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Purim is so depressing
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amother




Linen


Post  Wed, Feb 28 2018, 12:30 pm
water girl I should probably make this a spin off but I've noticed it also. My dh doesn't like it. He thinks going to someone shows that you value them much more and is more what the mitzvah is intended as then just returning a package or having a "booth" of food when they come to you. We were having whole conversation about it.

I think a big part of it is that fact that people are expected to go to their kids teachers so that ends up being their running around and there's a limit to what you can do... don't know what the answer is.
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tichellady




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Feb 28 2018, 12:31 pm
watergirl wrote:
I’ve noticed a trend that more and more people dont deliver anymore. Or they just do their kids mm and will reciprocate to people who come to them. I’ve heard over and over again “purim isnt about making myself crazy so I dont go out anymore, people can come to me”. I’ve also noticed people making ice cream buffets or bbq or popcorn/cotton candy buffet type set ups and giving to people who come to them only. Seems to miss the mark even though I understand their logic.


Why is this missing the mark? You don’t need to give many mm to fulfill the mitzvah!
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amother




Ivory


Post  Wed, Feb 28 2018, 12:43 pm
It's a snobby block, they ignore me and look down their noses at me. The people that don't deliver to me, the ones I go to, deliver to many people right near me. So they do go out and they are right near my house. Like I said less than five people delivering would make a difference. We get zero.
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amother




Peach


Post  Wed, Feb 28 2018, 12:50 pm
amother wrote:
It's a snobby block, they ignore me and look down their noses at me. The people that don't deliver to me, the ones I go to, deliver to many people right near me. So they do go out and they are right near my house. Like I said less than five people delivering would make a difference. We get zero.


That is very hurtful and hard. Not just because of purim, but because of all the time. I once lived in a very snobby area, and it really affects a person's overall mental health. Even if you know it's them, not you. Sad
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watergirl




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Feb 28 2018, 1:16 pm
tichellady wrote:
Why is this missing the mark? You don’t need to give many mm to fulfill the mitzvah!

Point is, the attitude of “let them come to me” is missing it. Not even going to deliver one?
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DVOM




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Feb 28 2018, 1:20 pm
Thinking about you feeling lonely and ignored on Purim of all days is making my heart ache.

You know what I would do? Pick two neighbors on the block, the least snobby of the bunch. Make them really nice shalach manot. March yourself over there Purim day and say baldly: "Hi neighbor! Here is some shalach manot for you! I know we don't know each other very well, but I live right down the block, and I wanted to get to know you better, so here I am! I can be lonely not knowing too many people in the neighborhood, but you seem really nice, so I thought I'd break the ice with this shalach manot." Follow up with an invitation to a shabbat meal, or to come over with the kids shabbat morning after the men go to shul. Kill them with relentless kindness. I've found that snobs are often kind but insecure women in disguise, genuine friend potential hiding behind a really perfect wig and killer heels. Maybe next Purim things will be different.
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InnerMe




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Feb 28 2018, 1:38 pm
DVOM your posts are so beautiful and caring.
I agree that snobs are often insecure, and feel the need to put up that stoic front, because they are simply afraid to open up and be themselves.
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livinginflatbus




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Feb 28 2018, 2:06 pm
If u live in Brooklyn I too would love to give you
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watergirl




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Feb 28 2018, 2:10 pm
amother wrote:
It's a snobby block, they ignore me and look down their noses at me. The people that don't deliver to me, the ones I go to, deliver to many people right near me. So they do go out and they are right near my house. Like I said less than five people delivering would make a difference. We get zero.

I’m so sorry, I know how painful that is. I’ve been there. People are so stuck with their comfort zone and chevra, they dont even notice who they may be hurting and who they are missing out on.
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amother




Ivory


Post  Wed, Feb 28 2018, 2:14 pm
Thanks for all the sweet offers but I don't live in brooklyn or lakewood
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InnerMe




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Feb 28 2018, 2:27 pm
Ok, at least here you have a virtual mishloach manos filled with hugs and warmth and best wishes for an @ least somewhat joyful Purim. And sorry Imas if your jealous... I only made one fancy mishloach manos for OP.

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enneamom




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Feb 28 2018, 2:39 pm
Next year, maybe we can petition Yael to set up an Ima Mishloach Manos service? So we can send to our Ima friends.
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amother




Aquamarine


Post  Wed, Feb 28 2018, 2:53 pm
enneamom wrote:
Next year, maybe we can petition Yael to set up an Ima Mishloach Manos service? So we can send to our Ima friends.

I'm part of a Facebook group that does this. If you want to participate, you fill out a Google form. And not only do you give your address and food preferences/allergies, you even have space to name special interests so someone can tailor a theme just for you. It's a lot of fun.
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amother




Cerise


Post  Wed, Feb 28 2018, 4:51 pm
Do you live in Baltimore?
I'd love to come and give you!
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amother




Silver


Post  Wed, Feb 28 2018, 4:57 pm
Where do you live? Maybe one of us lives in the area and wants to meet a new friend!! We are always looking to meet new people. I know how hard it is to move. It’s hard to break the ice as there seems to be “set groups” or 5th grade cliques already made. I wouldn’t give out of pity but to meet you and hopefully make a friend!!
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perquacky




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Feb 28 2018, 5:02 pm
Please let us know where you live! I'm always looking to make new friends. I know you can't be on my block because it's a cul du sac with only two other frum families, but you could be in my neighborhood, and I'd love to meet you and your kids. Are you in the NYC area?
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OutATowner




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Feb 28 2018, 5:16 pm
Come to me for Purim! Seriously. We are a warm friendly community that loves guests. PM to find out if I'm near you. Hope to hear from you!
Edited to ask: why did I get a hug? Just curious.


Last edited by OutATowner on Wed, Feb 28 2018, 5:30 pm; edited 1 time in total
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peacock




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Feb 28 2018, 5:29 pm
Do u live in Monsey?
I m experiencing same thing.
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thunderstorm




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Feb 28 2018, 6:29 pm
peacock wrote:
Do u live in Monsey?
I m experiencing same thing.

I live in Monsey . We have one Jewish neighbor who gave us two yrs ago. That's it. I was home all day preparing for guests so didn't have time to dwell on it. The next year I didn't want to feel so lonely about not receiving from neighbors so I went away to family in Far Rockaway instead. We got back late at night. There was not one shalach manos left at our door. Not from friends, relatives or neighbors.
This year I'm hosting again, just so that I won't feel lonely and I have people knocking at my door. I don't need shalach manos, but I'd love to see a smiling face, a costume , something, coming to my door. This way by inviting over 25 family members for the meal, I'm guaranteed to have someone join us in our simchas Purim.
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peacock




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Feb 28 2018, 6:48 pm
At least you have 25 family members!!!

Amazing you are hosting such huge seuda!!
Beautiful!!
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