How to trust others with my child

amother

Gold

Mon, Jun 08 2015, 7:14 pm

I'm young 21, and have one child. Im wondering if I am overprotective over my child or I have a problem with trust. I worked full time since my baby is 3 month old (he's 13 month now) I did tonz of research on the babysitter(home daycare) I was going to send too
Heard only amazing info. I left my baby knowing that he's in good hands. It looked like she took good care of him untill one day he comes home with big bumps on his head ...basically she put him on the kitchen counter (he was 8 month) and he fell. I immediately took him out of that daycare. Later I heard from other parents that they saw him a few times on the couch/counter/wash machine alone cuz the babysitter was bz doing house work. I was shaken and scared to send him to another babysitter. Finally I found someone that is supposed to be amazing.....since he started at new babysitter he fell down two flights of stairs cuz she forgot to close the door. Also she provides car service.last week my baby arrives home I went to get him from the car and he was not strapped in his car seat. Is this the norm??? I had bad experience with 2 babysitters that I heard aamazing info on. .. How am I supposed to trust anyone with my child?????? I'm freaking out. I'm scared in 2 years from now I'll send him to cheder..hearing what type of abuse goes on..... How do parents feel calm sending out their kids and not going crazy from worry? ????
Anon cuz ppl know this story with babysitter

gp2.0

Mon, Jun 08 2015, 8:18 pm

It's important to keep some perspective and remember that even the most caring trustworthy people make mistakes.

OK, 8 months is too young for a child to be alone on a high surface. And kids should always be properly secured in cars.

But I also made the mistake once of forgetting to close a door and my then one year old tumbled down the steps. Should my DH not trust me anymore? My two year old tumbled down the steps once because she attempted to carry a doll carriage up with her. DH didn't fasten DD into her stroller once and then started chatting with someone and she tried to climb out and fell onto concrete. Does this mean I can't trust DH anymore?

People make mistakes. Kids get bumps and bruises all the time. They get fingers caught in doors, fall off play equipment. Gosh, I can't even count how many times a toddler snuck up behind me on tiny feet while my head was in the fridge or a cabinet and when I turned around I bumped right into them.

miami85

Mon, Jun 08 2015, 9:14 pm

I think that as much research as you do, people are human. They make mistakes. I know one time I forgot to buckle my child in the carseat--it was only a short distance--nothing happened. I think in addition to nanny camming--which you shouldn't do secretively, I guess you can ask questions to your prospective nannies about safety. Reassure yourself that you can't prevent all bumps and bruises in this world, and that in general caregivers are good people

amother

Azure

Mon, Jun 08 2015, 9:43 pm

Bruria wrote:

Maybe a nanny that does not have to do any house work would be better, because this way she can give your child full attention and you wouldn't have to worry so much.

I think only if you have a nanny cam it's better because they can just be busy with their cell phone etc.

amother

Gold

Mon, Jun 08 2015, 9:50 pm

Hi op here I agree that everyone can make mistakes. .and is normal for kids to get bumps and bruises. ..However dont you think that someone that does babysitting for a living and has the responsibility for other ppl children shud make it her #1 priority that the kids are safe? How can I feel comfortable when I know that she's watching 5 kids under the age of 3 and doing her house work instead of playing/watching the kids.... shes getting paid for this. And it's not like the kids are there full day is only till 2:30 then my husb usually watches him till I come home. And who knows what else goes on while I don't see? About a nanny at home is a good idea but I can't afford it is too expensive. Where I live the government helps with daycare.