Please help with my logical argument

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amother

Seagreen

Sat, Apr 28 2018, 10:38 pm

My dh Isd a logical type. So I need a logical argument/explanation to him.

Dd is 4 yrs old. She is socially anxious. Speaks yiddish. And is somewhat speech delayed.

Now that the summer is coming along and registration is rolling around the day camps are expensive. I can't afford it. As it is tuition is hard for me. As a sahm I offered dh to keep her home.

Problem is that if I do. For all summer, for so many weeks it will be so much harder for her to acclimate socially when she comes back to school. She is receiving therapy. But if she doesn't get exposure to social interactions she will regress. And I don't know how to explain this to dh. He simply can't afford to pay for it. He doesn't seem to understand how this affects her.

Anyone has any ideas? My heart is breaking for her,s she will be so lonely. Staying home with her mother for 10 weeks is excruciating for me.

I could ask my mother in law to help us financially but dh only goes to her when he's not able to cover very basics like food or emergency issues. Other then that he will not be happy for me to do. I know he won't want me to. I want to resolve this calmly and not offer him stuff that will not make him happy.

I'm not capable of making a Daycamp on my own. It's just not something that is for me.

Any ideas how to explain how important this is for her. So I can keep calm while explaining to dh. I'm already pretty emotional about this.

Any therapists experienced in social anxiety can help explain how this affects such a child?

nicole81

Sat, Apr 28 2018, 10:41 pm

Can you work in a camp so that she can attend for free?

amother

Seagreen

Sat, Apr 28 2018, 10:44 pm

Would they want someone that's over 40? What type of work can I do? Counselor? I thought they take girls.

amother

Seagreen

Sat, Apr 28 2018, 10:44 pm

I might do this.

nicole81

Sat, Apr 28 2018, 10:53 pm

amother wrote:

Would they want someone that's over 40? What type of work can I do? Counselor? I thought they take girls.

I've seen counselors of all ages, especially with the youngest kids. Plus there are all sorts of jobs in camps ie office, specialty staff (like baking... Most moms could do that!)... it can't hurt to call around, especially as it's getting close to the summer.

Good luck! Fwiw I totally see what you're saying and I think your dd could benefit from camp, so I hope that you are able to make it happen.

animeme

Sat, Apr 28 2018, 11:02 pm

If that doesn't work, you can also get together with two or three other mothers and make a round-robin, with each of you having the kids one day week. It would be a smaller environment, and you would only have to "make camp" one day a week.

erm

Sat, Apr 28 2018, 11:34 pm

Perhaps you can send her just for half a summer?

seeker

Sun, Apr 29 2018, 12:23 am

You mentioned staying at home with the DD, which implies that you don't currently have a day job. So if you find some other work not in a camp, maybe you can help cover the cost of the camp.

Would it help to have other forms of social interaction or do you think she needs a school-type setting? You could get together with other kids after camp hours, or other kids that stay at home. You can take her to storytime at your public library (even if it's in English, I've seen library groups geared to little kids that really anyone can participate in. Simple books, lots of songs/puppets...) and maybe find other similar activities.

amother

Seagreen

Sun, Apr 29 2018, 12:44 am

I might just do some babysitting for a few people in my neighborhood so I can pay for it. It would work the best. I can do my own hours and still have some income.

crust

Sun, Apr 29 2018, 12:48 am

amother wrote:

I might just do some babysitting for a few people in my neighborhood so I can pay for it. It would work the best. I can do my own hours and still have some income.

Great mother! I like the way you handled this situation.

amother

Seagreen

Sun, Apr 29 2018, 12:58 am

Ty crust. You made me feel so good. I'm so nervous to do this. I had a job a couple months ago and it went really bad. I'm anxious starting again.

I just need chizuk so I don't chicken out and keep going strong.

Anyone can help me please? I so need it.

Also don't know what age to take.

seeker

Sun, Apr 29 2018, 1:02 am

Babysitting sounds like a great idea. If you can handle taking a few kids at a time, the income can be really nice. And there may be people who have different needs over the summer, maybe their usual sitters go away or something.

Do whatever age you feel most comfortable with. Set yourself up for success.

amother

Seagreen

Sun, Apr 29 2018, 1:09 am

Ty so so much seeker! I'm excited!

seeker

Sun, Apr 29 2018, 1:41 am

Good luck! Let us know how it goes! And start looking for clients now... could be it'll be the kids and not the sitters traveling over the summer, who knows... if you're a SAHM anyway then hopefully you have that flexibility to try things out now.

sweet

Sun, Apr 29 2018, 1:59 am

Honestly, I’ve kept a 4 yr. old home and I don’t think it’s so hard(think park, library,play dough, grocery shopping..) and as far as the social aspect, Im sure you have neighbors . Kids that age are home at 3:00 already, and you have all shobbas for play dates with them..
Good luck with your decision.

crust

Sun, Apr 29 2018, 9:29 am

amother wrote:

Do you know someone who works and needs daily babysitting?
Its hard because people want commitment and if you later feel like giving up then the moms might be upset that they have to find someone else. Of course, you can always say it's only a try out.

Would you look into babysitting a child while parents are on vacation or had another baby etc? There's a bigger need for this type of babysitting especially if you take a few bucks less than the rest.

If you can take a child for a week or a weekend than that is a bigger chunk of money plus you are not commited for so long.

FranticFrummie

Sun, Apr 29 2018, 12:07 pm

I used to babysit, and I charged more for last minute jobs. Everyone in town loved me, because I was a SAHM, and if they could drop off it worked out for everyone. If their regular sitter or nanny called in sick, they knew they could count on me. If they were running late and needed me to go down the block when the bus came, I could do that, and watch the kids until the parent showed up. People also loved to hire me because I was a mom and not a teen. I was calm and patient, and could handle an emergency.

DD loved it when other kids "came to visit", because it gave her something new to focus on. A lot of the time, she'd be entertaining them while I was fixing snacks or tidying up. (I'd give her a couple of dollars for being such a good helper.)

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