranticFrummie the person who posted this specifically said it was a question of 2 minutes. A baby can choke on spit up anywhere at any time, do you NEVER leave your baby alone? What about in the middle of the night? What about when you go to the bathroom or take a shower?

grace413 I hear your points, but again it's about weighing the risks. I don't remember ever hearing about anyone stealing a car where I live (in fact I'm pretty certain it's never happened) and if you're worried about someone hitting the car - well, does that mean you won't drive anywhere with your baby? Or sit in a parked car with your baby while you nurse him/make a phone call/wait for maon to end?

I'm very risk averse, that's why I was surprised by all the responses. But I really think it's more likely I or my toddler would slip over rushing in the rain than any of the concerns raised so far. I know a lot of people who have fallen over and hurt themselves and I know of nobody who has suffered any of the other scenarios presented here.

I'm not criticizing anyone, I'm really just trying to understand if I'm missing something, as I think this is too much of a knee-jerk reaction to the devastating tragedies that occurred in the heat of the summer.

newmomma

Tue, Jan 28 2014, 4:50 am

If I was walking by and saw a baby in a car alone, I would call the police. I would have no idea how long the baby was alone for. I was walking by a gan and saw a stroller with a 1-2 year old unattended the child was crying for mommy(in Israel). the mom had 'ran' into the gan to get her other kid from gan. I stayed by that kid until the mom came out. the mom looked embarrassed that her kid was crying. and said thank you for watching my kid. It just doesn't make sense to me to leave a young child alone outside. car or no car. a person is there to keep their children safe why take a risk of leaving them alone.

Its deff easier to leave your younger kid to get another 'quickly' but its not really responsible.

as for showering and leaving a baby in a crib...that's not the same as leaving the kid outside at all. even if the baby is crying.

grace413

Tue, Jan 28 2014, 5:21 am

tamid wrote:

grace413 I hear your points, but again it's about weighing the risks. I don't remember ever hearing about anyone stealing a car where I live (in fact I'm pretty certain it's never happened) and if you're worried about someone hitting the car - well, does that mean you won't drive anywhere with your baby? Or sit in a parked car with your baby while you nurse him/make a phone call/wait for maon to end?

I'm very risk averse, that's why I was surprised by all the responses. But I really think it's more likely I or my toddler would slip over rushing in the rain than any of the concerns raised so far. I know a lot of people who have fallen over and hurt themselves and I know of nobody who has suffered any of the other scenarios presented here.

Yes, everything is a cost-benefit analysis and people have different comfort zones for risks. I think being in the car with your baby is different - if somebody hits the car they will be less likely to run off if there is an adult in the car, and you will be able to call for help immediately. I will tell you that I was sure my 8 month old baby was securely strapped into her car seat and while I was whizzing along the highway I turned my head to check on her and somehow she had escaped from the car seat. Things happen.

The fact that something has not happened before does not mean that it will not happen in the future. Yes, I'm a worrywart, especially where small children are concerned.

I think the idea of the ganennet coming out to the car to take the todder is excellent when possible.

grace413

Tue, Jan 28 2014, 5:37 am

saw50st8 wrote:

Is the car visible?

I do not unload my 3 kids to pick up my baby. I call ahead, the baby is ready, park in the driveway, go to the door and they bring the baby down.

I don't know about OP's scenarios but in most places in Israel you would not be able to see your car. I see people leaving cars double parked, a real danger on our narrow streets.

Sanguine

Tue, Jan 28 2014, 7:07 am

Looks like I'm the only one who agrees with tamid - We live in a Yishuv. We don't know everyone but enough that people would notice if someone who doesn't belong was there. I would also leave my baby in the wagon or carriage at the end of the row while I shopped around in our local supermarket. I'd leave my baby in the carriage at the end while I swam in our pool. I'd leave her sleeping in her crib and run next door to borrow something...

Don't call Social Services - My "baby" is turning 13 years old so you're too late to report me.

In a Yishuv (even a large one) we watch out for each other. We notice strangers. If there's a car accident or other mishap we don't walk on and leave the problem for someone else. People come to drop something off or pick up an older child and leave the baby in the car for a minute or 2.

tamid - the worst thing that can happen is that you return to the car and find your baby screaming (then you'll feel bad, but that's it)

FranticFrummie

Tue, Jan 28 2014, 7:22 am

The problem with "just two minutes" is this: stuff happens.

You run into the store and you know exactly what you want. They rearranged all of the aisles for an upcoming holiday, and now you can't find your item. You finally find it, and run to the checkout. One of the cashiers is out sick, so the line is long. As you're making your way to checkout, the cashier is shmoozing and yakking with every single person who goes through her line. You now know every piece of juicy gossip in town, but it's been 10 minutes already. Now it's your turn. Oh no, the scanner is not picking up the bar code. Cashier has to call the manager for a price check, but the manager is out back having a smoke....

15 minutes later, you run back to your car. Your baby woke up and is screaming, and people on the sidewalk are looking at you like you're the worst mother in the history of motherhood. And that's just if nothing tragic and horrible happens!

When DD was little, I kept a baby monitor around her at all times. If I needed a shower and there was no one to watch her, I'd put the high chair in the bathroom with me, and set her in there with some toys. I could look out of the curtain at her and play peek a boo.

Honestly, I don't think I had a good night's sleep until she turned a year old, when I was sure that she could roll over, sit up, stand in the crib, and scream her head off if something was wrong. I was SO scared of SIDS, I listened to her every breath, even in my sleep. One little hiccup and I was wide awake.

I don't think this makes me a better mother than anyone else, it just means that I was super, hyper vigilant and more than a wee bit terrified of anything happening. After 20 years of infertility, NOTHING was going to take away my "miracle baby"! Not if I had anything to say about it.

There's nothing like crying and davening in pain to Hashem for 20 years to make you exquisitely aware that your child is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

shabbatiscoming

Tue, Jan 28 2014, 7:50 am

saw50st8 wrote:

Is the car visible?

I do not unload my 3 kids to pick up my baby. I call ahead, the baby is ready, park in the driveway, go to the door and they bring the baby down.

saw, this would not work for maon. maon is a day care, probably at least 30 kids. they cant have the mitaplot going outside for other parents. the parents have to come inside. and I agree with grace, you can not always see your car. you may have to park down the block or even in the adjacent parking lot. Not a good idea and not doable for a maon.

And for whomever said to just take the car seat in with you, not everyone has those car seats that come out of the car. some are meant to be left in the car, so thats not always doable.

That being said, I personally would not leave a bby in the car, at all. You never know what could happen. Better safe than sorry, wear a wrap and put the baby in there for the few minutes that you have to go into the maon. Yes, its annoying but safer than not.