Tips on weaning off from pacifier

amother

Khaki

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 8:52 am

I'm trying to learn my 4 year old dd to sleep without a tutti/pacifier. We made a sticker chart and she choose a nice present she wants. She put the tuttis in the garbage (I took it out when she didn't see, just in case)
Any tips that can help her stick to it. And make it easier to fall asleep without it?

Last edited by amother on Thu, Nov 08 2018, 4:48 am; edited 2 times in total

pesek zman

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 8:54 am

Don't take them out of the garbage! There's no just in case. She'll follow your lead: if you're confident and strong she will be too.

Cold turkey is the way to go.

mha3484

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 9:08 am

Play up how wonderful it is to be a big girl. All the fun things we can do etc. How babies use a paci but we are so big yay for us. I find doing that helps a lot of different transitions with my 3 year old.

amother

Khaki

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 9:39 am

Thanks pesekzman. You're right.
And thanks mha3484, I'll try to talk a lot about it. We talked already but will try to talk some more.
She just asked me how come her cousin still has a tutti Rolling Eyes

Last edited by amother on Thu, Nov 08 2018, 4:48 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Jade

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 9:53 am

I made a party for my 3 year old's birthday but you could probably do it now. We made a big deal of getting rid of the pacifier because she is a big girl. We think we gave hers to her younger cousin as a symbol of you'll all done. It's for younger kids...

you might want to change your title to pacifier instead of tutti because honestly I had no clue what you were referring to.

Ruchel

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 11:18 am

Google paci tree!

FranticFrummie

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 11:31 am

OK, I'm dying to know. OP, where do you live that tutti is the name for a paci?

I know in England they call it a dummy, which sounds weird to me.

DD made up names for things that she couldn't say properly, so she called hers a "smiz". (Cheerios were "mee-mees". She had her own language for a while.)

amother

Navy

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 11:34 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

It's Tzutzi in hebrew, haven't heard of tutti

pesek zman

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 11:38 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

My husband's British and we think dummy is the perfect name for it. (We don't believe in pacis and never offered one) we don't think any baby/toddler has ever looked or sounded smart with a paci in their mouth!

amother

Khaki

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 11:40 am

Hahahahaha I hv know it as tutti all my life. Dunno. Maybe it's the place I come from Compress

Last edited by amother on Thu, Nov 08 2018, 4:49 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Khaki

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 11:42 am

amother wrote:

you might want to change your title to pacifier instead of tutti because honestly I had no clue what you were referring to.

I'll do that

Last edited by amother on Thu, Nov 08 2018, 4:49 am; edited 1 time in total

FranticFrummie

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 11:43 am

mama24 wrote:

Hahahahaha I hv know it as tutti all my life. Dunno. Maybe it's the place I come from Compress

So tell us where you're from already! It's not like we're going to pinpoint your house from here. Even the name of the country would be helpful.

My money is on Italy. Tutti sounds like a fancy Italian dessert, possibly made with ice cream. Very Happy

Zehava

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 11:50 am

Cold turkey. There was no other way for me. As long as there was even one in the house someone would cave to his screaming. Two nights and he was fine.

Zehava

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 11:52 am

It’s tutti in Belgium btw

amother

Khaki

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 11:54 am

.

Last edited by amother on Thu, Nov 08 2018, 4:49 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Papaya

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 11:55 am

Never had this problem as none of my kids ever used pacifiers. I saw this really cute story on Quora though and thought this might help!! (source: https://www.quora.com/My-daugh.....hardt)

When my youngest son was little, he absolutely loved his dummy. (That’s what we call pacifiers here in Australia. The name is important to the story, so bear with me.) When he turned three, his daycare mum mentioned that he was very dependent upon it when he was angry, hurt, or tired.

Now, I didn’t really have an issue with him having his dummy while he slept. He was only three. I figured he’d eventually grow out of it. But he was really a bit old to need to suck on a dummy if he fell over while climbing on the equipment at the playground.

But breaking him of the habit seemed an impossibility. I tried all my usual methods, but nothing stuck. And simply depriving him of a dummy when he wanted one would lead to hours of crying.

I tried to get him to go to sleep without a dummy. Once. He literally cried for five hours. Five. Freaking. Hours. Eventually, he fell into a restless sleep, only to wake up—and immediately start crying again—an hour later.

That was the point I gave in.

Possibly I could have continued to wait him out, but it was clearly causing him a great deal of trauma, and I wasn’t doing much better. (Nor was his big brother, who was kept awake throughout the whole process.)

And so I invented the story-based method that worked for us. After three weeks, my boy was dummy-free.

(I’ve written about it before, but will try not to completely plagiarise myself.)

The Invention of Dummy Day

Day 1:

At bedtime, just before reading a story, I asked my sons if they’d ever heard of Dummy Day. (They hadn’t, of course, since I’d just made it up.) “Oh!” I said. “Dummy Day is a wonderful day where all the children who are old enough not to need a dummy anymore can take their old dummies to a toy shop. On that day, every toy costs exactly one dummy.” And then I read them a story and put them to bed.

