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Forum
-> The Social Scene
-> Chit Chat
amother
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 Thu, Jun 07 2007, 4:09 pm
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Is there anything wrong with asking a friend to let you know when they get a call about your kids, if you've given them as a reference for shidduchim for your kids?
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Ima'la
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Thu, Jun 07 2007, 4:13 pm
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I don't see what's wrong with it...but then you'll know (unnecessarily) about all the guys who say no - I.e. your reference got a call, but the shidduch was never rett to you...
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chocolate moose
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Thu, Jun 07 2007, 4:17 pm
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it might lead to disappointment.
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amother
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Thu, Jun 07 2007, 4:17 pm
| Ima'la wrote: | | I don't see what's wrong with it...but then you'll know (unnecessarily) about all the guys who say no - I.e. your reference got a call, but the shidduch was never rett to you... | People get nos all the time. Sometimes they get nos bec. they're too educated too frum, too smart, too good midos etc., SO WHAT?
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amother
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Thu, Jun 07 2007, 4:20 pm
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OP here. The question is if you want your friend/refrence to notify you, is there something wrong Halachically or Midos-wise with that?
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southernbubby
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Thu, Jun 07 2007, 4:38 pm
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It is important to know if the references are being called. Sometimes the references say things that are incorrect and then it is important to find out who said what and set them straight. People usually ask references that are NOT on the list and those people often will not divulge that they were asked. Knowing that the references were called means that the shidduch is at least being considered.
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