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Forum
-> Parenting our children
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amother
Beige
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 Mon, Apr 23 2018, 2:54 am
OP, your Pollyanna attitude is unrealistic .
A child with Down Syndrome will be mocked by neighborhood children. If he is high functioning he will know it and it will pain him greatly. If he is low functioning he will think the people laughing at him are laughing with him. As a mother, both scenarios are unbearably painful.
A child with Down Syndrome can be impeccably groomed. But he will still act differently, walk differently, talk differently. His siblings will get tired of constantly explaining/defending him.
A child with Down Syndrome has inborn challenges and difficulties. As a mother, it is terribly painful to watch your child struggle.
I just think that you and your children need to be prepared.
Because the way you are now, I think your trip down to earth will be really rocky.
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amother
Emerald
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Mon, Apr 23 2018, 3:59 am
| amother wrote: | OP, your Pollyanna attitude is unrealistic .
A child with Down Syndrome will be mocked by neighborhood children. If he is high functioning he will know it and it will pain him greatly. If he is low functioning he will think the people laughing at him are laughing with him. As a mother, both scenarios are unbearably painful.
A child with Down Syndrome can be impeccably groomed. But he will still act differently, walk differently, talk differently. His siblings will get tired of constantly explaining/defending him.
A child with Down Syndrome has inborn challenges and difficulties. As a mother, it is terribly painful to watch your child struggle.
I just think that you and your children need to be prepared.
Because the way you are now, I think your trip down to earth will be really rocky. |
OP, please ignore the above post. Your attitude is wonderful, and I'm sure you'll take any difficulties in stride. There is no need to adopt a pessimistic way of looking at things.
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RachelEve14
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Mon, Apr 23 2018, 4:11 am
| amother wrote: | OP, your Pollyanna attitude is unrealistic .
A child with Down Syndrome will be mocked by neighborhood children. If he is high functioning he will know it and it will pain him greatly. If he is low functioning he will think the people laughing at him are laughing with him. As a mother, both scenarios are unbearably painful.
A child with Down Syndrome can be impeccably groomed. But he will still act differently, walk differently, talk differently. His siblings will get tired of constantly explaining/defending him.
A child with Down Syndrome has inborn challenges and difficulties. As a mother, it is terribly painful to watch your child struggle.
I just think that you and your children need to be prepared.
Because the way you are now, I think your trip down to earth will be really rocky. |
I have no idea what happened in your family or what trauma you grew up with, but I'm very sorry it left you a bitter angry person.
I wrote a quick post to the OP yesterday because I was at the doctor, on my phone, yes, with my child with Down syndrome. We are now in the hospital for probably the 30th time in the last 18 months. Is it easy, no, it's really not. Have the last 2 years since he's been born been all sunshine and roses? Absolutely not. Neither have the last 14 years that I've been a mother. My regular kids have been made fun of, struggled in school, been mean to peers and had peers be mean to them, been sick and well and had everything from teh common cold and chicken pox to open heart surgery and hearing loss (these are my "regular" kids, by the way).
To the OP, it's great you have a wonderful attitude. My son was born healthy and unfortunately developed seizures at 6 months old that threw us into a downward health / development spiral to this day. Even with all the difficulties (and there have been many), he's a blessing and a gift and I wouldn't trade him for the world. Whether you child winds up "high functioning" or "low functioning" (I HATE THOSE TERMS), he or she will bring you much joy and nachat. The fact that you know kids in the neighborhood is a huge plus. My kids (who were between 3.5 & 12 when Asher was born) were familiar with DS because of a child in teh neighborhood who has always been part of regular life. When I told them their brother has DS, their reaction was "oooh, like X" and they moved on with life. Like I said, the very special brother book was nice. The story was too young for my big kids, but teh question and answers in the back were helpful and they read the book a lot (I would never think to tell them that it doesn't hurt to have Down syndrome, for example).
Feel free to PM if you want to "talk."
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amother
Lawngreen
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Mon, Apr 23 2018, 4:56 am
| amother wrote: | OP, your Pollyanna attitude is unrealistic .
