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Forum -> Relationships -> Guests

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Motek

Tue, Jul 03 2007, 6:47 pm

When you visit a friend, how long should the visit last? How long is too long and overstaying your welcome?

Can a hostess indicate that she's had enough or is that rude?

Dini

Tue, Jul 03 2007, 6:52 pm

when you want your guest to leave you ask them if they would like a tea before they leave LOL

amother

Tue, Jul 03 2007, 8:21 pm

Or have the lights on a shabbos timer Twisted Evil

and they'll go off with you apologizing oh it's that shabbos timer again. Tongue Out

Annie

Tue, Jul 03 2007, 9:10 pm

I can still remember having a shabbos evening meal where I visited for a while, then cleared the dishes, then took the table cloth off, then the light went off, and yet, my company was still there . . .

Depends on who you're visiting and how tired they and you are :-).

Nomad

Tue, Jul 03 2007, 9:30 pm

maybe she can say...
"well...this has been so much fun!, but ive really gotta get moving on blah blah or its getting kinda late..."

I dont think thats rude

DefyGravity

Wed, Jul 04 2007, 12:08 pm

amother wrote:

Or have the lights on a shabbos timer Twisted Evil

and they'll go off with you apologizing oh it's that shabbos timer again. Tongue Out

HA!!!! That's what DH does!!!!!

greenfire

Wed, Jul 04 2007, 12:14 pm

hey some people don't like the lights on ... so they would feel more at home perhaps ... you better just say straight out ... okay gotta do stuff ... bye ...

aussiegal

Wed, Jul 04 2007, 2:05 pm

my BIL;s favourite joke to say at the end of the meal to guests who are overstaying their visit:
(only as a joke to family, never to real guests!!)
"well...I know why I'm not going to sleep..but why aren't u?"!!!!!

mimivan

Wed, Jul 04 2007, 3:36 pm

I had a guest who came over and ending up living in my apartment for a year! She was a prospective geyores who had been cut off from her family and didn't want to live with a non jewish roomate, but couldn't find a place with frum Jews (I guess they were worried that she hadn't converted yet) She had a very low paying job and couldn't make normal rent. People asked me how I could let someone "take advantage" of me like that, but in the end, she was the one who ended up making my shidduch!! b'h

In Japan they use food as a form of communication. When a guest is staying too long, they serve him pickles and green tea for breakfast, and then he knows it is time to leave...without those painfully subtle hints...

sounds like a good system!

Tefila

Wed, Jul 04 2007, 6:28 pm

Defy glad u like that idea too Twisted Evil

shopaholic

Wed, Jul 04 2007, 9:23 pm

We've never intentionally set the lights go off so we can end the meal, but sometimes the meal goes on so long that we get to the time that they are set for. It IS a good way to politely get guests to leave.

chocolate moose

Wed, Jul 04 2007, 9:33 pm

I visited a friend once with the kids on Shabbos afternoon, and finally left when her kids kvetched to be fed shalosh seudas. I didn't think it was that big a deal to feed the kids while I was there, but it seemed to be so I didn't go back with them . . .

I often go to a shiur and stay later to clean up, but if the woman of the house didn't seem to not mind/want it, I would glady leave. course I don't have little kids ......

Motek

Thu, Jul 05 2007, 6:53 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

How long do you think is the right length for a friendly visit?

Lechatchila Ariber

Thu, Jul 05 2007, 7:22 pm

you have to be able to read people's vibes and body language.
I hate the thought of being in someone's "space" when they have had enough, and am always alert to any signs of wanting me to go.
Some are good at moving you towards the door, but others aren't.

chocolate moose

Thu, Jul 05 2007, 8:17 pm

Why not ask BasHInda? I don't drop in on anyone else besides her !

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