matching outfits for many children

amother

Mon, Oct 01 2007, 9:25 pm

We live in New Jersey. School for each child is over $10,000/year. That's at a "standard" Orthodox school. We live in a house that's almost a mile from shul, which makes it a bit less expensive than other houses, but it's still the tri-state area and expensive. Most people we know are in the same situation financially. It is difficult--not impossible--but difficult to save anything, let alone buy matching outfits for everyone every season.

greenfire

Mon, Oct 01 2007, 9:32 pm

I could barely do handymedowns ... my oldest was petite ... second a boy... third ultra petite ... and 4th reg (although I put my sons stuff on her - the sporty stuff) ... sometimes it just doesn't work out ...

shlumzmum

Mon, Oct 01 2007, 9:34 pm

ijust spoke to my cousin today who always matches her children on chol hamoed. she told me that the main reason she does it is because when she goes to a big park or to the rides, its much easier for her to find and recognize her children when they are dressed in matching outfits, she doesnt spend too much on them and they only wear these outfits when tey go out togehter. she has 6 children ka"h and mathces the 5 older ones, the 6th is a newborn baby.
they wore such cute outfits today, the top was 10 dollar each.

amother

Mon, Oct 01 2007, 9:41 pm

OP here. I have to say that this forum is fantastic. When we were at Van Saun park on Sunday and I saw all the matching outfits, I told my husband -- I'm going to post a question on imamother about this and see what people say.

I was thinking it would be fun to have an imamother t-shirt or something. I bet there were many other imamother members there with me, but I didn't know.

miri123

Mon, Oct 01 2007, 11:03 pm

OK, I'm giving my two cents...
The outcome of matching clothes: the other day I saw a little girl on Kingston Ave ( mind you, now it is very, very crowded) next to ride outside the cleaners crying, I kept walking ( I thought the man close to her was her father) half a block down the street I saw another little girl dressed the same way MATCHING dresses and I asked the two women next to her if this was anyone of them dd, and guest what neither of them was her mother so I told them I found another little girl crying so one of them approached the girl and asked abt her mother... a few minutes later I saw the mother who I actually saw her passing me to retrieve her dd. B"H nothing happened but the matching outfits would have helped to prevent any mishap.
And now... I have two ds and a dd this Tishrei she got one outfit and my boys got two each but guest what my DH found the outfits at CONWAY on Kings Highwy for $7.99 each, THREE piece outfit, pants, vest and coordinating polo tshirt 100% cotton, washed beautiful.
Matching is really cute, but they don't match ALL the time and yes my younger one wears hand me downs.
ANd abt Conway... they have many of the same brands you find in Macys and Lord & Taylor and TArget for a fraction of the price.
A gut Yom Tov to all Imas

amother

Mon, Oct 01 2007, 11:18 pm

I certainly don't match my kids all the time, even my oldest child wears hand-me-downs most days. I did have a little money this yom tov to get my kids some new clothes, so I got matching ones. I only have two children so far, so it isn't very expensive, although I suppose I did spend more than if I wasn't trying to match them. My older child really needed some new weekday things, while the younger didn't with all the hand-me-downs from the older, so I bought two outfits that I probably wouldn't have if I weren't trying to match them. So that's some simchas yom tov for Mommy. KA"H they look so cute! Maybe when I have more kids, IY"H, and I cant afford to get everyone matching complete outfits, I will just get matching tops to go with simple separates, like dark skirts or pants. It's still cute and fun for Mom, but it shouldn't cost too much.

Oh, one day when my kids were wearing their matching outfits, I lost one in shul. I asked some people to help me find him, and it was so easy to just say that he was wearing the same thing as my other child and he was quickly located.

greenfire

Mon, Oct 01 2007, 11:30 pm

chanab wrote:

The issue I have with matching is that I think children reach a certain age where they should be choosing their own clothes to wear each day.

also having their own identity and style ... especially when older ...

Chani

Mon, Oct 01 2007, 11:49 pm

I don't go out of my way to do matching outfits although occasionally I'll buy two of something cute...Other than yom tov/special occasion I don't dress them alike EVER.

What is funny, though, is that sometimes the twins ON THEIR OWN will go change from different clothing into matching stuff because they want to match, not because any of us said anything at all to them!

shoshb

Tue, Oct 02 2007, 8:35 am

I happen to think it's cute, although my kids don't want to match any more. I also don't care how people choose to spend their money, (as long as they're not asking me to pay for it!!!)

I think the question, though, is: Has this become another thing that frum people HAVE TO do, in order to fit in? Are people who really CAN"T afford it, feeling pressured to shop this way, for fear they won't be accepted, or their kids won't get shidduchim, or whatever?

It's expensive enough to be frum, between kosher food, tuition, living in frum nighborhoods, yom tov, etc, that we shouldn't be adding more "necessities", as there are many who really can't keep up.

GAMZu

Tue, Oct 02 2007, 9:27 am

Quote:

I think the question, though, is: Has this become another thing that frum people HAVE TO do, in order to fit in? Are people who really CAN"T afford it, feeling pressured to shop this way, for fear they won't be accepted, or their kids won't get shidduchim, or whatever?

I think that's the main point.

greenfire

Tue, Oct 02 2007, 9:33 am

GAMZu wrote:

Quote:

I think that's the main point.

yup ... that is the new shaddchen question ... "hust du g'matched the kinderlach?!" Nervous

GAMZu

Tue, Oct 02 2007, 9:37 am

another point- I also like the fact that it's easy to locate your kids if they match.

But I see girls going to day camp on their own, ages 8-12, and matching.

What purpose does that serve? I think it's MUCH cuter on little kids.

mummiedearest

Tue, Oct 02 2007, 9:43 am

if you're worried about finding your kids, why not just have them wear matching baseball caps? those aren't outgrown as quickly and can easily be hand-me-downs. I've never thought of the matching outfits epidemic as a social necessity. if you think it's cute and can do it, fine. no one will ask about it for shidduchim, and if they do, you don't want to have anything to do with them anyway. I think we are too sensitive to the shidduchim question.

GAMZu

Tue, Oct 02 2007, 10:09 am

Baseball caps?? I get my kids nice, plain summer hats. Either wide brims or kasket/dashik style. And in plain white or beige, light blue. Nothing that jumps out at you like a red baseball cap with a huge yankees symbol.
Besides, kids throw off caps.

OK, a shadchan won't ask, but it's like an excepted norm in BP. All heimish people do that type of thing. I even saw a non jewish lady comment on another forum that matching clothes is part of the Jewish religion.

amother

Tue, Oct 02 2007, 10:46 am

Why are we creating an issue that is not there? No one is forcing you to match your kids and no one cares. If you do great if you don't great. Why make an issue out of nothing. Some pple like it and some pple don't. Why can't we just let pple. live?