Can I just skip the "required" gifts this year?

myself

Sun, Dec 06 2015, 6:28 pm

amother wrote:

You are a cynic, and I resent your incorrectly conclusively deciding why I do something. I do it because our Rabbi said to. This is the end of the story. Your "everyone" is limited to your circle, your family and whoever else is mad at Satmar. Sometimes know it alls are wrong even if all the other know it alls in their life agree.

I do a lot of things I don't agree with because the Rabbi says so. I only stand up when I disagree strongly. I honestly don't mind giving 18x to the rebbes. What exactly am I bribing them to do? Change grades? Teach their class? Give recess? Challenge my son?

I give a lot more to the school than some measly gelt to the rabbis. Do I do that to bribe the administration to change grades, give recess, challenge my son or have tenbes teach? I am not understanding the bribe part.

AFAIK giving a tip on Rosh Chodesh is a Bobov minhag.

groisamomma

Sun, Dec 06 2015, 6:38 pm

amother wrote:

Of course. Nothing should be by merit.

Let's let the single girls know they have no value for the work they provide because they are not supporting a family and their work is only to educate girls.

BTW why would you assume the bus driver for girls is less likely to be married then the bus driver for boys?

Amother Yellow (or Amother Coward, whichever you prefer) I'm sorry to burst your bubble and disprove your assumptions. But if you absolutely must know, these are our calculations for this year:

We are tipping ds's rebbe and bus driver (forgot to write his English rebbe too) because they celebrate Chanukah. My girls' non-Jewish drivers will get gifts during Xmas season, which is when they celebrate. As for their teachers--single and otherwise--we will I"H be able to give tips Purim time, which is when we will skip the rebbe and bus driver.

I am truly happy for you that you can afford to give everyone all at once. As a teacher myself I know how nice it feels when parents show appreciation, but I know that giving thanks does not only mean in the form of money or gift cards, or any gifts at all.

...and now you can apologize.

groisamomma

Sun, Dec 06 2015, 6:50 pm

Raisin wrote:

If I don't have enough to give a nice gift to each teacher I would give a smaller gift or something token. Not a large gift to one or two teachers and nothing to the others.

At the start of the year we knew we may not be able to do Chanukah gifts for the teachers so we sent a small honey dish to thank them for a great start to a sweet New Year.

I believe that every family has to do what works for them and if my children are overlooked because we aren't as rich as their classmates then I guess I should be more thankful to Hashem that they don't have special needs or any reason to need extra attention from the rebbe or teacher.

amother

Yellow

Sun, Dec 06 2015, 7:03 pm

groisamomma wrote:

Apologize for what to you? I responded to another poster who said you weren't giving money to the lady teachers because maybe they weren't married. I think the marital state of the teacher has nothing to do with their merit.

You also said you were only giving your son's rebbe and bus driver which started this discussion. You didn't say you were taking care of the the girls' teachers teachers at another point in time.

amother

Mistyrose

Sun, Dec 06 2015, 10:58 pm

groisamomma wrote:

I am not the other amother but I do want to say that this sounds very different than your original post. You could have just said "we will give the others at other times since it's hard to shell out that much at one time".
I almost had the same reaction to yellow amother (btw, calling someone names isn't a great way to prove your point. I go amother when I say something that my friends will recognize since I talk about these things IRL.). Many I know say they only give to the Rebbes to show their importance over girls teachers...