S/O Pesach programs-nice vacay or grossly ostentatious?

PinkFridge

Wed, Dec 02 2015, 11:08 am

Here we go again Tongue Out

I do not begrudge people for how they choose to spend their money. If I was on the tuition committee and I saw gross prioritizing, I would say something.
Yes, probably all the programs overdo it on the food, and many lack a real taam of the yom tov. Many others do not.
I. Don't. Care.
Why do you? Really, you seem to have something on your mind. Not an agenda, but probably observations or personal experience. Please elaborate and give some guidance as to how you'd like your thread to develop.

pesek zman

Wed, Dec 02 2015, 11:13 am

Pesach in a hotel is the BEST VACATION EVER. I've always said this, but it is worth repeating:

Pesach away isn't a 1-week vacation, it's a 1-month vacation! For the month before Pesach, when everyone is working like slaves, I can live my life. It's expensive and it's a luxury, but it's the only vacation I take all year and the only time that my family (who live dispersed) are together.

I don't undestand the part about 'not what Pesach was intended to be". As far as I'm concerned, Pesach was when we were freed from being slaves; I don't see why (if people choose to and can afford it) going away is not in the spirit of Pesach. To me, it's EXACTLY the spirit. Slaving away (if one can help it) to me isn't the spirit.

naturalmom5

Wed, Dec 02 2015, 11:31 am

This is a very loaded subjective question

If you are baalei tshuva and have no family at all, parents are deceased, siblings aren't frum. It is very nice to go to something like pesach for less instead of being a nebcase by " friends "

OTOH, spending 10kk in the virgin islands for unbrida!ed hedonism in a traditional setting of course, I don't know

Everyone should do their own self- introspection and do what works for them

sweetpotato

Wed, Dec 02 2015, 11:40 am

This is interesting to read. My MIL is considering doing a Pesach hotel for our whole family this year. None of us have ever done it. Her father will be keh turning 80 during Pesach, and is disabled and he and my grandmother-in-law can't travel up to us. They live in Florida in an inconvenient location, so in order to spend Pesach/birthday with them, it's either rent an apartment and make Pesach in their town (bring/buy dishes, kasher, clean, cook, etc., plus the difficulty of them coming to and fro for the sedarim, etc.) which would involve taking off extra days from work for everyone, or do a Pesach program in a nearby hotel, where her parents can be comfortable and spend time with their grandchildren/great-grandchildren. I wonder if other families might do it for similar reasons. It looks like it'll be a nice vacation, too, which is a plus-- if someone can afford it, I don't see the negative.

TwinsMommy

Wed, Dec 02 2015, 6:36 pm

naturalmom you described us. we're bt, no siblings for either of us, only one parent between the 2 of us (my fil) and he's not at all comfy spending Shabbos or YT with us. Our kids are special needs enough not to want to fall asleep at someone else's home, and young enough not to want to stay up. So seder is.... me and my husband. All of our friends have family come in or they go to family. If anyone knows someone who'd like to be a guest at a seder in Cleveland let me know. Smile

It's lonely but it's lovely at the same time--- hubby and I really bond over lots of interesting seder readings and I participate like a mad woman because I'm half the equation rather than just someone's wife in a seder led by the men.

I can't imagine spending sedarim with a bunch of people we don't know.... or even being in the same room for seder with a bunch of people we don't know. part of the beauty of Pesach is being IN our community--- even though seder itself is just the two of us, we go out for lunches, spend time with friends, enjoy davening in our own shul (well hubby does anyway--- my kids don't spend a lot of time at shul yet).

I can't stand crowds. And I can't imagine spending my money that way. To each their own. The problem I see with this stuff is that the people I know who do this don't do it with their own money.

Why put "friends" in quotation marks when for people like us, friends ARE our family? For Pesach sedarim it's not easy for us to go to someone's home, but how do you think we get through Shabboses and Yom Tovim? our FRIENDS! I would HOPE people don't see the family-less as "nebcases".

Raisin

Thu, Dec 03 2015, 1:32 am

I think there is a really a space for lower cost programs. Like someone was telling me about a program that does not serve breakfast or snacks, just lunch and dinner. People bring their own snacks and breakfast food. I'm sure that cuts down on the costs tremendously, and is not really such a big deal.

Also, who needs all the expensive entertainment?

I would love to go away for pesach but its not going to happen, only one of the reasons being money.

I'm not sure how much time it would save. I would want to clean my house anyway. I guess it would save all the kitchen swapping and lots of cooking.

PinkFridge

Fri, Dec 04 2015, 6:38 am

Raisin wrote:

I think if I had all that money, and had the space for all my family, even if shifts, I'd get lots of cleaning help and hire sous chefs.

Ruchel

Sat, Dec 05 2015, 11:30 am

I hate yomtov and shabbes away, sooo hard in a hotel (though a Jewish hotel is 100 times easier).
I'm a neb case, like most of my world, we do chagim in family with our spouses and kids, eww, right? and we even, gasp, enjoy it. We don't need to be leeches at a friend or to run away at a program. Geez the words people use on others.

Raisin

Sat, Dec 05 2015, 1:54 pm

Ruchel wrote:

I can see why it makes sense for two working parents to go to a hotel. They already have to take vacation days for yom tov (in the usa people get very little vacation days) and maybe more days because kids have off from school. So some people use it as their annual vacation.

amother

Bronze

Sat, Dec 05 2015, 2:14 pm

First time ever went away last year to a glamorous Florida Pesach Program, it was an eye opener, incredibly lavish and luxurious, great fun, and decadently extravagant. We did this as a one off as my dh is very ill and he wanted to give us a distraction and a fabulous vacation. It really was. I do not think I will ever do it again, too costly, very ostentatious for us and very self indulgent, but I can definitely see the appeal. If people can afford it, and it brings families together, good luck. We noted that well over half of the families there accompanied elderly relatives, many combined visiting grandparents that lived in Miami with staying in a fancy hotel and having a fully catered Pesach program. Some people just rented nearby and chose to have their meals at the hotel.

I have never seen so much exquisitely prepared food, nor so many dressed up people before, we normally holiday in Israel and Europe, whilst we have stayed in some high end hotels, the Pesach Program in Florida was something else. For many it would be a nice vacation, for others grossly ostentatious, it is all down to a question of taste.

We all had a fun time, whether is was spiritually uplifting is another matter!!