S/O - Perks of having a Girl family

amother

Burgundy

Wed, May 02 2018, 9:42 pm

Figured since we have the other thread about a "Boy" family, we should have this one too. I personally have mostly girls B"H, & I do find it a bit difficult at times...

amother

Seafoam

Wed, May 02 2018, 9:46 pm

I have a bunch of girls and a single, solitary boy. I like that they can mostly share clothes/books/toys. I pretty much buy clothes for my oldest and my son, and everyone else gets replacements on an as needed basis. I’m about to have another girl, and I have all my newborn clothes and blankets washed. I don’t need a single thing. Also I guess I understand my girls because I was one. I grew up in the same neighborhood, attended the same BY, and have much the same concerns they do now with some minor technological differences that can be attributed to generational changes.

flowerpower

Wed, May 02 2018, 9:58 pm

Give them art supplies and they'll keep busy for hours
Invite some company for them and you may not see them for a while
Refresh your mushed brain with all their projects, homework, etc that you have to do- I mean they have to do
More flexible where to take them- some places I wouldn't take a boy like the beach on a busy Sunday
Not have to worry about missing mincha when you go out with them- if you have a bucher

seeker

Wed, May 02 2018, 10:13 pm

Bathroom doesn't smell like bad aim.
Sundays are free (not sure about elsewhere but most of the boys I know have school on Sundays and I can't imagine living like that!)
You never had to present yourself at a bris right after giving birth.
No pressure to make a $30,000 bar mitzvah Wink

(talk to me again at shidduchim time...)

amother

Seafoam

Wed, May 02 2018, 11:11 pm

seeker wrote:

(talk to me again at shidduchim time...)

The bris and shalom zachor thing was huge for me. I had two girls first and then I had to be present at a shalom zachor the day I was discharged from the hospital. I thank my lucky stars that all my kiddishes take place at shul without me. By us though high school girls have school on Sunday. The schools start and end at different times so my whole Sunday is basically carpool.

seeker

Wed, May 02 2018, 11:20 pm

At least you got a free pass until high school, though. I have a friend whose kids are the same ages as mine but boys, and our lives are so sadly different since we hit first grade! They never get a break!

amother

Olive

Thu, May 03 2018, 12:29 am

amother wrote:

Figured since we have the other thread about a "Boy" family, we should have this one too. I personally have mostly girls B"H, & I do find it a bit difficult at times...

Why do you find it difficult?

I love that my girls will sit nicely for a long time and do art. I love how cute they are and getting them clothes and accessories. They are so sweet and loving and I’m so happy they have that sister bond and I have that mother daughter bond with them. I love the Disney movies and music.

I find little boys to be whinier than little girls, and girls are way less wild and messy.

Miri7

Thu, May 03 2018, 12:32 am

I’m from a girl family - my fathers the only guy. I love our sisterhood. As we grow older, there’s a closeness we share even if we weren’t close as kids or teens. Our motherhood has really brought us together even across our differences.

Kiwi13

Thu, May 03 2018, 1:21 am

I grew up in a mostly girl home and it was wonderful! Endless games of house and dolls and staying up talking, whispering so we wouldn’t get caught still awake! As we got older we stayed best friends for life. I talk to them every day. My brother was the lone boy until brother-in-laws came on the scene. He managed okay. As kids we’d play house and my sisters and I would announce, “I’m the mommy! I’m the sister! I’m the baby!” And my brother would announce “I’m the puppy!” and crawl around barking and panting. As a mother I have mostly boys. My one daughter is still a baby but I think she’ll be okay. At 5 months she can already hold her own with her brothers and seems to look at my 2-year old with such adoration as if to say “I want to be YOU when I grow up!” Every family is unique, every child is unique. “Girl families” aren’t all the same, neither are boy families and neither is any other kind.

amother

Burgundy

Thu, May 03 2018, 8:29 am

amother wrote:

I guess I find all the "stuff", both physical - like clothing, accessories, etc & all emotional - all that talking and listening to them to be quite draining sometimes for me. I need more space for myself I guess. But I guess in reality, it depends more on the actual kid than girl vs. boy.

amother

Mauve

Thu, May 03 2018, 8:47 am

I’m from a girl family and I have a girl family. For me, as others above have said, the fact that they will have each other as they grow up and as adults is irreplaceable. My sisters and are very close and can always depend on each other despite large age gaps with some and many teenage fights with others, and I pray that my daughters will be too! Other than that, even though I’m not a very girly girl myself, I love dressing them cutely.

lfab

Thu, May 03 2018, 9:39 am

amother wrote:

I find little boys to be whinier than little girls, and girls are way less wild and messy.

