Which gender you truly want

amother

Lawngreen

Mon, Apr 30 2018, 11:59 am

This has been on my mind for ever and I'm wondering if something is wrong with me, but doesn't everyone always want to have a baby boy? I wasn't raised with a bad image of women and I'm a pretty empowered female. BH I have kids of both genders, but still every time I'm pregnant I hope it is a boy. Just wondering how other people feel.

amother

Coffee

Mon, Apr 30 2018, 12:02 pm

amother wrote:

No!

There is nothing wrong with you. but your feelings are far from universal.

amother

Brown

Mon, Apr 30 2018, 12:02 pm

Huh?
I always thought women would want girls, men would want boys.

I have two boys and each pregnancy I hoped it would be a girl. Don't worry; I changed my attitude as soon as I met my boys, and I love each one so dearly, they make life so beautiful and fun, they are so sweet and funny and cute.

amother

Lawngreen

Mon, Apr 30 2018, 12:11 pm

Oops, the fourth option was left out of the poll :
- Your wishes depend on which kids you already have.

Wow, looks like I am an outlier... good to finally know. All these years I thought everyone felt the same... silly me!

FranticFrummie

Mon, Apr 30 2018, 12:17 pm

My DD is adopted. I met the birth mom when she was about 5 months pregnant, and we didn't know which gender she was carrying. We agreed to go ahead with the contract anyway.

Birth mom was annoyed because almost every single family profile the agencies showed her, the families wanted a boy. She felt that it shouldn't matter. I told her I would be happy with a child regardless of gender.

The next month we got together, and she told me she found out she was having a girl. I did a huge happy dance! I told her "You remember when I told you it wouldn't matter? I LIED! I wanted a girl SO BAD!" Birth mom was really relieved, because she was afraid that I would be secretly disappointed.

Birth mom was raised with lots of brothers, and she always wanted a boy. Several years later she married a wonderful man, and they now have a little boy of their own.

DD visits them as often as she can, and we are all very close. DD and her half brother are carbon copies of each other, and their mom.

I love happy endings.

Chayalle

Mon, Apr 30 2018, 12:22 pm

amother wrote:

That's funny. I totally don't relate, but everyone's different! I've never specifically wanted a boy. Maybe that's why Hashem gave me girls! I do think I would've been equally thrilled either way. My girls are very special to me, and I love my 9-month-old nephew to pieces, so I like 'em each way.....

amother

Mistyrose

Mon, Apr 30 2018, 12:31 pm

When I had preferences, it often had to do with names I wanted to give. If I had a name to give for my grandfather, I hoped for a boy and other such things. For my current pregnancy, I kind of hoped for the opposite kind because I have a bunch of one and only one of the other. I seem to be adding to my collection, but it’s all good. I’m happy anyway. I just wish this baby would hurry up and arrive.

amother

Jade

Mon, Apr 30 2018, 12:34 pm

I have all boys so far, love them so much! there's something so special about the bond of several brothers close in age. I would like daughters as well, iyh we will have girls one day. but I am happy with whatever Hashem blesses us with.

amother

Floralwhite

Mon, Apr 30 2018, 12:35 pm

I have one of each. I'd kind of hoped that my first would be a boy (and he is!) but I realized afterwards that I was young and stupid and it really doesn't matter. I'm pregnant with #3 through IVF and could have chosen the gender, but I really truly have no preference now!

amother

Lawngreen

Mon, Apr 30 2018, 12:41 pm

amother wrote:

curious why you thought people always wanted boys?

This is a great question which makes me dig deep into my consciousness. I always liked boys more, related better to them intellectually and emotionally... Always thought society values men more than women.
On the other hand, I never felt like I wanted to be a boy. I wanted to be that rare girl who "gets" boys... The girl who can prove that girls can be as smart as emotionally stable and as creative as boys... I guess I did grow up with a lot of negative stereotypes about girls, but they were definitely not coming from my family.

amother

Pearl

Mon, Apr 30 2018, 12:58 pm

I would be happy with any . with #1 I said a boy would be nice to name for my father who had no namesake yet but a girls you get to buy pretty dresses . I had a girl and the rest are all girls also if I have a boy yes it would be nice but I am happy to have more girls

Sunny Days

Mon, Apr 30 2018, 1:02 pm

a healthy baby. I always said it & will say it with even more kavana now...

(the only time I was secretly hoping a little- one gender over other was when I was expecting #2- and theyre 17 months apart- was hoping for a girl as I didnt have sisters growing up.)

amother

Wine

Mon, Apr 30 2018, 1:10 pm

I'm pregnant now and I already have one or each. I have no idea which gender I'm carrying but I'm honestly torn between the two. My daughter is desperate for a sister and her brother is too young to care so I kind of hope it's a girl for her, but for me? Makes no difference..

amother

Ivory

Mon, Apr 30 2018, 1:11 pm

When I was pregnant with my first, I wanted to have a boy because I wanted to make a pidyon haben... and also because I wanted a bechor (my husband is a bechor and I thought it would be nice) I had a girl, and I love her to pieces.
Now I'm pregnant with twins and have absolutely no preference. I would be happy with one of each, or two of either gender. Every option has its own pros and I can't wait to find out what it is!
I did always want to have an overall "girl family" because I grew up with sisters - and I think girl families are fun.

mha3484

Mon, Apr 30 2018, 1:14 pm

I have had 4 boys and I love them so much. I cant really imagine what I would do with a girl at this point. They are the most warm loving creatures. If I keep having boys I will be totally happy. I dont have a strong pull to have a girl.