A child with Down Syndrome will be mocked by neighborhood children. If he is high functioning he will know it and it will pain him greatly. If he is low functioning he will think the people laughing at him are laughing with him. As a mother, both scenarios are unbearably painful.
A child with Down Syndrome can be impeccably groomed. But he will still act differently, walk differently, talk differently. His siblings will get tired of constantly explaining/defending him.
A child with Down Syndrome has inborn challenges and difficulties. As a mother, it is terribly painful to watch your child struggle.
I just think that you and your children need to be prepared.
Because the way you are now, I think your trip down to earth will be really rocky. |
So, are you suggesting that I terminate, put my baby up for adoption, or institutionalize my baby? Or maybe lock it up in the shed like was done a hundred years ago?
Also, I'm pretty horrified by how you speak about neighborhood children mocking someone with disabilities. I'm happy I don't live in your neighborhood. Where I live, people are respectful and understand that each person has tzelem elokim in them. Of course, kids can be mean to other kids, "normal" or not, for any variety of reasons. But the parents I know educate their kids on how to act properly!
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grace413
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Mon, Apr 23 2018, 5:04 am
| RachelEve14 wrote: |
To the OP, it's great you have a wonderful attitude. My son was born healthy and unfortunately developed seizures at 6 months old that threw us into a downward health / development spiral to this day. Even with all the difficulties (and there have been many), he's a blessing and a gift and I wouldn't trade him for the world. Whether you child winds up "high functioning" or "low functioning" (I HATE THOSE TERMS), he or she will bring you much joy and nachat. The fact that you know kids in the neighborhood is a huge plus. My kids (who were between 3.5 & 12 when Asher was born) were familiar with DS because of a child in teh neighborhood who has always been part of regular life. When I told them their brother has DS, their reaction was "oooh, like X" and they moved on with life.
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OP, I'm also impressed with your wonderful, positive attitude. As a friend of RachelEve just want to say that Asher is cute and adorable as IYH your baby will also be.
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amother
Lawngreen
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Mon, Apr 23 2018, 6:00 am
| RachelEve14 wrote: | I have no idea what happened in your family or what trauma you grew up with, but I'm very sorry it left you a bitter angry person.
I wrote a quick post to the OP yesterday because I was at the doctor, on my phone, yes, with my child with Down syndrome. We are now in the hospital for probably the 30th time in the last 18 months. Is it easy, no, it's really not. Have the last 2 years since he's been born been all sunshine and roses? Absolutely not. Neither have the last 14 years that I've been a mother. My regular kids have been made fun of, struggled in school, been mean to peers and had peers be mean to them, been sick and well and had everything from teh common cold and chicken pox to open heart surgery and hearing loss (these are my "regular" kids, by the way).
To the OP, it's great you have a wonderful attitude. My son was born healthy and unfortunately developed seizures at 6 months old that threw us into a downward health / development spiral to this day. Even with all the difficulties (and there have been many), he's a blessing and a gift and I wouldn't trade him for the world. Whether you child winds up "high functioning" or "low functioning" (I HATE THOSE TERMS), he or she will bring you much joy and nachat. The fact that you know kids in the neighborhood is a huge plus. My kids (who were between 3.5 & 12 when Asher was born) were familiar with DS because of a child in teh neighborhood who has always been part of regular life. When I told them their brother has DS, their reaction was "oooh, like X" and they moved on with life. Like I said, the very special brother book was nice. The story was too young for my big kids, but teh question and answers in the back were helpful and they read the book a lot (I would never think to tell them that it doesn't hurt to have Down syndrome, for example).
Feel free to PM if you want to "talk." |
Thank you so much for your very real post. Refuah sheleima to your son, I hope the medical issues pass. I may PM you as more questions come up.
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Yael
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Mon, Apr 23 2018, 10:33 am
Amother beige, your posts have no place in this thread. Please refrain from posting in this thread again.
Amother OP, your replies are admirable.
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