How do they know how?

amother

Cerise

Mon, Feb 22 2016, 6:19 am

I was always curious about this:
How do very sheltered people figure out how to be intimate? The basics are taught but does everyone know how to french kiss? I am not trying to be rude I am just so curious...!

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Feb 22 2016, 6:21 am

Practice makes perfect
Learn by experiencing things.

Even if one reads about these things or sees movies, that is all completely not real.
Just learn by doing things and figuring out what feels good.

chani8

Mon, Feb 22 2016, 6:26 am

An FFB dear to me said, "People have been having s-x since the beginning of time. I don't see how it can be all that complicated." It's seriously not. One does what they desire to do. If they never french kiss, they'll still be fine...they may even have great s-x without ever french kissing.

amother

Cerise

Mon, Feb 22 2016, 6:53 am

chani8 wrote:

For sure I just wonder what f0replay looks like without it.. oh well I guess I will keep wondering lol

amother

Cerise

Mon, Feb 22 2016, 6:54 am

Heyaaa wrote:

They may know how to French kiss without knowing its called that.

It doesn't matter what it's called but how do they know how?

Heyaaa

Mon, Feb 22 2016, 6:55 am

amother wrote:

It doesn't matter what it's called but how do they know how?

Not to be crude but not everything dh and I tried had either of us seen anywhere else.

chani8

Mon, Feb 22 2016, 7:03 am

amother wrote:

It doesn't matter what it's called but how do they know how?

It's so not science. There is no one way to french kiss. No right or wrong way.

People who like to kiss will figure it out.

Are you asking for instructions? Are you mocking the FFB? Or did you just watch it on TV and wonder how non TV watchers would ever figure it out??

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Feb 22 2016, 7:03 am

amother wrote:

For sure I just wonder what f0replay looks like without it.. oh well I guess I will keep wondering lol

I am sure even people who know what french kissing is may not all do that in f0replay.
OP, every couple does things there own way. Not everyone does the same thing as the next couple in f0replay. And you may know about certain things and not do them anyway.

amother

Cerise

Mon, Feb 22 2016, 7:05 am

chani8 wrote:

I am absolutely not mocking anyone - just genuinely curious. Yes, I watched it on TV and always wondered if I would've known the concept had I not been exposed.

amother

Ivory

Mon, Feb 22 2016, 7:19 am

some people know about it naturally. some of my kids have attempted to do it to me at age 1, 2, maybe even 3---but I sort of prevent it from happening, so, I guess it's instinctual for some.

salt

Mon, Feb 22 2016, 7:21 am

amother wrote:

I am absolutely not mocking anyone - just genuinely curious. Yes, I watched it on TV and always wondered if I would've known the concept had I not been exposed.

I'm pretty sure Adam and Eve didn't have a TV, and for quite a few generations after that!

amother

Hotpink

Tue, Feb 23 2016, 5:19 pm

I am from a very sheltered community and so is my husband. Here's what I've got to say:

1- just from going to Manhattan one or twice all is open to the naked eye

2- my husband who is nice and frum always discussed these things in kollel with other chashuva yungerleit when we were newlywed. It's the norm.

3- my husbands chosson rebbe from Williamsburg taught him more than just the basics. Including touching down there.

4- actions such as French kissing develop automatically if their is a loving relationship. It does not have to be taught.

5- once couples are married, for the most part, even the ones that grew up very sheltered, end up doing their own research on how to enhance f0replay. Except if they are simply very dumb, and that has nothing to do with being sheltered.

6- a lot says in the Gemara. Men try to figure out and experiment what the Torah tells us.