my son's learning | Imamother

miriamnechama

Sat, May 26 2007, 4:29 pm

my eldest likes to learn and recently has decided he wanted to start mishnayos even though he's second grade and only 7 and not learning it in cheder yet. he claims he's fineshed one set, I'm a bit concerned though and dh doesn't understand it, he told me once that he also plans to learn nashim and tehoiras which when I leafed through it realized that nashim also talks about nidda and tehoras also talks about mikvas. is there any reason for concern?? I already feel tha ti cant do anytjing when he is around ie preparing for mikva etc dh claims he doesn't understand what he reads but why expose a child to these things?? he's asked me if there is a mikva for mummy's well I didn't answer cuz he's the type that will want to go, well he goes with dh to the mikva. and recently he asked why I had 2 salt dishes on the table, I said cuz I want, well one was a heker. I feel that I don't want this to get too far but I cant do anything, cuz if I don't give him his smalll copy he'll take the big sefer instead. I just don't want it now to get to the point that he knows what matzev I'm in, even though we're extremly careful, ie now we have the beds apart all the time. (once we didn't) I never knew my foster mother matzev at all. btwe at the rate he's going he'll get to nashim in no time at all.

shalhevet

Sat, May 26 2007, 5:24 pm

miriamnechama wrote:

my eldest likes to learn and recently has decided he wanted to start mishnayos even though he's second grade and only 7 and not learning it in cheder yet. he claims he's fineshed one set,

I think it is not a good idea for a 7 year old to be learning any mishnas (yes, Shabbos and Brochos too) without someone learning with him. How can he understand it without someone explaining them to him? He's just reading with no understanding anyway. Why doesn't your dh (or if he can't, pay an avreich to) learn with him? I can't remember the name, but there is a two volume set of all the stories from the Gemorra which our ds loved reading a couple of years ago. Or stories about gedolim. Books about the parasha. Encourage him to do something on his level.

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I'm a bit concerned though and dh doesn't understand it, he told me once that he also plans to learn nashim and tehoiras which when I leafed through it realized that nashim also talks about nidda and tehoras also talks about mikvas.

He's going to get there sooner or later. That's why it's important that someone learns with him. Anyway what's the problem with tehoros? The mikva has loads more uses in halacha than nidda. Both in the time of the Beis Hamikdash and today (for geirim, keilim etc apart from men using it)

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is there any reason for concern?? I already feel tha ti cant do anytjing when he is around ie preparing for mikva etc

So don't.

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dh claims he doesn't understand what he reads but why expose a child to these things??

I wouldn't encourage it, but on the other hand if he accidentally reads something, rabbonim say that no harm can come from learning Torah. Even though my oldest dd is 13, we haven't hidden our TH seforim. They're there on the shelf.

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he's asked me if there is a mikva for mummy's well I didn't answer cuz he's the type that will want to go, well he goes with dh to the mikva.

What do you mean? Just tell him it's only for mummies. It's not tznius for boys. My children know I go to the mikva on Erev YK, so they know there's a ladies one and that only married women go.

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and recently he asked why I had 2 salt dishes on the table, I said cuz I want, well one was a heker.

Check with your rov if you need to use a heker when a child who you're embarrased to do something in front of is present. If you do, just use something less obvious. And when he asked he wasn't even dreaming about anything to do with nidda anyway.

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I feel that I don't want this to get too far but I cant do anything, cuz if I don't give him his smalll copy he'll take the big sefer instead. I just don't want it now to get to the point that he knows what matzev I'm in, even though we're extremly careful, ie now we have the beds apart all the time. (once we didn't) I never knew my foster mother matzev at all. btwe at the rate he's going he'll get to nashim in no time at all.

Ask a rav or his rebbe for advice. Even if he reads about it I doubt he'll even think about it applying to his parents. If you're careful I can't imagine he'll even know about nidda for years. Just don't turn it into a big thing, like that you let him learn everything except nashim.

miriamnechama

Sat, May 26 2007, 5:40 pm

he shouldn't be learning I before he he starts next year in cheder so pay someoneis a wate. I'd rather he reads stuff more on his age level but his problem is that he has to show everyone how grown up he is, my neighbours say that it is a stage that will pass. I know that he'll get there sooner or later, but boys only start learning thesethings andon a superficial level from after bar mitzva, my brother who is 21 still has no idea about the laws of nidda even if he learnt in gemara, so why expose it at such a young age?? I could say here is one for mummies only nad it's not tznius to gobut again I'm not sure if it is for attention or not, he might davka come after me and he's done it before. so I try not to make these things obvious to him as much as possible, but once theyturn bar mitzva I know that there is nothing to do because they talk about tese things in yeshiva so one just has to be extra careful and then of coursethey are on the look out to check the parents matzev, right now he's too young. I even designated 2 sets of linen crean coloured that I use just for 7 nikiim so if there is a white ontop it's not as obvious as for eg red and white. ie one bed with red the othe with white. and I try to keep what I can out of his sight, I did put my books away cuz I know that if he is getting to mishna he'll get to them sooner or later, well I left just one out my husbands.

miriamnechama

Sat, May 26 2007, 5:58 pm

you mean if he is just reading it you don't think he understands what he is reading?? I would still discourage nashim if has nidda inside, besides he started going to masmidim who knows what he learns there, I just checked and eg nashim has quite a few things relevent to women that I would not expose my son to, nidda is in tehoras, but things like kesubas and gittin and kesubas why expose them to that?? a child eg needs to know tha heye is such a thing as devoce chalila for what?? and part o mikvas talks about a woman not to ment nidda, ok I can understant that tehre are important thing to learn such as keilin etc but what shouldn't be exposed shouldn't be exposed to a young child, I don't need that one day he'll come and say to me eg " look the mishna says that eg you have to go to the mikva right why don't you when will you go?? etc" I feel like I don't need his interferences as it is he already is like that with a watch that he got recently that has all different times and shows when skia is half the time he come yelling "shkia shkia" I'm just like be quiet, he's like a bossy type of boy.

Imaonwheels

Sun, May 27 2007, 6:25 am

All Israeli kids in cheder learn Mishnayos in 2nd grade and it is not difficult material if he is learning Brochos. At the end of 2nd grade my ds had finished it twice and as soon as they learned Rashi script did it the 3rd time with R' Ovadia Bartinoro. Encourage review so it will go slower.

I would do it this way. Tell him everytime he finishes a chapter he will go to Tatte, big bro, his melamed, etc to go over it and he will get a treat. NEVER EVER discourage a kid who wants to learn.

As to delicate subjects, until the thing is relevant then they seem to hover over the material. I was quite surprised when my oldest went into yeshiva ketana they were going to learn Kiddushin. Also I had no idea that the 8th grade melamed had already started it with them so they would start off on the right foot.

A funny story. A friend of mine who was also a single parent had also a lot of boys and girls as well. She combined two apartments by opening a wall and she and the girls slept in the rooms on one side and the boys on the other. By nature each used the closest bathroom. One day a son around 15 had to and the 'boys room' was occupied. He ran to the other BR and while in their noticed supplies left by his sisters. He asked Ima what it was and she told him and it looked like he was going into shock. She asked him if he learned about such things in the Gemora. He said yes but never thought it also included his sisters.