What's the earliest age you left your child at home alone?

thunderstorm

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 7:31 am

amother wrote:

I use two criteria to evaluate my child's level of independence.

1. What would he/she do if a fire broke out?
2. What would he/ she do if he/she or the sibling in their care choked.

There is no seven year old I know that would pass this test. I know you sometimes need to get out, but your children are precious treasures that are dependent on you for protection. Think about a worst case scenario and if you could live with yourself if chalila it happened.

This reminds me, of when I was growing up. My 9yr old brother was watching my 6 month old brother who was crawling around and found a "kugelah"-square metal toy and put it in his mouth. He was choking and my brother had just learned first aid, and did the Heimlich Manuever on his baby brother and saved his life. Most 9 yr olds I know wouldn't know what to do if they were faced with this.

amother

Pewter

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 7:49 am

amother wrote:

I have left my 8 yr old for 5 min alone . Dh was picking me up from a local place and there were no car services or public. Transportation.

keym

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 9:39 am

When my first two were 9 & 10, I would leave them alone together (no younger siblings) for 10 min or so. Thats when I stopped making backup and backup for the backup plans in case I was a few min delayed for the bus.
By 11, id allow up to two hours alone Or to watch one younger sibling for a ten min milk and bread run.
By 12, to babysit a sleeping toddler and playing preschooler for an hour. By I dont allow her to babysit my 6-9 yr olds. They dont listen to her and ive always regreted going out for that milk.

amother

Cerise

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 10:12 am

These sound like really conservative ages to me, but I guess it depends on your neighborhood.
If I'd allow my five year old son to play outside himself, I'd allow him to play inside himself as long as he knows where to find me, or some other adult.
This year, he is allowed to go around the corner on his own (suburban, family friendly area, very few cars), so I have no problem going around the corner either to pick something up for 5-20 minutes.
My neighbor's six year old often gets home ten minutes before her mom. She knows her cell phone number and usually just plays outside with neighbors until her mother gets home.
My other neighbor has a responsible eight year old who is allowed to stay home alone if he doesn't want to join his mother on an errand.
Another neighbor ( kids ages 7,6, 4) will call her house phone, put it on speaker, and listen in on her cell while she drives the sitter home at night(2, 3 minute drive each way).
Of course we can say "what if there's a fire, car crash, earthquake. .." but the chances of it happening are not high enough to justify driving yourself crazy.

I wouldn't leave a baby with a child younger than 11, though. The chances of something happening are much higher with a baby or toddler.

amother

Aubergine

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 10:16 am

Where I live (Maryland), the legal age you are allowed to leave kids home alone is 8. I've done that for short periods for some of my kids, but not all, depending on level of independence and whether they felt comfortable, and only in the afternoon when there are neighbors around in case of an emergency. Interestingly, the legal minimum age for babysitting here is 13, so I could technically leave an 8 and 10 years old home alone, but a 12 year old is not allowed to babysit a 7 year old even if they are perfectly capable (which mine was, but I didn't do it since we are sticklers for rules).

amother

Emerald

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 10:21 am

amother wrote:

If there was a recall on Tylenol because 1/ 100 000 were possibly contaminated, would you take a Tylenol because you have a mild headache? A close friend's 5 year old was hit by a car while playing outside unsupervised. The worst part of the arduous road to recovery, was her intense guilt.

amother

Brunette

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 11:35 am

amother wrote:

Do you live in Israel? I can't imagine in the US

amother

Plum

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 12:56 pm

amother wrote:

Actually in Israel this would be illegal. Children have to be 9 to be out alone, certainly at least to cross streets. I think legally though you're allowed to leave a 6 year old home alone, but no one younger.

I'd be VERY surprised if it's a law that under 9 can't be out alone. In my yishuv the 6 year olds walk to and from school alone (8th graders are crossing guards). I have seen signs that that's the age to cross streets.

keym

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 5:21 pm

shiaeisen wrote:

There is actually a legal age minimum requirement in every state (varying ages by each States) in which you may not leave a child alone even for a moment. Don’t take chances

Its actually not so clear cut. If you look it up the minimum age in Illinois is 14, Maryland is 8. NJ (where I live) does not have a minimum age. Organizations reccomend 12 but parents have the discretion to decide younger or older based on the particular child.
The problem is in case of an emergency Child Protective Services can charge the parents with neglect if they feel the parents made the wrong choice.
But that is such a broad title that its impossible to know.
And if someone hired a 17 yr old who got flustered and disaster struck, CPS can also press charges.
So yes parents deciding 11, 12, whatever are doing the best they could but are always running a risk.

SixOfWands

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 5:37 pm

amother wrote:

Why not? How many emergencies have you ever had with your baby? If you left your baby alone for 4 hours, she'd probably be just fine. Maybe hungry. Probably need a diaper change. But she'd survive.

But that doesn't make it safe.

What if (chas v'shalom) your neighbor gets into a car accident driving the sitter home. That 3 minutes becomes an hour. Or longer. (And really, 3 minutes? Walking to the car -- even in the driveway -- buckling in and pulling out, same on way back, and letting the sitter out of the car takes more than 3 minutes.)

And what if there's a storm while your other neighbor's 6 year-old is waiting for mom? Do you just assume that someone else will take responsibility for her? What if they can't?

What if your 5 year old's ball rolls in the street. Do you really think he's not going after it? Does he really know what to do if there's a gas leak, or a fire during the 20 minutes you leave him alone? And you're absolutely certain that he's not getting into things he shouldn't, like cleansers. Or trying to get things from top shelves and falling. Or any one of a million other things that kids do.

amother

Cerise

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 5:54 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

Seriously? A baby can't understand if you tell her you'll be back in fifteen minutes, cannot go find you if you are late, cannot ask a neighbor for help finding you...
What's going to happen to my non risk-taking 5.5 year old in twenty minutes (other moms have to make their own assessment according to their child's personlity)??? If he is mature enough to go outside unsupervised, tehn he is ready to stay home alone for 20 minutes if he wants to.
And no, he doesn't go after a ball.
YOu have to ask yourself about every risk you can think of:
How likely is this for me to worry about?
Otherwise how can you not be OCD?

What if, what if what if... You can drive yourself crazy.
What if my child falls while I'm in the shower? Should I not take showers when he's home? What if my baby chokes when I'm asleep? Should I only cosleep?

SixOfWands

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 6:09 pm

amother wrote:

Babies are pretty much immobile. If you put them in the crib or playpen, they'll almost certainly be there when you come back. They're the least at risk. Although I wouldn't leave one alone.

The problem with leaving a 5 year-old home is that they don't appreciate risks. And they're unpredictable. Each of my kids never did anything wrong, until they did. None of them ever ran into the street, until they did. And however many times I have told however many kids -- including dozens of random kids at the park -- not to go out of the park after the ball, I've never seen a kid who didn't try to.

Its not OCD to think that young children aren't old enough to be alone.

amother

Seafoam

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 6:57 pm

amother wrote:

Since when is a 5 year old mature enough to go outside unsupervised? Not in my world.