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Forum
-> Fashion and Beauty
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amother
Black
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 Mon, Feb 06 2017, 9:41 pm
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So this may sound like a weird question but I am asking so honestly. I would never have started this thread but if the pretty girls get a thread then why not us? Seriously, do you think of yourself as ugly compared to others? As you got older, did it get even worse? I always thought I was kind of blah looking but now that I am approaching 50, I think I am downright ugly (k, maybe I am exaggerating slightly and I am just more blah), especially next to others. Please no hate. Just support. And no, I am not posting a pic. Anon for obvious reasons.
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amother
Lawngreen
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Mon, Feb 06 2017, 9:44 pm
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I'm not ugly but not gorgeous either. Somewhere in the middle. Nott everyone can be a model
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amother
Aubergine
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Mon, Feb 06 2017, 10:00 pm
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Yes me. I'm not pretty, I'm very blah. No one in my whole life ever told me I'm pretty. I was so nervous that I'll never get married because who would want me. My dh never ever compliments me on my looks. He admitted to me that he didn't really think I was so pretty, but it was the insides that counts. Oh well, that's life.
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amother
Indigo
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Mon, Feb 06 2017, 10:04 pm
I am ugly compared to my sisters.
It took me years to realize that they were outstandingly beautiful, and I was not bad looking just as long as I was not standing next to them.
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amother
Goldenrod
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Mon, Feb 06 2017, 10:05 pm
I'm definitely in this category. I used to feel pretty face wise in my 20s. Now in my 30s I feel like I lost that too.
My dh tells me I'm beautiful. Which is sweet of him.
I wear makeup everyday and make an effort. But I'm not happy with what I see.
Objectively I think I'm average bordering on unattractive.
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amother
Slateblue
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Mon, Feb 06 2017, 10:10 pm
| amother wrote: | | And no, I am not posting a pic. |
lol. Not sure if that was meant to be funny, but it made me laugh!
I don't think of myself as ugly. I have a pretty face with some flaws and an ok body with some flaws. There are plenty of people prettier than me and plenty of people who probably think I am prettier than them. I have lost my super good looks of my youth. That has been a hard transition because much of my self worth was previously based on the constant feedback I had gotten...In a way, I think confidence comes from a more real/deep place for average or "ugly" people who had to work to really have an inner world.
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Coffee Addict
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Mon, Feb 06 2017, 10:17 pm
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This thread is heartbreaking to read. No human being should ever feel ugly. If you dress up the best you can with makeup etc I'm sure you can all look very good. Be confident. Confidence is beauty.
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MrsDash
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Mon, Feb 06 2017, 10:17 pm
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I don't believe anyone to be ugly.
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MrsDash
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Mon, Feb 06 2017, 10:19 pm
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Love yourselves! You're beautiful, I know you are. Don't let the media or others dictate what defines beauty.
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Laiya
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Mon, Feb 06 2017, 10:23 pm
| MrsDash wrote: | | Love yourselves! You're beautiful, I know you are. Don't let the media or others dictate what defines beauty. |
Was going to post something similar.
Ladies, Hashem made each of you beautiful, with a special chein.
How would you feel if you heard your daughter speaking this way about herself? Please show yourself the same love you'd show your daughter.
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sequoia
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Mon, Feb 06 2017, 10:27 pm
I'm not pretty.
But I could be!
I just need yoga, pilates, swimming, physical therapy, spa, massage, facial, mani-pedi, haircut, highlights, paleo diet, green smoothies, skin care, makeup, and a new wardrobe.
You know, all the stuff that everyone else takes for granted!
There's nothing inherently hideous about me. And yet, I am invisible.
Last edited by sequoia on Mon, Feb 06 2017, 10:57 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Coral
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Mon, Feb 06 2017, 10:34 pm
"There are no ugly women in the world only lazy ones."
Don't recall where I read this but if you make the effort to make yourself beautiful you will be beautiful !
