a world without my zeidy

tryinghard

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 12:55 pm

I woke up today in a world without Zeidy.
A world with less love,
less dedication,
less sincerity.
A world without the best influence in my life,
without that gentle force,
encouraging me to be better,
without that knowledge,
which would make me stop,
make me say,
“But what if Zeidy knew?”

I woke up today in a different world.
An emptier one.
A louder one.
A world deprived of one simple, quiet man
who made it a better place,
who made us better people,
who inspired goodness,
who assumed greatness
in all of us,
who propelled us further -
for did we dare to disappoint?

I woke up today in a world impoverished,
denied that surety of purpose,
that sincerity of desire,
that precision of action.
A world bereft of one whose very being
made us work harder,
made us aim higher,
made us live truer
than we would on our own.

I woke up today in a world that seems somehow darkened
without the brightness of his smile,
without the light in his eyes,
without the shining of his face,
as he so carefully served his Creator.
Meticulous in his actions,
conscious of every detail,
of the minutia which were not minutia
but handholds in his joyous struggle upwards,
onward, passionately working to do his Master’s will.

I woke up today in a diminished world,
without his zeal for Torah -
learning on his own,
hearing from his children,
sharing with his grandchildren
of the greatness he had witnessed.

I woke up today in a colder world,
missing his warm smile,
craving his sweet words,
crying for his ever-present, unwavering confidence and belief
that everything is for the best
and for a purpose.

I woke up today in a world without my Zeidy.

l'zecher nishmas Rav Shlomo Michoel ben Meir z"l

greenfire

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 12:57 pm

sorry for your loss Hug

Pineapple

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 2:04 pm

pumpernickle

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 6:17 pm

Wow! Beautifully written. We'll expressed! Thank you for sharing! May he be a malitz yosher for you.

Lish

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 6:34 pm

Wow! That is so beautifully written. Even though it's been many years since my own zeidy passed away I often think about him and wish he was still with us.

black and white

Thu, Apr 03 2014, 6:13 am

Thank you for such a beautiful poem.
As I read it I was thinking she must have known my Zeidy A"H.
What keeps me going, and obviously you have as well are the beautiful and meaningful memories of our dear dear Zaidies so close to our heart.
Well done, tryinghard. Hug

May his neshama have an aliya!

amother

Thu, Apr 03 2014, 10:11 am

oh - it looks like I knew your zeidy from the name you wrote on the bottom. I guess I am friends with one of your aunts. Where are they sitting shiva? Till when? You write very well!

PinkFridge

Thu, Apr 03 2014, 6:26 pm

So sorry for your loss.

tryinghard

Mon, Apr 07 2014, 11:38 am

amother wrote:

oh - it looks like I knew your zeidy from the name you wrote on the bottom. I guess I am friends with one of your aunts. Where are they sitting shiva? Till when? You write very well!

Sorry, I only got on imamother now. Shiva is in Far Rockaway. My mother and her sisters are getting up tomorrow, and my grandmother and uncles on Wednesday. Pm me for the address.