S/o Mishpacha fiction school jobs - Realistic expectations?

youngishbear

Wed, Dec 30 2015, 8:02 pm

Is it realistic to expect schools to meet all social, emotional, spiritual, and scholastic needs of all their students? Can the faculty really know which child is in greater need of a specific "job" to build their self-esteem? They can estimate and guess, but is it realistic to expect them to really know?

And there are so many students who need it. How can we even expect 100% need-fulfillment by the school with their limited understanding and limited number of positions that can realistically accomplish these goals? (If they add too many honor titles/postions, the potency of the healing power is diluted.)

Additionally, if a student doesn't reach out to anyone on staff to share her struggles, how does she expect anyone to help her? If she's floating by, seemingly from an okay home, she may not get the TLC every child of Hashem deserves. But why blame the school? In the fictional story, the girl actually spoke up and was turned down. That was sad. But how often does the student assert herself like that IRL?

Some schools provide guidance counselors and such, but students hesitate to turn to them, for whatever reason. Again, why blame the school?

There are many problems with the system, and some schools are better than others in this regard. But have we begun to expect too much from our schools?

amother

Lilac

Wed, Dec 30 2015, 8:16 pm

Our eighth grade yearbook editors were decided by vote but the principal had final say. Officially I "tied" with someone else for writing editor (the most prestigious job) so the principal did a gorel and she got the job. Unofficially? The principal told me privately that I actually had slightly more votes than the other girl did, but since I was "more capable" of withstanding the disappointment, she chose the other girl over me.

This was a situation where the truth was not necessary. I was crushed and pretended to be fine with it and puzzled for a long time over what the principals motivations had actually been to deny me the job I had rightfully "won."

I was shunted to "art editor" (the second "most prestigious" job) as a consolation prize, despite other girls having gotten voted higher than me for art editor. The whole situation was messed up. Confused

youngishbear

Wed, Dec 30 2015, 8:24 pm

amother wrote:

Perfect example of schools interfering for the sake of one girl while sacrificing another. Perhaps she was technically right and you were more resilient. But can they really know?

Messed up on so many levels.

amother

Lilac

Wed, Dec 30 2015, 8:37 pm

Oh I remember the details now! It's even more messed up than I remembered lol. I was tied for editor in chief based on my writing skills. Instead of being given the job of one of the secondary writing editors, which I would have loved, I was given the job of head art editor because that was next in line of "prestigious" jobs. So clearly the principal didn't have me in mind...she was trying to cover for something. Just never figured out what. Twisted Evil

tigerwife

Wed, Dec 30 2015, 9:44 pm

They can't be expected to know everything. But they don't have to choose the same girls for every prestigious position, year after year. They can open their minds to the fact that Suri can be a great chesed head even if she doesn't look like a chesed head clone. I can understand marks being a factor for some extra-curricular jobs (to be GO Prez, you really need to know how to keep up with classes and EC), but production heads should be talented and not just 'tops'. Definitely some girls have both, but it shouldn't depend on the latter.

Voted should work well if they aren't skewed by teachers with agendas.

At the end of the day, though, these things should not matter much. I don't think I've ever gotten a prestigious position in HS yet I was still very involved with the ECs because I volunteered to do so. It feels good to be chosen but let your daughters know not to take these things personally and give school their best nonetheless.