What's up with him?

amother

Purple

Wed, Jan 03 2018, 7:35 pm

This is the first time I'm actually trying to express this so it might be a bit confusing. My ds, 8, has been going through these cycles since he started school, about 5 years ago. He is usually a great kid, high energy but focuses it well, loves to help out, loves to ready, play with friends and is in general very calm.

However, every few months he goes through a period that can last anywhere from 6 weeks to a couple months when he is extremely unsettled. He can't sit still at all, even for a second. When reading a book he's constantly shaking his leg, he can barely sit at the table when he eats and I have to actually nudge him onto his chair. He cannot stay still at all. He gets really wild, and plays really wild. He loves playing with his 2 year old sibling but during these times he'll play by throwing a blanket over her head and running away, or jumping out from a corning shrieking, all REALLY loudly. He wrestles all day with another younger sibling and if I leave them alone the younger sibling will always end up getting hurt, even though older DS had no intention of actually hurting him. He needs constant physical tough and keeps trying to sit on my lap or walk next to me snuggling tightly. (I am extremely non-physical and even though I push myself to let him, I keep finding myself squirming away from him or finding an excuse to move.) I don't mind the running around, its the total unsettledness and wildness that I can't handle. Also, it is always accompanied by complaining about kids in school, sometimes a specific kid sometimes random kids changing by the day. He has repeatedly had his seat switched and the teachers looking out for him but no teacher has ever seen anything and he really has tons of friends. Kids call to play with him and when I come in to pick up the younger kids from school he is always right in the middle of a good game.

These periods are clearly defined. I can almost tell when we wake up one day and I'm like, okay its starting again. After a few weeks, we return to normal almost overnight.

He's in the middle of such a period now and as it goes on I lose more and more patience with him, even though I usually am extremely patient. Also, we really don't want to talk to the teacher about the kid bothering him this time because I'm not sure what causes what (maybe when he's in such a mood he's over-sensitive and perceiving issues that aren't there) and I already had his seat switched his year due to a different kid bothering him. This is Israel and if I keep mentioning kids bothering him, the teacher is going to look at him as a problem child.

What could this be??

amother

Purple

Thu, Jan 04 2018, 3:15 am

It doesn't seem to have anything to do with anyone's illness, B'H our extended family is pretty healthy and no one is getting sick often.

We don't have a family history of bipolar, although we have close relatives who definitely have some sort of mental unhealthiness and it is very possible that this DS has anxiety.

I'm pretty sure its not a specific food. I can't think of anything he eats only a few times a year that could trigger it.

Thanks for all these suggestions!

FranticFrummie

Thu, Jan 04 2018, 3:32 am

This is going to sound odd, but during these episodes, does he eat a lot more than usual, or "always hungry"? Do you notice his clothes are getting too small afterwards?

It could very well be a growth spurt. My DD was a lovely child, but during growth spurts she turned into an absolute maniac. As soon as it passed, she was right back to being sweet and cooperative.

DD pushed all my buttons, fought every boundary and rule, and basically tried to control the house. Oh, and she also had the really negative perceptions, too.

The best thing you can do for your DS, is to be gentle, firm, and consistent. He needs to know that you are the grownup in charge, and that you will be his rock during the stormy times. He may hate you for it in the moment, but the emotional safety will be worth it in the long run.

One thing that helped me stay calm, was instead of yelling, I would lower my voice and make it a monotone. It felt weird at first, but after a while it became second nature every time DD started up with me. It calms us both down when the craziness hits. (Don't even get me started on when her period is due! It's like dealing with the Terrible Twos all over again.)

For restless legs, try Hylands homeopathic "Leg Cramp" tablets. They work great.

amother

Gold

Thu, Jan 04 2018, 6:58 am

amother wrote:

It doesn't have to be Bipolar. You say there's possible anxiety. Would you consider checking this out with a psychiatrist?

amother

Purple

Thu, Jan 04 2018, 1:22 pm

We did test for PANDAS but it was negative.