Day 2:

Prior to reading the boys a book, I told a little story about a boy who went shopping on Dummy Day and bought a wonderful new teddy bear, and all the adventures he and his teddy got up to.

Days 3–5:

Every night, I told a little story about Dummy Day.

Day 6:

Again, I told a little story about Dummy Day. By this point, my three-year-old was hanging on every word. When the story finished, he asked me how long it was until Dummy Day.

“Um…” I said. “Actually, it’s in two weeks.”

My son thought about that a bit, then popped his dummy into his mouth, curled up, and went to sleep.

Day 7

The very first thing my son asked me that morning was how long it was until Dummy Day. “Thirteen days,” I said. That night I told him another Dummy Day story.

Days 8–14

Each day, my son asked me how many days. Each day, I continued counting down. I didn’t at any point suggest he should give up his dummy. I didn’t make it about him at all. I just told him stories about Dummy Day every night.

Day 15

I ended our usual Dummy Day story with: “And from that day on, everyone who saw the boy knew he wasn’t a Little Boy anymore, he was a Big Boy, because only Big Boys go to Dummy Day.”

Day 16

First thing in the morning, my son came up to me, his dummy in his hand. “Mummy,” he said, “I think I’m big enough for Dummy Day now. Can you take me to the toy shop?”

“Oh, Sweetie,” I said. “I’m afraid Dummy Day only happens once a year. You’ll have to wait another six days.”

Days 17–20

Every day, he asked me if it was Dummy Day yet. Every day, I gave him the countdown. I kept telling him stories at bedtime—ending by talking about the boy in the story being a Big Boy now—but didn’t make it about him at all.

I noticed, however, that he was slowly weaning himself off his dummy, trying really hard not to use it. By the 20th day, he slept with it in his hand.

Day 21

When I told him Dummy Day was the next day, my boy was beside himself with excitement. He was so excited, he could barely sleep. “Mummy, can you pleeeeeease take me to Dummy Day tomorrow?” he asked over and over. “Pleeeeeeease?”

“Mmm…. If you’re sure you’re ready for it…”

“I am! I want to be a Big Boy!”

Day 22

On the morning of Dummy Day, my son woke up early and came running to wake me up. We all got dressed, and he gathered all the dummies he could find (only two—I’d been quietly disposing of them as I found them in the lead-up), and off we went to the toy shop.

He was so excited.

While he was looking at all the options in the store, I had a quiet word with the ladies at the counter, and gave them my credit card in preparation.

Meanwhile, my son chose to use his dummies to buy two small remote control cars—one for him, one for his brother.

When we got to the counter, my son handed over his two dummies. The ladies took them and put them into the rubbish, and then charged my card.

That night, my son started to ask for his dummy…. and then stopped. He reminded me that he’s a Big Boy now because he’d been to Dummy Day.

“Yes, you are,” I said. “Yes, you are.”

And that was my story-based method for getting him to choose to get rid of his dummy. There was no drama, no tears, and no tantrums. I didn’t have to listen to him cry. There was no clash of wills. It was a rite of passage that involved both of us learning how to grow up.

amother

Khaki

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 12:01 pm

She's making me really crazy. She can't fall asleep (trying 1,5 h)
I guess it's normal. It was her idea to put away the pacifier, so I feel she is ready. Just hope she won't b awake for hours. I don't wanto back off put don't wanto be awake till early morning (she's a real fighter, no matter how tired she is she can stay awake for hours)

Last edited by amother on Thu, Nov 08 2018, 4:50 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Khaki

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 12:07 pm

Amother papaya I love your idea. I'm sure keeping it in back of my mind. Right now I don't wanto back off. But will use it if it doesn't work.

Last edited by amother on Thu, Nov 08 2018, 4:50 am; edited 1 time in total

keym

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 12:27 pm

Dummy Day is genius. I need to hold onto that one when my 1 yr old gets older.

We buy a special No Paci cuddly toy like a teddy and a special No Paci CD. When we throw the paci in the garbage we use the cuddly toy and CD to soothe.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 12:44 pm

mama24 wrote:

Does she only use it at night, or during the day too?

If she uses it during the day, you can make a deal with her that she can have it at night, but not for the day, not even naps.

I think Dummy Day is brilliant, and that parent should get an award. A book based on that could sell millions!

Nanny Jo does something similar, with the Dummy Fairy. She has a sparkly bag that you put all the dummies in, and you hang it outside the front door at night. Put the child to bed, and then QUICKLY toss the dummies in the trash, out of sight. Put a nice toy in the bag, and hang it on the door.

The child will be crying and begging for the dummy, of course. They will come downstairs and try to get out the front door. They will throw a major tantrum until you open the door for them. Then they will see that the dummies aren't in the bag anymore, but there is a new toy instead!