Not feeding baby in middle of the night

BennysMommy

Tue, Aug 07 2007, 4:41 pm

My baby is 11 months now. He goes to sleep very well. I put him in his crib, say shema with him, give him a kiss and tell him how much I love him. He then turns over, puts his thumb in his mouth and I walk out. He does this even if there's noise in the house. Even if I stay in the room for a few minutes, it's not a problem.
But...he still wakes up to eat in the middle of the night. I know at this point he can't be hungry twice a night, (can he?) but when he wakes up I nurse him and he goes straight back to sleep. If I don't take him out of his crib he will continue crying. I haven't ever let him cry that long (prob like 10 minutes max- saw it didn't work and went to pick him up) because it's easier to just bring him to my bed and fall back asleep while he's nursing. I want to stop because I don't think he really even needs it, I'm losing sleep and I don't want to teach him a bad habit of coming into mommy's bed when he gets older.

I need advice. Please be nice to me if you feel something I am doing is wrong. Tell me, but tell me nicely. Thanks Very Happy

greenfire

Tue, Aug 07 2007, 4:55 pm

sweetie - don't worry - it's time to train him ... each night when he cries go to him make nice, but don't pick him up - stay 5 min, lay him down and leave ...
if he still cries, go again in half hour and repeat - again making sure not to give in ... then 1 hr ... the next night ... it should take a week and lots of patience - even if you cry and can't sleep ... it'll work ... and you will both be happier ... GOOD LUCK!!!

Twizzlers

Tue, Aug 07 2007, 5:02 pm

I dont have a solution, but I can definitely sympathize.

my son is the same age and has got the same problem. I put him in with a bottle at 8, he drinks it and goes straight to sleep until about 2 am. I am wayyy to tired to get up at that point so dh hands him another bottle and leaves. then he goes till 8am. I have tried letting him cry like you said, but it was tooo heartbreaking after more than 10 minutes. for a while I woke him up at 11 for a bottle and then he continued the nite until 8 but I cant seem to get rid of that nighttime feeding.

I also tried feeding him more solids during the day...it got me absolutely nowhere.

I'd love to hear some suggestions too.

su7kids

Tue, Aug 07 2007, 5:06 pm

Do you not want to nurse him anymore in the night?

For those who are nursing clean and are using nursing as a birth control (when its working), when you start skipping night nursing, it may lose its effect.

Ruchel

Tue, Aug 07 2007, 5:20 pm

su7kids wrote:

yup. When I started wanting my nights, I stopped nursing clean. For me it was worth it though.

Feed him a bottle in his room, not yours. Have you tried giving him a BIG meal before bed? Send dh if need be. On "dinner" we give a bottle with formula and puréed veggies or fruits, or bledine and she sleeps 10 hours straight bh.

BennysMommy

Tue, Aug 07 2007, 5:28 pm

Haven't been nursing clean for a while already so that's not an issue. (even before he started solids and he wasn't on any formula!)
He doesn't take bottles so I can't send my husband to him with one. I guess I'll try to go in and comfort him without feeding him. I'll let u know if it works. I'm sure it will...the question is how long it'll take.

Thanks everyone for all the advice!

Anyone else? Feel free to continue posting!

Pickle Lady

Tue, Aug 07 2007, 7:39 pm

shoy18 wrote:

try sending dh into comfort him, since he obviously cant nurse, he wont get extremely upset when you don't nurse him.

This is the BEST advice anyone here can give you.

My daughter also if she would see me at night, all she wants is me to nurse her. If my husband goes to her, she falls asleep right away.

If you are feeding solids make sure he has a good meal at night. I have noticed my daughter sleeps better when that happens.

Nicole

Tue, Aug 07 2007, 7:53 pm

my daughter started to finally sleep through the night at 10 months and I was in a similar situation. I KNEW she couldn't be hungry, she was eating solids very nicely by that time. But she was waking to nurse bec she was used to it.
I slowly weaned her off. The first night, I gave her a bottle of my milk, no nursing. She fell asleep. A little bit after I started watering down the milk in the bottle and this still "satisfied" her and she fell asleep. Now I knew it wasn't that she was hungry, just that she was used to having something. we progressed to water, which she protested to, but I knew she didn't need the milk at this point, and after a few (difficult) days, she stopped waking at all. Or rather, I should say that she does awaken sometimes, but I just give her her pacifier, and she falls back asleep.
It's hard being a mommy- we all want to do what's best for our kinderlach!

Marion

Wed, Aug 08 2007, 2:17 am

My DS wasn't hungry...he was THIRSTY. Now I put a sippy cup of WATER (not so bad for his teeth!) in his crib just before I go to bed myself. If he wakes up he finds it himself, drinks what he wants, then goes back to sleep.

BennysMommy

Wed, Aug 08 2007, 8:35 am

Marion wrote:

how did u figure that out?

suomynona

Wed, Aug 08 2007, 9:14 am

there was a point when my son was about 1 years old that I knew he wasn't hungry when he was waking up during the night so I used to just hold him and sing to him for a few minutes and put him right back into his crib. It worked fine. I don't even remember if it was every night or just periodically. I don't think that period of time lasted too long. He slept through the night since then.

Sharon8310

Wed, Aug 08 2007, 9:21 am

When I stop nusring DS at night DH took over bedtime stuff so DS would not see me and get upset that I was not nursing him. It took two long nights but third night DS slept until six am. Cant ask for better than that.

Marion

Wed, Aug 08 2007, 1:19 pm

BennysMommy wrote:

Marion wrote:

how did u figure that out?

Because he was pushing food away. He wasn't refusing to eat, he just didn't need/want anymore. (And I "cheated". He would sign "milk", which to him is any liquid. We're now working on the signs for "water" and "food".)

Ruchel

Wed, Aug 08 2007, 2:30 pm

Sleeping through the night... 6 hours? 7 hours?

at 3 weeks she slept 6 hours (1 day out of 2 she needed to eat once in the middle of these 6 hours)
at 6 weeks 8 hours (1 day out of 3 she wanted to eat once in the middle again)
at 3 months 8 hours all the time