What are your luxuries?

Zehava

Thu, Apr 12 2018, 3:42 pm

eema of 3 wrote:

Because we WILL be judged. What I see as a necessity (cleaning help, getting away for a few days) has often times been called a luxury, here and on other forums. I have no problem with others judging me, but I still don’t want to HEAR the judgement.

I get it
That’s why I only mentioned one thing (which is already being considered most luxurious lol) I’d get shot down if I mentioned other things I consider luxuries.
I just knew this thread will be skewed that way due to everyone trying to outdo each other on the frugality front.

InnerMe

Thu, Apr 12 2018, 3:55 pm

Zehava wrote:

I know.
I opened this thread, and I got a funny feeling. Because this is a thread about being open about your "luxuries." But the fact is that judgment remains.

Imagine I tell you that my luxury is flying at least once a month to an exotic location, eating at elegant restaurants at least once a week, weekly hour long massages... would you (general you) still fargin me this luxury? To me it seems that the hidden question of this thread is "whose luxury is the most frugal, and cannot even be called a luxury?"

Zehava

Thu, Apr 12 2018, 4:07 pm

InnerMe wrote:

Zactly
I challenge you
Tell me yours I’ll tell you mine

SuperWify

Thu, Apr 12 2018, 4:18 pm

InnerMe wrote:

Nope. Not my point at all.

I was just shocked at what people consider luxuries. Started questioning if I was spoiled or not. Then Zehava answered and I felt normal again. I can see myself doing that one day.

But yes, there are very many frugal women here and it makes me feel like I need to justify the things I have/need.

Zehava

Thu, Apr 12 2018, 4:21 pm

SuperWify wrote:

So I’m here to tell you that no you are not spoiled and the attitude displayed her is a bit skewed because there is this attitude of bragging about frugality and being afraid of others judgement.

InnerMe

Thu, Apr 12 2018, 4:25 pm

SuperWify wrote:

I did not intend to say that that *was* your intention... and it wasn't. Somehow such threads evolve that way. I think we need an non-judgment exercise thread, similar to what little neshamala did with acceptance, in which Imas post their luxuries, and people respond with "wow, I'm so happy for you!" and "good for you that you take care of yourself!"

thunderstorm

Thu, Apr 12 2018, 4:42 pm

Zehava wrote:

So I’m here to tell you that no you are not spoiled and the attitude displayed her is a bit skewed because there is this attitude of bragging about frugality and being afraid of others judgement.

Zehava I really don't think it's bragging about frugality. I actually get offended when people comment on this site that I'm frugal.
What's a luxury to me is a need for others. I grew up with nothing. So I learned to appreciate everything I have in life and appreciating the real basics. That makes me just feel I don't need much more than that. I'm happy with my chalek HaShem has given to me. I love to indulge. But I don't need exotic vacations to endulge. I don't enjoy things like that. My sister thinks I'm nuts and always takes me for manis and pedis. For her they are a necessity , for me they are an expensive nuisance. I don't enjoy the process and hate he way the polish feels afterward. Peace and quiet, nature and God all make me happy. That's what I crave and indulge in. I need my space and need to be able to do my hobbies. That's more important to me than having new clothes, new sheitel or a new house. I'm not trying to show you how I live a simpler lifestyle. But rather I appreciate the simpler lifestyle and indulge in things that make me happy.
I don't like real jewelry . Not because of the price. I don't like diamonds. I love colorful , beaded, weird and artsy jewelry and I have a massive collection. If I wanted real jewelry I'd get it for myself.
I feel like that those that value other things are made fun of and mocked for being frugal.
I'm not frugal. I hate that word. I just don't need a lot.
If you love to spend money on a Mercedes Benz encrusted in diamonds I'd say "be my guest, enjoy it in good health!" And I'd fargin you all the way. After all we all appreciate and value different things and there is nothing wrong with either one.

InnerMe

Thu, Apr 12 2018, 4:48 pm

thunderstorm wrote:

I like your post. I really do. I can relate that to different people different things mean luxuries. I just felt a certain holding back in this thread, because of fear of judgment. Which is a real and valid fear. I guess because it's more "respectable" to value things that don't cost money... I dunno. I'm bumping into a blockage in trying to explain myself.

Zehava

Thu, Apr 12 2018, 4:49 pm

thunderstorm wrote:

I’m a lot like you thunderstorm
I don’t enjoy any of the things you mentioned above and like you I like nature, space etc.
which is why I love my vacations so much. I get to breathe, sit in scenery that takes my breath away, and explore beautiful nature. I like to say I found god while speedboating on gorgeous aqua waters...

Iymnok

Thu, Apr 12 2018, 4:55 pm

Another thought,
A lot of luxuries require planning and too much effort on my part. And that takes away from my enjoyment of them.
For example, To go out to eat with Dh would require finding a babysitter, planning where to go, maybe reservations, preparing the kid's dinner, making sure the house looks neat enough for the babysitter, getting there, getting back before the babysitter has to leave...

I like luxuries that require minimal effort on my part.
Oh, I do have a luxury, DH bought me an ice cream maker before Pesach! That’s a luxury that’s fun and yummy!

Ema of 5

Thu, Apr 12 2018, 4:57 pm

Zehava wrote:

I haven’t read the whole thing, so maybe I missed something, but I don’t see that happening.

thunderstorm

Thu, Apr 12 2018, 4:58 pm

Zehava wrote:

And good for you! I have a fear of water so water sports and water oriented vacations just don't appeal to me even though I would just enjoy looking at the water for 10 days all by myself . But I totally fargin you to go and endulge in all your other luxuries. There is nothing wrong with that. Even if there are people that haven't gone on vacation in 20 yrs. , they should still be happy that you have the ability to go. I want to hear honesty and people should "come out" and not be ashamed to express what luxury means to them.

Zehava

Thu, Apr 12 2018, 5:05 pm

thunderstorm wrote:

I did just that two weeks before Pesach
This year I couldn’t go anywhere exotic for various reasons. So we flew to Florida and basically looked at the water for three days. It was heaven.
Maybe I should start a spin-off where anonymous posting is allowed.