People who want free advice

asmileaday

Tue, May 13 2014, 1:02 pm

Totally acceptable to be annoyed and you have every right to charge for your advice. I take issue though with the 9th grade level question. As others have mentioned previously if it's not in their field it seems more complicated to them than to you...
Aside from that, I don't get why people expect to get free advice/service if you are not immediate family (and immediate family usually offers to pay...ime) I am a sheital macher and sometimes customers ask me can I come over for just a minute so u can touch up my wig it won't take long just a minute (iow don't charge me...). Or can you just trim my wig it shouldnt take long... Rrrr it's frustrating because I know it's not "just a minute" and there's a reason I charge for my work -it's my parnassah! If I'd wanna work for free I'd rather play with my kids or make something extra for dinner. Self understood if you're buying a new wig and you're here anyway I won't charge for touching up the wig you came with but otherwise.....people do not work for free. /end of rant Smile

Fox

Tue, May 13 2014, 3:22 pm

asmileaday wrote:

TI take issue though with the 9th grade level question. As others have mentioned previously if it's not in their field it seems more complicated to them than to you...

Okay, but we're not talking about highly-specialized or esoteric information. We're talking about basic functions of MS Office programs or even how to navigate in MS Windows. Can I tell you how many conversations I've had like this:

Quote:

Shaina Maidel: The program had a glitch and now my data is gone.

Me: What do you mean, "had a glitch"? Was there an error message?

Shaina Maidel: No, I just saved it and then it disappeared.

Me: Where did you save it?

Shaina Maidel: I clicked the "save" button.

Me: Right, but what folder did you save it to? Like, "My Documents" or maybe a folder you use for your work?

Shaina Maidel (sounding peeved): Oh, I don't know anything about that. I just click "save."

Personally, I wish Microsoft would require people to get licenses before using any of their products -- kind of like drivers' licenses. There would still be the occasional fatal hit-and-run, but there'd be a lot less road rage!

FranticFrummie

Tue, May 13 2014, 8:52 pm

Just be happy you're not a doctor. Imagine everyone and their brother coming up to you at kiddush and describing all of their itchy, oozing rashes and other embarrassing stuff. shock

TMI like whoa! Surprised

This thread is a real eye opener for people who are not socially adept. People need to learn how to say "I was wondering if you could help me with this problem. I think it's a quick fix, but if you need me to make an appointment let me know what your schedule is. What are your rates for this kind of thing?" (insert quick details as needed.)

Taking advantage of friends, no matter HOW close you are, is never a good idea. Always err on the side of treating them like a professional. If they want to give you the "friend's discount", let them take the lead.

debsey

Tue, May 13 2014, 10:27 pm

Happens to almost all of us in any profession that people need occasionally, not constantly. I try to listen to a two second sound bite. If it's really two seconds, I might respond quickly. (Do you think Malky X or Shani Y is a better math tutor for a seventh grader? Well, Malky teaches that grade, so I'd go with her.....) etc. If it sounds like a longer question (my daughter Shanny has sort of a math disability but maybe it's ADHD and maybe the health guy said it's vestibular...) I will cut it short and say "I can't give you the attention this question deserves right now, here's when I can talk. I charge X amount of money for this type of consultation"
You'd be surprised how often I DO get paid doing things like this, and it keeps me from feeling put-upon. I honestly don't mind "two second" things if they take under five minutes (when people say two seconds, hopefully what they mean is under ten minutes....) Once we're on minute 6, though, I start to feel taken advantage of.
So I'd tell "Shprintzy's Tatty" the next time he calls that you can't offer him enough attention now, but if he calls during office hours, the fee is.....
debs

amother

Tue, May 13 2014, 11:48 pm

OP here. Surprisingly, DH was not upset with me, as I had feared, when I confessed what I had done, bolstered by all the support I got from you ladies.

He did suggest that I call Shprintzie's Tatty & let him know that while I help him gratis as a friend of the family, he should just realize that for everyone else I charge for me time, and I prefer to prioritize my time to more challenging tasks than formatting margins in word (though I did just come from DD's house where I helped her format a graph for a report. But graphs are challenging, and frustrating!)

ESLevi

Wed, May 14 2014, 12:10 am

This sort of thing happens to me all the time too, as I am both the computer-savvy member of my family and neighborhood, and a writer -- so I get people calling to help them figure out how to use Word AND helping them figure out what to write in the first place!

You are absolutely doing the right thing by putting a limit on it.

And for those who find the "ninth grade level" comment to be condescending, consider that someone who is asking a computer professional a ninth grade level question obviously knows very little about what he/she is doing, and walking this person through the solution is an absolute nightmare. He/she does not know how to open a file, does not know how to save a file, does not know how to find it once it's saved ... often doesn't know how to find anything on a menu. It's an exercise in frustration.

