Secrets of the "put-together" woman

Miri7

Wed, May 06 2015, 6:53 pm

Some women just always look "put-together" whenever they step out of their house. Even if they are in a casual outfit and just running to the market. I am not one of those women.

I manage to keep my house and children in good order, but when it comes to my appearance, well, I'm just not very put-together looking.

I have some nice clothes, but often scramble to put an outfit together, can't seem to get it quite right. I'm often digging around in my purse trying to find something. I wear a little makeup, but do practically nothing with my hair, and feel like I arrive places looking flustered and slightly disheveled. I'm a professional and am trying to look a bit more put together.

If you are a put-together person, what are your tricks, tips, or secrets?

Do you plan your outfits in advance? Always stop to retouch makeup or lipstick before leaving home or stepping out of your car? Any and all advice, tips, or tricks are welcome and appreciated.

stem

Wed, May 06 2015, 8:39 pm

Look into this, it may change your life: http://dressingyourtruth.com/ Dressing Your Truth by Carol Tuttle
The author of the book has a whole program that helps people figure out what their style is for their true selves, and how to create the right outfits for your body and personality. The book is great and there are tons of videos on youtube for further exploration of the topic.

amother

Taupe

Wed, May 06 2015, 8:59 pm

My current look is rather more "pulled apart" than "put together" , which I blame squarely on the fact that I'm carrying a 40-lb sack of lumpy potatoes around my midsection, which is about as unpulled together a look as you can have. but my HS was very style-conscious, and lacking both the figure and the money to wear the latest fashions, I had to put a lot of effort into looking what I can only call, for lack of a better word, "smartly turned out." Not fashionable, mind you, because I'm not one to follow trends, and not chic, because my build even then was more "comfortable" than "sleek", but you could tell I didn't just grab whatever was on top of the laundry basket. Here's what I used to do:

1. Plan and lay out everything the night before.
2. Have everything in tiptop shape. shoes polished to a sheen, clothes wrinkle-free. An iron is a girl's best friend.
3. Scarves, scarves, scarves. If not around my neck then in my hair. If I had had a waist I would have worn them round it, but I didn't so I didn't. The scarf would have the colors of both the skirt and blouse, creating a coordinated "ensemble" out of two random pieces. But not too random.
4. If a blouse and skirt of similar hue didn't quite match, as they never do if you don't buy them from the same mfr., I would wear a vest or V-neck sweater to camouflage the difference. A belt will do the same thing if you have a waist.
5. Tailored designs, simple accessories. Nothing big, loud, flappy or fluttery that would make me look harrassed or falling-apart. Some of my scarves were on the wild side but because they cover only a small area,they just add a small splash of color and pattern and don't look messy if tied right.
6. I would tie and retie a scarf till it fell just right. I learned many different ways to tie scarves depending on the size and shape of the sacrf and the neckline of whatever I was wearing.
7. A bottle of clear nail polish to stop pantyhose runs in their tracks.
8.Jewelry matches clothing in terms of style, genre and proportion. Tailored jewelry with tailored clothes, ethnic or peasanty jewelry with ethnic or peasanty clothes.
9. Clothes match in terms of color, season, fabric and weight, IOW, fisherman-knit sweaters go with wool kilts, not with floaty floral ballet skirts. Corduroy skirts go with leather boots, not strappy white sandals.
10. In HS I didn't wear makeup except way too much sticky lip gloss. Nobody told me the look was less "juicy" than "patent leather." Even on a teen, this isn't a good look. It also created problems in class because by the time I got my lips unstuck, someone else had already answered the question. Today I wear minimal makeup: blush applied very lightly with a fan brush that more hovers over the skin than brushes against it, just enough so people don't try to give me CPR; a little concealer round the eyes so they don't call Animal Control to capture the raccoon; shadow applied with a very light hand for just the suggestion of subtle color on the upper lid; and lipstick, see "blush". the only thing I ever retouch is lipstick, and then only sometimes.
11. Just for fun and for a really pulled-together feeling, I had a collection of underwear and slips in different colors and whenever possible matched them to my outer clothes.
12. It helps to be thin and flat-chested because then your shirttails are more likely to stay put. You can cheat by tucking your shirttails inside your pantyhose. Once upon a time there was a wonderful thing called a "bodysuit", which was a cross between a shirt and a Onesie. It had snaps at the bottom so you didn't have to strip to use the bathroom, and there were no pesky shirttails to come creeping up and ballooning round your middle.
13. A comb. You can't look good with your hair a mess, no matter that the fashion mags are full of articles about how to get "piecey" "beachy" "unstructured" "slouchy" hair. Code words for "sloppy."

Many amothers will argue long and hard against everything I wrote, and it's true that girls prance around in Uggs, cable-knit tights, a sequinned tutu, a black bra under a white gauze Poet shirt and tweed shawl as if this were normal . If you feel styliish and pulled together that way, you're living in lala land but not hurting anyone except my eyes, and if you're happy I guess that's what counts. But OP doesn't feel pulled-together and so I'm advising her on strategies that will give her the look and feeling she wants.

ETA Proper fit can make the difference between looking trim and looking disheveled. Sleeves that are too long and shoulder seams that hit halfway to your elbows look draggy; too short and you look like a kid whois growing faster than her mo can buy her new clothes. If blouses gap between the buttons, sew in snaps, or sew the placket closed so you put the shirt on over your head. Skirts that are too long also look draggy; wear them as long as necessary to satisfy tzniut but not gratuitously longer. Skirts with a slim silhouette, not pencil but modest A-line or with an inverted pleat, tend to look neater than voluminous ones, and are safer in windy weather. Bags should not be too big or slouchy.

