What do you think of BY girls being forced to clean?

amother

Ecru

Tue, Apr 05 2016, 11:51 am

My daughter has to clean other people's houses. I am totally against this. The only supervision is another ninth grader. Why do they do this to the girls?

harriet

Tue, Apr 05 2016, 11:54 am

huh? Can you give us more information? Who is forcing her to clean someones home for Pesach (and how?!!?)

Goldie613

Tue, Apr 05 2016, 11:57 am

amother wrote:

My daughter has to clean other people's houses. I am totally against this. The only supervision is another ninth grader. Why do they do this to the girls?

I don't understand...are you talking about her school having a program where the girls have to put in chesed hours? A lot of high schools have that, but the girls can usually choose to volunteer with organizations or help take care of someone's children if they don't want to help someone with household chores.

Can you explain exactly what she has to do, for how long, and according to whom?

gp2.0

Tue, Apr 05 2016, 12:06 pm

Chessed begins at home. If they're going to be cleaning for pesach, they should clean THEIR OWN houses first.

amother

Ecru

Tue, Apr 05 2016, 12:08 pm

I know a house where the man exposed himself, and it was covered up. Another girl is no protection. Last year, the girls were complaining about how dirty and filthy the houses were.

Maya

Tue, Apr 05 2016, 12:11 pm

gp2.0 wrote:

Chessed begins at home. If they're going to be cleaning for pesach, they should clean THEIR OWN houses first.

That's the argument all mothers are making. Apparently no one cares.

nywife

Tue, Apr 05 2016, 12:13 pm

We had this program in high school. The houses were scouted out in advance to make sure they were ok to go to. (I'm saying that vaguely because I have no idea what their criterion were). Pretty much all I recall about this annual trip was a day off to go to a strange persons house and clean their refrigerator.

Last edited by nywife on Tue, Apr 05 2016, 12:15 pm; edited 1 time in total

nywife

Tue, Apr 05 2016, 12:15 pm

amother wrote:

I know a house where the man exposed himself, and it was covered up.

You mean the story was covered up? 🙈
Seriously though, how is this trip any different than regular (usually weekly) Chessed trips? OP, are you ok with that but just not with the cleaning aspect?

Chayalle

Tue, Apr 05 2016, 12:16 pm

My school did this when I was in upper elementary school, sent us in twos to do Chessed before Pesach. I would never allow my daughters to participate in such a program, even though I'm big into Chessed, unless I knew where they were being sent and was comfortable with the home and what would be asked of my girls.

I was sent one year to a home where the father hung out and shmoozed with me and the other girl. B"H nothing more than that happened except I felt creeped out and uncomfortable. I have my suspicions and am grateful that nothing worse happened.

gp2.0

Tue, Apr 05 2016, 12:19 pm

Honestly I remember going to clean someone's house and it was largely a waste of time. Everyone felt uncomfortable, we schmoozed and laughed our nerves away, there was no way we were going to tackle clutter and disgusting messes so we wiped down a couple of shelves and that's about it.

LittleDucky

Tue, Apr 05 2016, 12:26 pm

Can I get someone?
Seriously though, I think it is awful. Have them do a day at their own home. Have them make sure to take pictures or something to prove they didn't just go to the mall or something.

In my school we didn't do this. We had to do chessed but it was volunteer and we could choose how we did it (different organizations, a weekly family we helped at etc) AND we needed a permission slip from parents to do it. If we were needed at home we were not supposed to do chessed.

We should not be teaching our girls they are servants, ready to be loaned out at any time. All kids should be taught chessed and how to help at home. Boys too (gasp!).

imasinger

Tue, Apr 05 2016, 12:42 pm

Don't you, as a parent, have the right to stand firm?

If you say you don't allow her to participate, and she is needed at home, what would the likely consequence be?

thunderstorm

Tue, Apr 05 2016, 1:26 pm

It's the first time I'm hearing of this program...We had off from rosh chodesh so that we could help our own mothers...I cleaned my mothers entire house while I was in highschool cuz she was working full time and did not have cleaning help. I'm surprised a school would "force" such a thing on girls. If anything it should be voluntary

rae

Tue, Apr 05 2016, 1:30 pm

My high school did this to us. Came home crying after being asked to scrub out sticky encrusted drawers. Would not be comfortable letting my daughter do this unless I knew the family.

amother

Ecru

Tue, Apr 05 2016, 1:32 pm

imasinger wrote:

Don't you, as a parent, have the right to stand firm?

If you say you don't allow her to participate, and she is needed at home, what would the likely consequence be?

You get labeled a difficult parent. Remember you need these recommendations further education and for shidduchim. This is why we all let ourselves be controlled.