I've learned how to patiently walk them through it, but I would only do it for people I have a close relationship with. Definitely not for a random caller. For others, I recommend speaking to my computer-savvy ninth grade neighbor. :-)

MommyZ

Wed, May 14 2014, 12:21 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

Just be happy you're not a doctor. Imagine everyone and their brother coming up to you at kiddush and describing all of their itchy, oozing rashes and other embarrassing stuff. shock

TMI like whoa! Surprised

Not just doctors, but nurses too.

shanie5

Sun, May 18 2014, 12:48 am

Fox wrote:

Fox, I just saved a document, then wanted to email it to s/o. It took me a bit of playing around to find out where it was saved. I am not given an option of where to save it-at least not one that I am aware of.

I still cant figure out mocrosoft express.

So it may be basic to you, but really is gibberish to many of us.

I only call family members to help me, as I agree with OP fully on her frustrations about the free advice.

groisamomma

Sun, May 18 2014, 4:57 pm

shanie5 wrote:

shanie5, when you save a doc for the first time you hit File, then Save As (not the simple Save) to choose your destination folder and to give your doc a name. Once you've put it in the correct folder you can hit plain Save on subsequent saves.

Fox

Sun, May 18 2014, 8:51 pm

At some point, new software is gibberish to virtually all of us. No one is born knowing this stuff.

The only person I know who can seemingly pick up new technology without investing much time is my DH, and he has a reputation as being eerily adept at learning new software, etc.

Seriously, the only way to learn is to invest the time in it. If you're the kind of learner who likes to have information presented methodically, there are tons of books and tutorials that do just that, topic by topic. If you're the type of learner who does better by finding the answer to your immediate question, then there are enough YouTube videos out there to keep you busy indefinitely.

Carving out time to learn can be frustrating when you just want to do a specific task, but there really are no secret shortcuts.

cbsmommy

Mon, May 19 2014, 10:28 pm

I'm with Fox - I'm pretty sure I had an out of body experience while reading this thread.

You think a friend asking you to "zip on over and fix my sheitel" is chutzpah? Try having random strangers, chesed organizations, Rabbeim, and community leaders contact you 6 times a week (bare minimum) with a sob story about how they NEED you and the services you provide for free...or better yet, for "EXPOSURE".

The following article was written by a colleague of mine.
It sums up the problem.
Really, darn, tootin well.

"To all my co-worker friends, ESPECIALLY the newer ones,

With Springtime upon us, we're seeing warmer weather, which brings us to the beginning of "EXPOSURE SEASON"

What's EXPOSURE SEASON, you ask?

EXPOSURE SEASON is when churches, charities, communities and other businesses begin contacting you to work at their events for FREE and in exchange, they'll promise you some great EXPOSURE.

THIS IS A TRAP that no matter how well or convincing it's presented to you, NEVER works out to the benefit of the worker. NEVER fall for the old "We'd like you to work for free, and in exchange, we'll promise you some great EXPOSURE. Strippers expose themselves every day and even THEY get paid for it.

Never work for someone who doesn't value you and your worth. The fact that they want you to work for free tells you how much they value you. More importantly , YOU need to know how much you're worth. How much do your supplies cost, how much would it cost in mileage? How much is the TIME worth?

In the end, doing free gigs for "exposure" almost NEVER benefits you. It benefits the client who got you to work for them for nothing.

Now, have I, or DO I occasionally do work for free? Yes. And most experienced workers, if they're honest will say the same. The DIFFERENCE is that I choose which events that I'll do for free. If it's a cause that's dear to ME, then I don't feel any regret over volunteering my time. You'll know which causes those are, and you'll gladly do them and not regret it for a second. If you let someone else tell you to work for free, you're letting them define what you're worth. And that NEVER ends well. (ESPECIALLY if you find out that they paid someone else who was there, but only asked you to work for free to save money)

REMEMBER, when someone ELSE tells you to work for free, you'll NEVER be happy on the job and you'll resent it for the entire time you're there. When YOU decide when to work for free, you'll love every minute of it."

amother

Mon, May 26 2014, 2:57 pm

This is OP. Today someone called my daughter for help with her sister's chasunah list in an Excel spreadsheet, wanting to sort names by last name, but they were entered as Mr. & Mrs. Yankel & Shprintzy Biegelmeyer.

I took the phone to start explaining & then said, wait, I will write you a tutorial. Which I did.

This young lady has been mother's helper to my kids. Although she is paid, she is a lifesaver, and I definitely feel a lot of hakoras hatov to her. She didn't even ask me, but I felt I should help.

She called to thank me & say she feels bad, she didn't expect me to spend so much time creating this whole fancy tutorial.

But she deserved it!

So, yes, there are times when it's appropriate. And a pleasure.

amother

Mon, May 26 2014, 3:37 pm

Sometimes when people ask me for quick advice I say "I'm happy to give you a quick answer but I wouldn't want to shortchange you of the type real exam and opinion that my patients get." I actually believe that but some people probably think I'm trying not to helpful since they're not paying.
I drew the line when a woman who knows someone who knows someone who I know asked for a prescription over the phone. I never met her and she was rather insistent. shock