Dolly Welsh

Wed, May 06 2015, 9:47 pm

Great post.

Miri7

Wed, May 06 2015, 10:06 pm

Wow, amother taupe. That was an incredible and thorough answer. Thank you.

Pooh

Thu, May 07 2015, 7:50 am

Color stay lipgloss really stays almost all day. I put it on once in the morning or right before bed and forget I have it on until hours later I look at myself in some reflection and get surprised how nice I look w it on. I secretly thank myself for using that thing!! $8-$10 Goes a long way!

Ruchel

Thu, May 07 2015, 8:44 am

You can do nice simple outfits. A black skirt with almost any color top (solid or with drawing etc).
Get colours easy to match: blue, white, red if you are ok with it, black.
If you feel lazy, nice black flats go a long way.
Look at your make up in the car before getting up.
If you don't know how, don't pair more than 3 or even 2 colours.
The more you have small kids, the less time you'll have to devote and it's NORMAL.

imaima

Thu, May 07 2015, 8:59 am

One of my put-together friends told me she NEVER buys a new thing until she knows what in her current wardrobe she is going to wear it with. This way the majority of clothes match.

Also, learn your type and what colors look good on you. Those colors usually can be combined no problem since they are the same hue.

Hang clothes in your closet by outfits.

amother

Salmon

Thu, May 07 2015, 9:45 am

imaima wrote:

This is interesting. I just reorganized my clothes. They're now in a closet with 2 rods. I don't have any dresses. Top row is my Shabbos (I.e. dressy) skirts, Shabbos jackets, Shabbos cardigans, Shabbos shells and other tops, weekday skirts. Bottom is weekday jackets/sweaters, long sleeve solid blouses, long sleeve print blouses, short sleeve or sleeveless tops that go under something, then the same that go over. I don't do shells too much for weekday.
Heavy weekday cool weather sweaters and turtlenecks, and t shirts, are in drawers.
I have lots of scarves, I love the new long scarves and have those folded in a drawer, and my older scarves, which will probably come back, on a special scarf hanger.

But OP might not want to use me as a model.

amother

Slategray

Thu, May 07 2015, 9:45 am

I think that hair, shoes and skirt make up most of the picture. I look shlumpy with full face of make up and good hair and top if I'm wearing ill fitted skirt and no special shoes. They don't need to be heals just need to look nice and neat and the skirt needs the right fit. Choice in top can't really break the look that much at that point. And with everything else being perfect you don't even need the warpaint to look put together.

Scrabble123

Thu, May 07 2015, 10:05 am

Heels.

Maya

Thu, May 07 2015, 11:06 am

Scrabble123 wrote:

Heels.

Yes. I don't own a pair of flats, and while I don't know if you'd call me put together, I always feel good about my outfit.

Tablepoetry

Thu, May 07 2015, 11:14 am

Scrabble123 wrote:

Heels.

Only if they can walk properly in them.

MamaBear

Thu, May 07 2015, 11:16 am

At least one thing in your outfit should be interesting. If you're wearing a solid skirt and top, then wear great interesting shoes.

Wear a solid tee with a skirt in a cool print.

Wearing all black or all of any neutral color? Add a statement necklace or even just a pop of color on your lips. Maybe a bright shoe.

But just one or maybe two things should be unique or eye catching - too many and the look is too contrived or tacky/gaudy.

And yes, always always pick out what to wear the night before. It take 5 minutes but in the morning that's 4 minutes too long.

MamaBear

Thu, May 07 2015, 11:20 am

The other tip is to just try a little. On the days I literally throw something on, that's what I look like: like I just threw something on. Wink

Putting just a few minutes of thought into it goes a long way. But you have to want to try. Some days I don't want to try because it's just not that important.

sequoia

Thu, May 07 2015, 11:39 am

Maya wrote:

Yes. I don't own a pair of flats, and while I don't know if you'd call me put together, I always feel good about my outfit.

You go hiking in heels?

tigerwife

Thu, May 07 2015, 12:04 pm

A nice wig and nice accessories. Buy a bag and shoes that you love. You can wear all black under underneath but it won't matter!
And in cooler weather, a pretty coat is the best trick!

amother

Violet

Thu, May 07 2015, 12:33 pm

80% of it is cleanliness and neatness in details.
Keep good skin care regimen, hair/wig clean and brushed, excess hair that shows always waxed or shaved, and makeup clean, ie no foundation lines or eye liner smudges. When personal appearance is very clean you give off a healthy strong vibe.

When you get dressed make sure your clothing is clean and ironed. Have taps and heels on your shoes so they aren't rubbed out, make sure your hems are good, and your clothing should fit you.

Style is the small part that gives some women an edge but it's not what makes you look put together and strong.

asmileaday

Thu, May 07 2015, 12:39 pm

Maya wrote:

Yes. I don't own a pair of flats, and while I don't know if you'd call me put together, I always feel good about my outfit.

As someone who loves wearing heels (even if not so comfy) I need to ask, what do you wear on weekdays when running out to the grocery or some other errand? I love heels I just didn't really find any cute colorful (cheap!) weekday shoes that have heels. What do you wear?

amother

Violet

Thu, May 07 2015, 12:56 pm

asmileaday wrote:

Not Maya but fyi wedges are a lot more comfortable than heels. Doable in the weekday

ETA I personally think heels are overkill. I live in one of those neighborhoods where everyone looks amazing all the time and there are a lot of sneakers in the weekday...designer sneakers, yeah, but sneakers. People don't usually feel the need to get coffee or grocery shop in heels!