Too much cleaning help?? Can’t figure how to manage without

amother

Bisque

Mon, Apr 09 2018, 7:07 pm

Ok so please no bashing. I have plenty of challenges in my life (as does everyone I’m sure...) I bh have very good cleaning help and it’s my sanity. The thing is it is a large expense every month and I know I have a lot more help than lots of ppl. Money isn’t overflowing and I am feeling somewhat guilty about this expense, trying to understand why I need so much more help than lots of ppl and why I can’t seem to manage without. I work from home during the day and evenings, I have 5 kids ranging from 3-14 (no they don’t help much with the cleaning). I am constantly busy and can’t imagine also having time for the cleaning and laundry. I do not have a very large house. (4 bedrooms and a nursery, medium size kitchen, dinette, living room/dining room, 2.5 bathrooms, playroom, laundry room) At this point I don’t have the emotional energy to work on my kids helping more. They have their basic chores they do daily, and they help for Shabbos with some of the cooking/baking and setting the table type of things.
So here goes. I have 7 hours help a day Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. And 4 hours on Thursday.
First thing daily is tidy the house, sweep the floors, make all the beds very well (after the kids make their own beds not so nicely), empty all garbage cans in the house and bring all laundry from hampers to the laundry room. This way the house feels neat and clean before she even started cleaning. Then here is the daily schedule:
Monday: the kitchen/dinette gets a good scrubbing from Shabbos, 3 bathrooms, wash all the laundry
Tuesday: touch up the kitchen/dinette, fold, iron and put away all the laundry, change some linen, some extras as needed- walls, moldings, windows, polish silver... whatever is needed that week.
Wednesday: kitchen/dinette, 3 bathrooms, clean all furniture and wash floors in all the bedrooms
Thursday: touch up the kitchen/dinette, surface clean and vacuum playroom (sometimes takes longer if toys need to be cleaned up- kids usually do it) vacuum steps, wash and fold the weeks laundry
Friday: wash living room,dining room floor and furniture, kitchen/dinette, 3 bathrooms and finish folding and ironing and put away the laundry.

keym

Mon, Apr 09 2018, 7:57 pm

Look. Im saying this non judgementally. You have a lot of help and possibly quite high cleanliness expectations. Now theres nothing wrong with that.
But if you are trying to cut back, either you are going to lower your standards or work like crazy.
I have similar sized house and similar size and age kids. but I only have 3 hrs a week of help- thats all I can afford.
Beds dont always get made, and I definitely dont redo beds.
Cl cleans bathrooms once a week. When I have a few seconds, I use a clorox wipe.
Floors get washed once a week by cl. If I have extra energy I try to wash it before shabbos.
Floors get swept every night.
Upstairs garbage cans get eptied by cl and before shabbos.
Big garbage cans get emptied as they fill.
Silver gets polished like once a month. I try to wipe it down as im setting the table.
Moldings and walls get washed, like never.
Laundry gets washed and dried but not always folded or put in drawers.
Basically my house is usually neatish but not sparkling.
Its the best I can do.
Im not trying to make you feel bad. Im happy you have the help. But if you are trying to cut....

bsy

Mon, Apr 09 2018, 8:13 pm

keym wrote:

This. I don't have cleaning help. But bathrooms can be cleaned well once a week and wiped down if and when necessary in 30 seconds.

amother

Sienna

Mon, Apr 09 2018, 9:04 pm

I am in a similar situation as keym. 8 hrs once a week. Maybe you can cut to Monday, Wednesday, Friday make some of the tasks such as walls and silver once every other week or monthly and have the kids put away their laundry after cl has washed, ironed, and folded (or worst case, as we sometimes do, live out of the clean laundry basket...) Maybe DH can take out garbage on Tues/Thurs. I think your house will still look quite nice and it won’t add so much work to your plate.

crust

Mon, Apr 09 2018, 9:09 pm

amother wrote:

Thanks everyone for your perspectives. They are helpful.

I second what everyone else said. I'm chiming in because just in case you're chassidish I want you to know that even such a poster like me with a solid chassidishe Hungarian mesorah:) also doesn't do silver every Tuesday.

And I don't know where my moldings are. I hope they are intact. LOL

I don't advise you to go from 32 hours a week to 5. You are used to it so it will be too stressfull to drop the need to be so on top of things. Take off an hour a day. Go slowly.

Btw I wasn't always this way. It took effort to free myself of these self imposed ridiculous standards.

amother

Bisque

Mon, Apr 09 2018, 10:25 pm

crust wrote:

Lol thanks! FYI we do not do silver every week at all. Just giving examples of extra stuff that comes up. Most Tuesdays she spends on mostly laundry. I have a lot of ironing- it takes hours! She doesn’t have time for so much else. I actually find that the laundry takes up a ton of hours a week!

amother

Khaki

Tue, Apr 10 2018, 12:25 am

The only thing that takes long about laundry is folding. Maybe 20 minutes a load. I avoid ironing whenever I can. Shirts straight out of the dryer onto a hanger. I don’t iron underwear, weekday clothes,( mine or the kids) linens. I have a bunch of toddlers so I cover my shabbos tablecloth with a plastic and don’t have to wash it often.

