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Accepting tzedaka from a family member

 
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amother






Post  Mon, May 21 2007, 12:41 pm
Would you feel VERY uncomfortable if you were struggling financially and a family member gave you their maiser money as tzedaka.

It just happened to me and I was torn between being embarassed and glad that I had such a caring considerate family...
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amother






Post  Mon, May 21 2007, 1:09 pm
it feels awful to be the taker, but if you are in that situation, just thank that family memeber. that was very special of them.

I hope your situation improves soon.
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amother






Post  Mon, May 21 2007, 1:17 pm
It could have been me writing that. We are in avery tough situation right now and family have been helping, I am both gratefule and embarrased. I find I can never buy anything bec. even if I have $10.00 everyone knows we are broke and I feel we always have to explain ourselves. Rolling Eyes
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amother






Post  Mon, May 21 2007, 1:44 pm
OP.
Right now we're below our allowed minus in the bank... And no credit cards.
Explained my situation to a family member who also isn't doing so well, but at least has more income than we do, so she just gave me her maaser money from her last paycheck. Felt a little funny... but we honestly don't have enough money to buy any food... and our cupboard is practically bare.
I feel poor.
But its great to know we have relatives that care enough. (Not all though... We asked our FIL if he could please help us because we didn't have enough to pay our rent, and said he couldnt help us. (he just redid his dining room and is planning an out of the country trip, so yea, right he can't help us, just doesn't want to...))
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Ruchel




 
 
 


Post  Mon, May 21 2007, 1:58 pm
I think it is ok, there is no shame in having financial problems!! You help them with a mitzva and they help you with a living Smile
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amother






Post  Mon, May 21 2007, 2:29 pm
If you are needing tzedakah according to the halacha and DO NOT take it, it is an aveirah. Thank G-d for such caring relatives, they did the ultimate mitzvah with their maaser $. (OK, maybe they could have got it to you anon but this way they will know you got it & it didnt end up lost or in the trash.)
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greenfire




 
 
 


Post  Mon, May 21 2007, 3:12 pm
in life there are no GIVERS if there are no TAKERS ... today you take and another time you will give ... im yirtzah Hashem ...
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amother






Post  Mon, May 21 2007, 3:16 pm
Same just happened to me. I didn't feel embarrased at all just grateful that someone was there so wiling and able to help.
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amother






Post  Mon, Jun 11 2007, 10:16 am
I "lent" my maaser money to a family member who was not doing well financially. if/when they get the money to pay me back they can...when I offered they declined but I knew they needed it badly so I insisted and they took me up on it. I was very happy to help out. so for all of those on the receiving end, the giver is truly happy to help so don't feel bad in that way.
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amother






Post  Mon, Jun 11 2007, 10:26 am
(he just redid his dining room and is planning an out of the country trip, so yea, right he can't help us, just doesn't want to...))

its not that he just doesnt want to... he doesnt NEED to,,, he did his share by raising your husband and I'm sure he helped you get married, what else does he need to do? be available financially to you till the day he dies? when can he get a break and enjoy life?
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amother






Post  Mon, Jun 11 2007, 10:32 am
don't be embarrassed, B"H they are willing and able to help. we once got a huge amt ($1000) from s/o in the family as ma'aser money and now we often get a minimal amt ($85) from s/o else. its nice to know they care enough to think of you and want to help you with whatever they could. if it helps just think of them as shluchim from Hashem for you to get the amt of $$ you are destined.
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