A bit confused about orchos chaim (in Lakewood)

amother

Blue

Sun, Aug 07 2016, 6:16 pm

I am really confused by orchos chaim (boys).

I am center right with maybe a bit of a left leaning (my husband only wears a white shirt except for a Polo when we are on vacation, I while 90% of the time will wear tights, I've nothing against running out without them. I'll wear a fall with about an inch (max) of hair showing and I like wearing colored nails). My kids will watch Disney movies at home, etc...

From my understanding, a big part of the orchos chaim parent body was like that. However, I got the rule book the other day and it is very strongly worded against all of that. Especially calling out against sports, etc...

Which way is it really? Is it that the school just needs to be strong against it but really the parent body is like that, or is the bulk of the parent body more right?

Thank you

EDIT: I am comfortable either which way, I just know my husband is now all nervous and warning me that I have to be careful how I go out or else the school will come down on us.

amother

Seagreen

Sun, Aug 07 2016, 7:11 pm

um a little late for second thoughts

but to your question, I'm not an OC parent, but of all the parents I know only 1 would go out without socks. Sports are followed but kept to a reasonable minimum by the vast most.

OC is a pretty frum school, I'm not sure who told you otherwise. The younger parents are maybe more trendy, but that's because the world has become that way. I don't think most would identify as center left, but more center and to the right.

Worst case scenario, you wont show your kids Disney videos....

Notsobusy

Sun, Aug 07 2016, 7:16 pm

You fit right in with most of the Orchos Chaim parents I know. A lot of the Lakewood schools seem to have rules that are more to the right than their parent body. I've never read Orchos Chaim's handbook, so I'm not speaking about them specifically.

amother

Blue

Sun, Aug 07 2016, 7:19 pm

glutenless wrote:

OP. Thank you. Do you know if these parents go out like that (ie how scared are they of getting seen like that) My husband is now all nervous and warning me that I have to be careful how I go out or else the school will come down on us.

Thanks

Notsobusy

Sun, Aug 07 2016, 8:13 pm

amother wrote:

Colored nails definitely, I'm not sure about the fall with hair in front and no tights. I honestly don't see much of either of those where I live, but I'm also not that observant.

Kids watching Disney movies at home, also definitely.

WhatFor

Sun, Aug 07 2016, 8:18 pm

amother wrote:

OC is a pretty frum school, I'm not sure who told you otherwise.....

How did the OP's post indicate anyone told her otherwise? She sounds pretty frum to me.

debsey

Sun, Aug 07 2016, 8:19 pm

You seem a tiny drop to the left of most of the Orchos Chaim moms that I know. The colored nails, Disney movies, and sometimes wearing socks would all fit in. The fall with an inch of hair showing is not really done so much in Lakewood, even in the "working crowd" schools. Maybe in the JPF schools. I think you'll fit in fine, and I think you'll be very happy with how professionally run the school is.

amother

Cerise

Sun, Aug 07 2016, 8:39 pm

I send there and so do a bunch of our friends and relatives. You sound like you fit right in Smile

ONE of the many nice things about OC is that it really is a big mix. You'll find all types there.

You don't have to be "scared" of them. Mothers..fathers..dress all different types there. They try to promote tznius rules etc. but they really don't make you crazy.

BTW- almost all Lakewood school handbooks have lots of rules and can seem intimidating. I honestly think OC is one of the few schools who don't have "crazy" amount of rules.

Last, welcome to the orchos chaim family-you will LOVE it there!

amother

Beige

Sun, Aug 07 2016, 8:42 pm

Arent most Orchos Chaim fathers, Yeshivish-light, former Kollel learners, who still are Kovea Itim, and mothers Machon/BYA type from very frum homes, who would never leave the house with no socks?

monkey

Sun, Aug 07 2016, 8:47 pm

amother wrote:

Arent most Orchos Chaim fathers, Yeshivish-light, former Kollel learners, who still are Kovea Itim, and mothers Machon/BYA type from very frum homes, who would never leave the house with no socks?

huh?

I send there. I wouldn't exactly describe OC as the above...

Last edited by monkey on Sun, Aug 07 2016, 8:48 pm; edited 1 time in total

UQT

Sun, Aug 07 2016, 8:48 pm

Like my sons rule handbook said, "when near a window feet must remain on the ground. Students caught with feet out the window will be disciplined". They just write things...

amother

Salmon

Sun, Aug 07 2016, 8:53 pm

Op you fit right in. Definitely the older crowd is exactly like you I think with the newer parent body they are trying to get frummer like all schools in Lakewood. The older grades in this school boys are very into sports and will go to games.

If the school will bother you depends on how much money you have and whose pull you used to get in. I know parents that donated a lot of money to school and wife will walk in with a Skirt right above the knee and school won't say anything to her and another mom who dresses very trendy but no money and school really bothers her.

amother

Green

Sun, Aug 07 2016, 8:57 pm

amother wrote:

I work in OC for a while, before the new building, and I never yet saw a mother walk into the school building looking like this.

amother

Cerise

Sun, Aug 07 2016, 9:00 pm

amother wrote:

we don't give large donations and definitely not part of the "wealthy" crowd that sends there but no one ever gave me a hard time. No one ever said anything about my fall...nail polish..skirts etc.

Honestly, I don't think Rabbi Shulman or any of the other day to day principals care or know specifically who gives the big donations.

amother

Green

Sun, Aug 07 2016, 9:30 pm

amother wrote:

Green amother if I say this parents name you would totally agree with me. Also do you work there now or you used to.

Current.

Notsobusy

Sun, Aug 07 2016, 10:08 pm

UQT wrote:

Like my sons rule handbook said, "when near a window feet must remain on the ground. Students caught with feet out the window will be disciplined". They just write things...

What if they're near a window and they jump up and down? Rolling Eyes

. Sounds like the ridiculous "cautions" companies put on their products so they shouldn't get sued. In Lakewood they have ridiculous rules so they shouldn't get a name as "the modern school".

Amarante

Sun, Aug 07 2016, 10:45 pm

UQT wrote:

Like my sons rule handbook said, "when near a window feet must remain on the ground. Students caught with feet out the window will be disciplined". They just write things...

This is very funny. I can't help but think that it was written for one specific incident because I just can't think of any situation in which this rule would be necessary to be put in writing. Were kids sticking their feet out regularly or climbing up the windows dangerously.

Not trying to be funny but I am just trying to imagine why there needed to be a rule specifically to stop a behavior that doesn't seem to be common as it would seem basic common sense would stop most kids from even thinking about doing it in a school setting.

Am I missing something?

amother

Cobalt

Sun, Aug 07 2016, 10:51 pm

amother wrote:

Arent most Orchos Chaim fathers, Yeshivish-light, former Kollel learners, who still are Kovea Itim, and mothers Machon/BYA type from very frum homes, who would never leave the house with no socks?

I have quite a few sons in YOC and have met many parents over the years. I think this is an excellent description of the parent body. Although there are a couple of mothers in each class (mostly big donors) who wear colored nail polish, go out without socks and wear falls with some hair showing, they are definitely not the standard.

monkey

Sun, Aug 07 2016, 11:04 pm

amother wrote:

I just find this description very interesting since OC is known to have such a "mixed" parent body-so I find it peculiar to give it such a "narrow" description.

Just wondering: what is a BYA/Machon type mother?