Why would he do this?

weasley

Sun, Feb 18 2018, 4:07 am

So a little bit of background: I was brought up in a very yeshivish home but from a young age I could see that my parents hashkofos on things were quite different. My mother had the entire say in giving over her views to the kids and my father always kept quiet but as we grew older we knew more and more how he never kept the values my mother wanted us to have. No Internet was a biggy for my mother and til today she doesn't know that my father has access in her very home. He's on his laptop ALL day.

So I used to have a instagram account with a random username just to follow friends and families pictures. I myself had never posted anything. I stopped using it a couple months back and my phone is now blocked to instagram.

I recently received an email from instagram saying my username on my account account as been changed to *** - which is a name my father has said to me in passing he uses for his Facebook account. A day later I received another email saying I had changed the email address on my instagram account to ***@gmail.com.

There is the option for me to click on 'this was not me' but my phone gets blocked to the link. I am planning to get it unblocked so I can do that.

BUT my question is can any of you think of why my father would do that? What would be in it for him to gain access to my instagram account? And could this be a mistake on his part? As there is a chance I signed in on his laptop when I was home last (around a yr ago)

Eta spelling

weasley

Sun, Feb 18 2018, 4:56 am

LisaS wrote:

Do you have an open relationship with your father? You should ask him directly whether it was him, and whether he plans to use your account?

I do and I'm very close to him.

I'm trying to work out why I'm so hesitant to do that?

It could be because as I was growing up I felt extremely deceived finding out he had Facebook etc whilst he hid from me that he had Internet and made as if he was against it. (He only shared more with us as we got older and he was sure we would keep it from my mother) so for me the whole subject causes me a lot of pain and even when he mentions it to me I'm very uncomfortable about the entire topic.

Side note- I'm not against having Internet and Facebook at all. It's the dynamics that upsets me.

LisaS

Sun, Feb 18 2018, 6:37 am

I hear you. It's a can of worms you may not want to open. You can forget about it and assume there's nothing the matter - He just thought it convenient to use or existing account.

But there is nothing wrong with asking - it's legit to wonder about someone changing details of your account.

HappyGoLucky1

Sun, Feb 18 2018, 10:43 am

I'm confused. Why does he have your login info? Why can't you just make a new account? And why can't you just ask him straight out? You're an adult!
In his defense, maybe he is working on himself and it's his way of taking a step away or showing you maybe he doesn't want you to follow his ways?
Either way, just ask him!

weasley

Sun, Feb 18 2018, 11:15 am

HappyGoLucky1 wrote:

He probably has my login because I logged in on his laptop last time I was there. It could be I never signed out.

As I wrote earlier I'm hesitant to speak to him bc it's a painful topic to me. Pain affects me even as an adult.

Eta if he didn't want me to have it he would have closed it - he's changed it so that he has access.