6 years old and out of control

amother

Thu, Jun 14 2007, 6:52 pm

So my 6 year old who is in pre 1 a is out of control. He never listens to anything I say or the teacher . I stay stop he does it... His school told me he needs behaivor classes Does anyone know anyone or does anyone have a solutiion before I go out of my mind

amother

Thu, Jun 14 2007, 7:07 pm

hm.... its hard cuz u arent giving more info. why do u think he isnt listening? how do u dicipline him? whats happening in the home? are there family problems? is he treated with respect? do u fight with him for eveyr little thing? let him do whatever he wants...... then its easier to see the problem.

shoy18

Thu, Jun 14 2007, 7:16 pm

there are behavior therapists, my nephew went to one over last summer, it really helped.

Have you taken him to the eye doctor? Sometimes kids need glasses and act up because they cant see.

amother

Thu, Jun 14 2007, 8:38 pm

you know I cant seem to think of anty problems at home I am pregnant with #3 buthe doesnt know... I may be more tired and mor irritable but still that doesnt make it any excuse for his behaivior. HE JUST WONT LISTEN. I am going to the country do you know of behaivior therapy up there?

amother

Thu, Jun 14 2007, 8:40 pm

Have you thought about talking to a therapist yourself for being a "parent coach". Nobody gives you a class on how to handle your child and the best approach for you to use with your child. There are so many books with so many different methods, each which can work, but not necessarily with your child. I have been seeing a coach to help me parent. It has worked wonders....you have no idea. This is the second coach, however, the first one wasn't so good. I didn't realize til started going to the second one how bad the first was. My son has son attention and hyperactive issues - he is not a bad kid - I think I was being a bad parent. Not knowing what to do and just ending up frustrated, angry, and defeated. Not available for my other children. My son just needed the right methods.

amother

Thu, Jun 14 2007, 8:43 pm

I tried it ALL "come lets see who can go first" I asked him tonight why he says because everyone n his school hates him THEY ARE GIVING UP WITH HIM ..... BUt he always comes up with these stories he has a major imagination

imala

Sun, Jul 15 2007, 9:34 pm

I am currently taking a parenting class over the phone with Simi Yellen. She was a talmidah of Rebbetzin Spetner in E'Y. who is a very famous mechaneches there and she has a very specific method of chinuch (based on R' Volbe). I'm taking the class because I want to be the best parent I can be and it is geared for children ages 2-10. She starts new classes every once in a while. If you want more information about it, let me know.

amother

Sun, Jul 15 2007, 10:53 pm

I think instead of sending him to behvioral classes u should go to parenting classes. most times kids dont behave cuz they arent being parented properly or have a disability. kids are good and wnat to be good but they do NOT DO WELL with critisism. they THRIVE fromn positive renforcement and lots of LOVE. and dicipline in a positive loving yet effective way.

Tefila

Sun, Jul 15 2007, 10:58 pm

Quote:

I think instead of sending him to behvioral classes u should go to parenting classes. most times kids dont behave cuz they arent being parented properly or have a disability.

My exact thoughts too amother.
I also suggest OP that you do it asap.
6 yrs old is not a 2 yr old.

Look we all have what to gain by going and learning about parenting courses, Exclamation

Even if we are doing it right , no harm for a refresher course also they may be different methods out there that can enlighten a parent on how to deal with this type of child.

msym

Mon, May 11 2009, 3:49 pm

imala wrote:

Do you (or anyone) have more information about simi yellin and when her next class is? TIA

pecan

Mon, May 11 2009, 3:59 pm

First of all, parenting is an ongoing job. You are never finished parenting. Teaching kids to listen is an ongoing job. You cannot do something once or twice and say it didn't work. You are constantly teaching children how to behave.
How to do this most effectively? Consistency - kids should know what to expect. Follow through with whatever you have told your son to do, and positive reinforcement.
Go to a good parenting class - kids this age are often a product of circumstances, and even if they are not you can learn to deal better with him.
Does he eat properly and go to sleep on time?
Is the Rebbe experienced and does he have a good reputation?
Is there good sholom bayis in your home?
Is he acting out of anger or because he's busy doing other stuff?
Has his hearing been checked?
Does he know what is going on in school? Can he read? Is he bored?
Sometimes a child might need a different setting.
Sometimes he may need a professional evaluation. If you are in New York, you need to ask the school who they recommend for evaluations.

Tamiri

Mon, May 11 2009, 4:07 pm

amother wrote:

I am going to the country do you know of behaivior therapy up there?

Find out exactly what your child needs, then make plans for the country. Don't tailor his course of treatment based on anything but WHAT HE NEEDS. Put him first, get him on the right derech, then worry about the summer. You will thank yourself later.