A powerful speech by Rebbetzin Twersky

amother

Thu, Jan 01 2015, 10:22 am

Rebbetzin Twersky spoke to a group of Hadar Alumni recently (early December) in Lakewood at Beis Tova. The following is a part of the speech given. (exactly word for word) Let us all be inspired to make a change.

The Eibishter is calling out, the Eibishter is insisting,
He’s screaming,
The Eibishter did not bring this terrible tragedy so that we should just be mechazek,
He brought this terrible tragedy so that we should make a major change,
I’m pleading with you,
I’m begging you,
Cut those long sheitels-
they’re terribly long,
the more inches, the bigger the korbon.
My husband always told me throughout our marriage, when something was very difficult for me to do, but needed to be done- he would say to me,
Be a Nachshon! Take the plunge, plunge into it without any cheshbonos!
And if I would ever do it, he would be so proud and he would say- You did it! You were the Nachshon!
Let us all plunge into it,
today and tomorrow, let us not push it off.
No more long sheitels!
None!
The more inches, the bigger the korbon.
And maybe then the korbonos would not have been in vain.
And if we do this for the Eibishter with love,
the Eibishter will return his love for us.
And then there should no longer be midas hadin in Klal Yisrael- ad beyas goel tzedek.

debsey

Thu, Jan 01 2015, 11:30 am

chani8 wrote:

Oy, such propaganda. As if G-d cares how long is your wig. He only asks that you be a tzanua. In this day and age, with your hair completely covered, and your neckline to your knees completely covered, G-d can only be smiling on you, even if you're wearing a long sheitel.

. I am conflicted about this one. I dislike the "G-d's Accountant" aspect of all calls to teshuva like this one. On the other hand, if her students said to her "Rebbetzin, what do you want us to do, l'iluy nishmas your husband?" and this was her answer, then I'm comfortable with it. She's passionate about tznius, this is her request. When a tzarah happens, we are SUPPOSED to take on a new mitzvah. As long as it's not - this tzarah happened BECAUSE of you- then it doesn't bother me. I actually made an appointment to cut my sheitel after hearing this. But I do NOT believe my Shevy sheitel CAUSED the attacks.

amother

Thu, Jan 01 2015, 11:39 am

debsey wrote:

I know this is a childish way of looking at it, but it's a genuine question. If tzaros cause us do to more mitzvos, and Hashem wants us to do mitzvos, wouldn't that be a great reason to keep bringing on tzaros?

amother

Thu, Jan 01 2015, 11:49 am

I think what she meant is that just like Hashem took these four korbonos from us, we women should try to do a korbon for Hashem. Hashem loves when we try to improve in modesty. Cutting a wig is a tremendous sacrifice. Most women I know would rather work on any other area than modesty.

I recently heard something so amazing. A Rebbetzin was talking about the very topic of mesiras nefesh for Hashem. She said that nowadays Boruch Hashem frum Jews have it pretty easy, kosher food abounds, Shabbos is beloved by all, we can practice freely in a country that embraces religious differences. There are so many chesed organizations, women love doing chesed. Shmiras Halashon groups are everywhere. Everyone is talking about unity.

So where is the sacrifice for Hashem. She then explained that it is the area of modesty. The world right now is so immoral, pritzus pictures are everywhere. Kavod is given in the secular world and unfortunately in the frum world too, to women who look very glamerous. She explained that Hashem is waiting for us to make a personal sacrifice for him. For a woman in this day and age to work on modesty- it is a tremendous sacrifice for Hashem.

Especially with all the social pressures and allure of false kavod for how one looks- cutting a wig is one of the biggest sacrifices a woman could do in this day and age.

debsey

Thu, Jan 01 2015, 11:55 am

amother wrote:

if indeed, Hashem is sending a message with the tzarah, and we accept the message, He doesn't need to send us another message. The PROBLEM is when someone takes their pet peeve and says "this is the message". We are supposed 2 do our own cheshbon hanefesh and figure it out, not impose our decisions on others. That's what I call being Hashem's Accountant. It is particularly egregious to me when random men decide that they know the message - it's women and their tznius. Unless a man is a true gadol hador and has ruach hakodesh, I'm not interested.

Lady Bug

Thu, Jan 01 2015, 11:57 am

amother wrote:

When I don't rage in anger, I am sacrificing for Hashem. When I accept my lot in life, I am sacrificing my dreams for Hashem. When I judge others favorably, I am sacrificing for Hashem. When I am patient with my children, I am sacrificing for Hashem. When I forgive those who have hurt me, I am sacrificing for Hashem.

Why does everyone assume modesty when we talk about sacrificing? It is much harder for me to control my anger than it is for me to cut an inch off my sheitel, yet no one ever holds mass speeches on that.

Chayalle

Thu, Jan 01 2015, 12:00 pm

debsey wrote:

Well said.

Chayalle

Thu, Jan 01 2015, 12:01 pm

Lady Bug wrote:

like again.

amother

Thu, Jan 01 2015, 12:02 pm

I agree that when we work on all areas of midos it's a big sacrifice for Hashem.

But I think modesty in general is particularly challenging for most women, not all women.

I have friends that love being modest, it's not a challenge at all, but for the majority of women that I know working on tznius is super challenging!

Most of my friends do not want to cut their long wigs! It's become part of their identity.

amother

Thu, Jan 01 2015, 12:06 pm

I think we should just take Rebbetzin Twersky's words to heart, and for those women who feel like they could do it- they should just chop off an inch or two from their wigs!

What's the point of arguing about her words- she just lost her husband and this is what she asked women to do.

She must feel that it's something very big

Lady Bug

Thu, Jan 01 2015, 12:11 pm

amother wrote:

Yelling when I'm angry is part of my identity too. Even more, it happens subconsciously, it's so hard for me to change that pattern. I don't want to change it, it feels so good to let off steam. . And FTR, I get the challenge of modesty. It is a challenge for me too. But it is not THE challenge in my life, that needs my fullest concentration and powers of sacrifice.

amother

Thu, Jan 01 2015, 1:35 pm

I actually heard a recording once of a speech Rav Shalom Shwardron where he said that if a woman davens but she is not dressed modestly while doing so her prayers stay suspended in Heaven and do not reach the kisei hakavod. He cried about women lighting Shabbos candles and davening by the candles while wearing a long wig.

I've heard the same about speaking Loshen hora, and when one thinks about it- speaking properly is tznius of the mouth.

Even if we don't think modesty is so important obviously big Rabbaim do. Maybe that's why they always scream about it!

happysmile1

Thu, Jan 01 2015, 1:43 pm

I agree!

I switched recently to only wearing tichels and received so many comments from people- the most were people asking me if everything was okay, implying that for someone to switch to a tichel they have to go through a traumatic experience.

It's kind of sad that we sometimes only improve in modesty when things are going rough. But I guess that's human nature. Imagine if we took on improvements when things were going well!