I agree with leaving your beds made as the kids make them. Why do they think they make them if it just gets redone? I’m assuming you aren’t talking about a 5 yr old who could barely manage the quilt. Are people regularly walking into your bedrooms? Not sure why it is so important for them to be perfect.

(This thread is prob not the time to mention that there are people out there that don’t bother making beds. They straighten the blanket as they climb into bed for the night 🙃)

But don’t come to my house. My standards are way lower than yours. I’m just lazier and laid back. And my husband mostly ignores it.

Teomima

Tue, Apr 10 2018, 1:24 am

I agree with what others have said. If that's the lifestyle you want, go for it! There's nothing at all wrong with it. In my house I'm a SAHM, we have no cleaning help, and beds never get made, much less twice a day. I honestly can not remember the last time I pulled out my iron. Kids clothes live in bins in their closet so they don't even get folded. Rooms get cleaned as-needed but there's far more chaos than order.

So if you want to keep up your current standards, by all means keep your help. You're right, there's no way you could do everything your help is doing all by yourself. But if you're looking for ways to cut back, you need to change your standards. If that's what you choose to do, cut back gradually. Leave the beds the way the kids made them, decide what clothes don't need ironing, etc. etc., until you've reached a level you can afford but are still comfortadable with.

The most important thing is that you provide a safe, loving home for your family.

crust

Tue, Apr 10 2018, 1:44 am

amother wrote:

Laundry takes time. Putting in loads, folding, putting into the closets, mending and ironing.

But ironing for hours? I hope your home is not made out of a cotton linen blend. LOL

Ok. You know why I realized after bedikas chometz that my iron is broken and I forgot to buy a new iron? Its because I use an iron 5 minutes a week.

ALL shirts in my home are wrinkle free. I rather spend on a wrinkle free shirt than become a slave to it.

And unfortunately, I will not merit the "her boys had those freshly startched brooks shirts every single day" tombstone. Oy. What a yeridas hadoros.

ALL weekday dresses in my home are wrinkle free.
ALL tablecloths in my home are wrinkle free except for one that is covered with a heavy plastic and I wash it once in a yovel.

If the item is not wrinkle free I dont buy it period.

Bnei Berak 10

Tue, Apr 10 2018, 5:47 am

crust wrote:

Solid chassidishe Hungarian mesorah, is that like having a top-top perfectly cleaned home where everything gleams and the balabusta takes pride in having newly polished silver? I am seriously curious (didn't grow up with this concept) as sometimes I have heard people saying 'they are very Hungarian' and I always got the impression of a very traditional fine home where you use fine china for meals, perfectly ironed table cloths (without plastic!) etc. But I never got the concept explained to me and I would love to have someone explain it to me finally.

amother

Plum

Tue, Apr 10 2018, 6:11 am

I have someone come monday, wednesday and friday. I prefer for her to come in the afternoon. She usually stays for about 5 hours. Beds are not always made in my house, I do all the laundry and most of the putting away of clothing - she irons, and puts away towels and sheets. I don't want her to put away clothing because she mixes everything up...my clothes with my teenage daughters. I also don't want her to do laundry since I don't trust her not to put stuff in the dryer that shouldn't. I do laundry on motzei shabbos and sunday so when she comes on monday she irons and puts away linen and towels.

The days she doesn't come I do have to spend about an hour straightening up the kitchen.

watergirl

Tue, Apr 10 2018, 6:44 am

In addition to lowering your expectations, I would find a new cleaning person - it sounds like yours is taking advantage and taking longer than necessary. Sounds like your house is in clean condition ever day and should never really need a deep clean - yet you said every monday the kitchen gets a good scrubbing from shabbos - how bad can it get in 2 days? What You’ve described shouldnt be 7 hours of work. We have a cleaning lady for 2 hours a week and in that time, she manages to really clean my kitchen, all floors, and 3 bathrooms (and honestly, by the time its her day, its pretty bad!). She scrubs my stove top (I’m not the neatest cook). She finishes before the 2 hours are up and leaves.

Tasks like cleaning moldings should be monthly at most (I’ve honesty never cleaned mine other than spot cleaning as needed) and walls? Is that a thing? And I echo those who said beds should not be remade! The 14 year old can take the families laundry down to the laundry room. Or - wait for this - you can leave the dirty clothes in the hamper in their rooms until laundry day! Its ok. Silver should not be polished so often, it ruins it. Re: ironing - it takes hours?! What is being ironed? Start buying clothes that is wrinkle free. My daughters uniform shirts go in the dryer for 10 mins and are then hung up to dry, or she hangs them wet - they arent wrinkled when she wears them. Dh only wears no iron shirts. My tablecloths are also wrinkle free. My kids literally think the purpose of my iron is to be used to fuse together perler beads!

It does sound like you work very hard and have long days, and have a big family! Kol hakavod! I mean it. But I do honestly think living in a museum house isnt realistic and things can be relaxed some.

Last edited by watergirl on Tue, Apr 10 2018, 8:45 am; edited 1 time in total