Also, he went to a play therapist for a while because he asked me to find someone who could help him with his bad dreams, basically anxiety. He went to her and we stopped at a time when he was doing really, really well, was such a pleasure to be with, and he agreed that he was ready to stop.

FF, you might have got it. I'm not sure that he's eating extra but until I can figure out what it is that is causing it, I'm going to try to have in mind that it is a growth spurt. Then at least I can stop getting so annoyed and try to just wait it out.

amother

Teal

Thu, Jan 04 2018, 5:10 pm

amother wrote:

There really is no such thing as testing negative for pandas, because pandas is not diagnosed based on a blood test. It is always a clinical diagnosis. Blood tests can help in determining what is going on with the immune system, or which infection is triggering it, but it will never rule pandas in or out. What does rule it in or out is behavioral symptoms. I think that the fact that your son's behavior is cyclical points very strongly to an infectious trigger. Lyme disease and parasitic infections are especially known for their cycles. Relapsing and remitting behavior is also a strong indication for pans/pandas, because "typical" adhd is constant, it doesn't come and go. PS: There are many kids diagnosed with bipolar who later found out they had pans or pandas and were cured with treatment for pans. The psych meds never worked for them, obviously.

amother

Purple

Thu, Jan 04 2018, 7:06 pm

First of all, how would do they check for pans if not for a blood test? I was at the doctor with him and she ruled it out.

Second of all, its a long story, but because the symptoms started right after he began school, we suspected trauma or abuse and met with a professional. She immediately told us horror stories and decided that he was definitely abused. In order to get him away from it she said the best idea is if we moved. We spoke with a few other professionals and people who could help and none of them would deny it was possible and all agreed he could not go back to school. In the end, we moved. In the new place, he was evaluated and had therapy for a year but no one could ever confirm he was definitely abused. We still think that year of school might have been traumatic for him but we really have no evidence of abuse and therefore I'm trying to find something else to attribute everything to. It still is possible something happened to set this off but for now I can't really get to the bottom of that.

unexpected

Thu, Jan 04 2018, 8:05 pm

Op, I have no idea what could be going on with your child but I just want to say that I am so amazed that you actually picked up your family and moved in order to help your child when you could so easily have said that the therapist had no idea what she was talking about etc. and I also want to tell you that I have seen children growing up with seriously complicated "stuff" but when they saw that their parents were willing to literally move mountains for them they found the strength to go ahead and build beautiful lives. I am sure that the power of your love will help your children tremendously now and in the future!

amother

Teal

Thu, Jan 04 2018, 8:39 pm

amother wrote:

Unfortunately, most doctors have no idea how to diagnose pandas, let alone treat it. There is a way you can test for it at home. During a flare (when he is symptomatic) give him full doses of ibuprofen around the clock for several days and see if symptoms subside. The reason this works is because in pans/pandas, the neuro symptoms are due to inflammation in the brain, and ibuprofen is an anti-inflammatory. But once again, even if this test fails, it does not mean your child doesn't have pandas.

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, Jan 04 2018, 9:02 pm

amother wrote:

Second of all, its a long story, but because the symptoms started right after he began school, we suspected trauma or abuse and met with a professional. She immediately told us horror stories and decided that he was definitely abused. In order to get him away from it she said the best idea is if we moved. We spoke with a few other professionals and people who could help and none of them would deny it was possible and all agreed he could not go back to school. In the end, we moved. In the new place, he was evaluated and had therapy for a year but no one could ever confirm he was definitely abused. We still think that year of might have been traumatic for him but we really have no evidence of abuse and therefore I'm trying to find something else to attribute everything to. It still is possible something happened to set this off but for now I can't really get to the bottom of that.

Good for you that you moved and took it seriously. I am concerned that perhaps the therapist your son saw was not competent. Especially with children that the abuse is in the past, the dissociation can be very strong. (just google trauma and dissociation if you are unfamiliar with that). You need a therapist that knows how to integrate the child/undo the dissociation, otherwise you will get absolutely nowhere. Unfortunately, not enough therapists trained in trauma have this piece of training.