"out-of-town" | Imamother

613

Thu, Jun 30 2005, 2:55 pm

my DH is from NY. I am not, and we don't live in NY. recently, I was talking about the "out-of-town" mentality, and he was wondering why when I say "out-of-town," I'm implying, "out-of-NY" even though NY is NOT "my town." get what I mean? out-of-town has the same NY implication for everyone, doesn't it? anyone know why?

sarahd

Thu, Jun 30 2005, 3:15 pm

Because New York is the one and only real "town" there is, of course. Everything else is just one indistinguishable mass of boringness.

Motek

Sun, Jul 03 2005, 10:03 am

for one thing, everywhere else goes to sleep at 10:00, no pizza stores open (gasp), no ice cream stores open (gasp), no minyanim for maariv till midnight and beyond with rides back to Lakewood ...

Tefila

Sun, Jul 03 2005, 11:18 am

Plus in Ny you have minyanim from early in the morning till later on in the day. Doesn't matter what time u arrive to shul, u can be guaranteed there will be a minyan 8)

queen

Wed, Jul 06 2005, 9:00 am

NY has a MUCH larger grid of jewish cities, all interconnected and easily accessible via the car vs. "out of town" communities, where the Jewish area is relatively much, much smaller in comparision.

This being so, NY'ers are better connected, have better selections all round and (unfortunately) feel there is no need to ever venture out of thier "world."

howeverrrrrrrrr- I personally feel out of towners are much nicer and friendlier to those they don't know, kinder and less judgemental.

So for all those 'out of towners' on this site- give yourselves a pat on the back!!!!!

buba123

Wed, Jul 06 2005, 10:12 am

I agree! Here in NY we know automatically who the "out of towners" are - they are kind and polite and well-mannered. I've lived in NY all my life, and the only bad thing about it is people's lack of respect ( yes, including me unfortunately!!)

Pearl

Wed, Jul 06 2005, 10:18 am

I visited new york only once, and only for 4 days, but it was enough to at least experience the rudeness of the ppl......

gryp

Wed, Jul 06 2005, 11:19 am

Quote:

I agree! Here in NY we know automatically who the "out of towners" are - they are kind and polite and well-mannered.

there are just too many people in NY standing in the way of where you could be going. and too little time to find out why there are so many people in your way. never mind the number of people willing to take advantage of quieter people who are less aware of whats going on around them.
lets just say NY has a whole different set of etiquette rules. Smile

carrot

Wed, Jul 06 2005, 11:55 am

this reminds me.... I was raised "out-of-town" (and can't wait to move out there again to some friendly little nowheresville...) when we were kids, every now and then we would visit our cousins in new york. invariably, they would make fun of our accent. for some reason they were able to make us feel truly wrong (even embarrassed) to pronounce words the way we did, while we could never quite communicate the idea that their accent was as funny to us as ours was to them. I love my cousins dearly, but they do have some sort of new york center of the world mind block.

I ALWAYS wondered why when people say "out-of-town" they mean out of new york, even if that's not where they are. when I lived where I used to live, I said "out-of-town" when I meant out of the town where I lived.

timeout

Wed, Jul 06 2005, 12:08 pm

Buba I'm sure you're not as rude as you think you are you're just being a New Yorker Straight and to the Point.

I still have people telling me after all these years that I don't act like I'm from NY shock

queen

Wed, Jul 06 2005, 12:14 pm

timeout wrote:

I still have people telling me after all these years that I don't act like I'm from NY shock

that's a compliment!

lucky

Wed, Jul 06 2005, 1:33 pm

I'm always asked if I am from canada. I dont know where I picked up that accent,

I grew up in the suburbs, no closing locks, no fear walking around at night,no traffic lights, no non jews at all in the area I lived. When I go to the city, I am an out of towner. I am the one looking at the street signs, and looking 3 times before I cross the street.I wait my turn instead of pushing ahead of the line. YES there is a big difference!!

chavamom

Wed, Jul 06 2005, 4:25 pm

I don't think that the politeness factor is just an NYC thing. My husband is from Philly and he still brags to family about how polite and friendly people are (generally!) to family back East. I'll never forget right after we moved here (midwest) and my husband came home with a look of amazement on his face saying "the guy bagging my groceries called me 'sir' and used 'please' and 'thank you'. I think the only thing a bagger has ever said to me in my entire life is 'youwantpaperorplasticbud'!" I'm from the midwest, so to me that kind of behavior is just normal. People from elsewhere come here for shabbos and can't get over how perfect strangers (and not a few) will say 'good shabbos' when you are out walking.

sarahd

Wed, Jul 06 2005, 4:42 pm

When I was out West in Washington and Oregon on vacation a few years ago, I couldn't believe how friendly the people were. I mean they said "Have a nice day," and they actually sounded like they meant it! The first few times I just gaped at them like, "are you for real?" But it seems they were!

queen

Thu, Jul 07 2005, 2:22 am

I'm not sure why NY'ers are so much busier than everyone else in the 'outside world' that they can't say hello and be friendly as out-of-towners are............

Does it take extra energy to be nice or am I missing the boat?

Rivk

Thu, Jul 07 2005, 10:30 am

I know some of you may think this was a little extreme, but when I was in shidduchim I started turning down all the New Yorkers after a while. (Not that there were so many to begin with anyway!) I just found, that being from "out of town" myself, there was a culture/mentality clash. I just knew I wouldn't end up marrying a New Yorker, and I didn't!

queen

Thu, Jul 07 2005, 11:02 am

I didn't turn NY'ers down, however found a big difference between out of town and in-towners..... across the board.

and ended up marrying someone from OUT OF TOWN!!!!
go out of towners!!!!!!!!!!!
Very Happy