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amother
Denim
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Mon, Feb 06 2017, 10:47 pm
I heard a very frum no makeup mom answer this to someone at a performance when she was told her daughter is beautiful, "the frum must be born beautiful cuz the other ones make themselves beautiful."
Also heard that boys must be born beautiful cuz girls can make themselves....
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mommy3b2c
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Tue, Feb 07 2017, 12:16 am
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Ladies please! G-d does not make any ugly people!
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amother
Pearl
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Tue, Feb 07 2017, 12:36 am
I'm in the plain/ugly category too. I think my eyes are nice looking, but that is about it  Truth is some people look better than others; I think most people has some nice physical features, but people have value in ways other than looks and I think it's ok for a person to recognize that they are not that beautiful, but it doesn't make them less of a person.
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happyone
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Tue, Feb 07 2017, 1:08 am
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Makep, nice clothes, some funky jewelry and a manicure may help you feel better about yourself. I don't believe any of you are really ugly, it's your self esteem that needs a face lift!
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jade
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Tue, Feb 07 2017, 2:14 am
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I am fairly plain. And I don't really see it as a sign of low self-esteem that I think that, nor do I feel like anyone needs to feel sorry for me. It's just kind of... a fact. I have eyes, I can tell. I don't get the need to say, everyone is beautiful. Everyone clearly isn't, at least if we're talking about physical beauty, which we are in this thread. It's ok not to be beautiful, just like it's ok not to have a great singing voice or whatever.
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chanchy123
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Tue, Feb 07 2017, 3:17 am
I don't think I'm ugly, I always think I'm nice looking when I look at the mirror, but I do understand the feeling of not being beautiful. Because although to DH I'm beautiful and to myself I look just fine in the mirror, when I look at pictures I understand that I'm average, nothing super special.
I'd say it's best to accentuate your best features - because everyone has some really good features, but I can't always be bothered to do it. I do try to buy clothes and head coverings that look nice, but I can't be bothered with makeup or jewelry most times. If it were really important to me I would invest in that and I do try to make an effort for special occasions.
I know it's a cliche to say that personality is most important. But it's true. Yes, a woman who is stunning will make an impression of beauty on everyone. But a woman who is confident and fun and kind will make an impression on everyone and people will notice her and love her for her personality not even noticing what she looks like. It's obviously not the same as being stunning - but no one will think of someone as "oh that ugly woman" they will think of her as that great friend, or super creative woman and not even notice any physical imperfections.
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chanchy123
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Tue, Feb 07 2017, 3:30 am
| amother wrote: | "There are no ugly women in the world only lazy ones."
Don't recall where I read this but if you make the effort to make yourself beautiful you will be beautiful ! |
That's really terrible. I'm sorry - I honestly think that I can spend my time on more important things than grooming myself. That's not a message I'd ever want to convey to anyone even if it is true.
I think it is better to be happy with who you are, to accept yourself, and spend a reasonable amount of time and money to make yourself happy - but seriously keep your priorities straight. It is important to be a good person, focus on your middot.
Of course Hashem created ugly people and beautiful people - and most of us fit somewhere in the middle and are average. If there were no ugly people than being beautiful would be meaningless. But I do believe that everyone has some nice features they can work to accentuate to look better and that personality is really more important than looks. Looks can only take you so far.
Just like some people are more intelligent than others, some people are more musical than others, some people are more coordinated than others and some people are taller than others.
These are all characteristics we were born with. Some of these things can be worked on and improved as one grows, others cannot. That's a fact of life. But middot are in our hands to improve - and realistically they are what leave a lasting impression and have the most affect on relationships. Looks can open doors for you - like intelligence or other genetic features but that's as far as they will take you.
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ora_43
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Tue, Feb 07 2017, 3:37 am
Am I the only one reminded of Garrison Keiller?
Imamother - where all the women are above average  .
Seriously, of course there are average-looking (and below-average-looking) women out there, that's how the definition of "average" works.
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