S/o of rude lady with dd's tantrums

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how do you feel towards a person who reproves you? (check post)

You know they're doing it out of care for you or your child no matter how they say it, so you're fine with it.

[ 2 ]

You know they're doing it out of care for you only if they say it nicely, so your fine with it.

27%

[ 27 ]

Mind your own business no matter how they say it.

56%

[ 55 ]

other

14%

[ 14 ]

Total Votes : 98

out-of-towner

Tue, Aug 02 2016, 11:17 am

I have mentioned before that DD has a moderate, but noticeable leg defect. B"H she has pretty much met all of her milestones and walks well, but if you are really looking you can tell that something is off. I am pretty open about her condition if it comes up in conversation, and will explain the dynamics of her treatment plan and what can be done to her as of now. HOWEVER, one Shabbos morning, she was walking to Shul and a totally random older couple comes up to me and says "you know, you should really get her leg checked out because there is a lot that the doctor can do to help her!" Had I been a bit more brazen, I would have said "really, I didn't notice it!" I mean, come on, do you really think that it's news to me that my daughter's leg is noticably turned in??? And no, right now there is nothing to be done about it that will help her in the long run, I have an orthopedist that I trust, thank you very much!

Chayalle

Tue, Aug 02 2016, 11:30 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

I am absolutely not criticizing you. I'm genuinely wondering how someone can fall and hit their head, from a sitting position. I'm trying to picture it, but I'm not coming up with anything. If a child is sitting properly, and can still fall, that is really scary!

I have seen kids who are way too old, and should know better, climbing on, around, under carts, basically using them like a jungle gym, and the parent says nothing, even when the cart is about to topple over! (Not implying that this happened to you personally.)

I was on my way into Costco. Somehow the wagon hit a dent - literally the line between the pavement and the sidewalk. It's hard to believe it happened. The wagon sort of flew up on a tilt and she was jounced out of the wagon. She landed on her head. It's like a crazy freak accident, but she spent a few days in CHOP, and they told me you wouldn't believe the amount of injuries they see from shopping carts. It's the type of thing that people are unaware of, which is why I wonder if I should spread the word. When I see toddlers in the back of shopping carts, standing up, I feel nauseous, and I'm back screaming with my DD on the pavement. I'm in the emergency room when she has come to, and she's staring at me and not able to think of who I am though it's clear she knows me but she's struggling with her brain, struggling to stay conscious. And I want to tell them GET YOUR CHILD OUT OF THE CART YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT CAN HAPPEN.

Children should ONLY be in the seat (not the back) of the cart, strapped in!
ETA: My foster son was seated on the front seat, strapped in, and he was fine, stayed put. Don't put your child in the back of the cart. It's for groceries, not for kids!

FranticFrummie

Tue, Aug 02 2016, 11:36 am

Chayalle wrote:

I don't know why they disabled the hug feature in this forum, but Hug

.

I can't even imagine how traumatized I would be if that were my daughter, and I don't think I'd ever completely get over it, too. I'm really sorry you feel attacked in this thread. I want to believe that like me, people were just having a hard time picturing the logistics of it.

My mom always said, "Old age doesn't give you gray hairs. Your kids do!"

farm

Tue, Aug 02 2016, 11:38 am

Chayalle wrote:

Missing the hug button just about now. I'm glad your daughter had a full recovery.

anonymrs

Tue, Aug 02 2016, 12:28 pm

Chayalle, I'm sorry if I sounded critical in any way. It was not at all what I intended. You definitely had a traumatic experience and I can well understand why you would want to warn other parents about the dangers about being unsafe in a shopping cart. I was just explaining why there was no need for anyone to comment on my daughter being that she WAS safely strapped in the front, as she should be.

amother

Babypink

Tue, Aug 02 2016, 3:08 pm

I have put a kid in an infant seat (buckled of course but not to the cart) in the basket as infants can't sit anywhere else. Is this crazily dangerous? I don't let my kids sit in the basket even if they cry that they want to...

Chayalle

Tue, Aug 02 2016, 3:42 pm

carrot wrote:

I am also wondering how a kid sitting in the back of the cart falls out? I do often let my kids do that, so I'd like to understand.

According to the doctors in CHOP, and my child's pediatrician, children should NEVER be in the back of a shopping cart.

Thanks for the support and validation guys. I didn't feel criticized. I was just explaining why someone might tell you something, if they perceive a real danger. It could be something you are unaware of. I certainly was.

yo'ma

Wed, Aug 03 2016, 9:02 am

In response to people saying about all the busybodies, I either never encountered them or I didn't care, I forgot about them already because they didn't leave any impression on me. (or maybe I'm just very forgetful Rolling Eyes

)

carrot

Wed, Aug 03 2016, 11:03 am

Chayalle, thank you for explaining! I will be more aware.

greenfire

Wed, Aug 03 2016, 11:38 am

I've had this happen when I was taking care of someone's kid as well as with my own daughter. The reality is that interference can lose sight of what we are trying to accomplish in controlling tantrum of said other person. WE DON'T NEED YOUR HELP unless you plan to come back home & help raise them !!!

amother

Scarlet

Sun, Aug 07 2016, 11:52 pm

I have one neighbor who gives me constant criticism. Either I am not dressing to flatter my figure or I don't have enough Bitachon or I am not taking good care of my family and so on. She also will deny if she does anything wrong so I stopped answering the phone when she calls.

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