Haha, clearly you haven't met my girls. I have 5 girls (no boys) and let me tell you they are far far far from calm and quiet. However, I would never change them for anything! While at times I feel a little bad for my husband that he doesn't have a son (though he says he couldn't care less) I love love love that I have a house full of girls. As far as perks go:

- You don't need to worry about your relationship with a DIL. So many
threads on here about people not getting along with their MIL or DIL
etc. At this point I won't ever have to worry about that!

- I"YH as they get older they will be able to help me around the house
with cooking etc. Not that boys can't help but with a yeshiva schedule
they are often not around. With girls I look forward to when they can
help me cook and bake for yom tov etc. Even now they love to "help" with
cooking/baking and I feel like it's such a good time to bond in a shared
activity.

-Girls are just so sweet. I have piles and piles of pictures and notes
from my girls saying I love you, or you're the best mommy. They melt my
heart. They are more emotionally expressive and free with the hugs and
kisses and I love yous. I'm sure little boys are the same way but from
my experience with my brothers, once they are a little older (even ages
5 or 6 already) they are more reserved, it's not cool to hug your mother
in front of your friends. But with my girls I get big hugs and kisses
everyday when I drop them off at the bus and they have no problem
letting their friends see them do it.

- I"YH when DH and I are old and need help we have a whole bunch of
daughters to help us. Based on my experiences, and from speaking to
others, it seems like most people are pulled more towards helping their
own parents vs. in laws. For example, if both need a place for yom tov
but you only have room to host one it seems that most women feel more of
an achrayus to have their own parents vs. in laws. Again, I'm very far
from that stage but it's something that I have noticed. Additionally, if
I ever need help physically, like with showering or in the bathroom or
have personal medical issues, I'd much rather have a daughter helping me
than a DIL.

- They will always have each other to lean on. They are all pretty close
in age and when they are not busy being best enemies they are best
friends. I hope to be able to help foster those relationships so that
they stay close as they get older (I am aware that I have only limited
control over this). But with B"H so many of them hopefully they will
each always have at least one sister that they connect with and are
close to so they always have someone to turn to. And in the same vein,
when I"YH DH are old the responsibility for caring for us won't fall on
one person. They can share the "burden" (though I hope to never be a
burden on my children caring for an aging parent is never easy).

-Oh yeah, and the clothes! I love dressing all my little girls up. The
cute socks, and the hairbows, and and and.... Yes it's definitely more
time consuming and more expensive than boys but I love it. So much fun!
As they get older I know it will be a lot less fun dealing with teenage
whims and need for the latest styles etc. But for now, when they're
young, it's fun.

-Speaking of clothes, hand me downs! Since they are close in age I am
able to pass almost everything down from my oldest and it's still in
style (or at least not terribly out of style). Most of their wardrobe
consists of stuff from previous kids and then I just fill in with a few
new pieces each season as needed.

-Because they're all the same gender (and relatively close in age) their
general interests are all more or less the same. So when planning a trip
for chol hamoed, etc. I don't have to worry about a son who wants to go
to a sports game, where my daughters would be bored to tears or my
daughters wanting to go to paint pottery and a son who will be bored.

-As someone else mentioned no school on Sunday. I do all my errands and
stuff on Sunday. I can't imagine having to worry about carpools and
making sure I'm home when a child gets home from school, etc. This way I
can just do errands at whatever time is convenient and not have to worry
about rushing home or scheduling my day around my child's school
schedule.

-When we're out in public places, stores... and we need to use the
bathroom I don't need to worry about bringing a boy into the ladies
bathroom or worry about letting a young boy go into the men's bathroom
on his own. They can all just come in with me.

-Having multiple kids in the same school, on the same schedule makes
things a lot easier. By next year 4 out of the 5 will be in the same
school. Fewer school drop offs/pickups. Fewer days off that don't
coordinate. So much easier. I know people who have both boys and girls
and they have to be at 2 different bus stops in 2 different places (a
couple of blocks apart) at the same time! Such a hassle. With all girls
they start at the same time, end at the same time, all go on the same
bus, have all the same days off... This obviously only applies once
they're school age. For this year we still had 3 separate drop
offs/pick-ups, schedules, etc. But it's something I look forward to that
with each child entering school it's one less schedule to coordinate.

I'm sure there are many many more perks but this is what I could think
of off the top of my head.

amother

Olive

Thu, May 03 2018, 10:30 am

amother wrote:

I work with kids and a lot of the little boys talk a lot. Could be more related to sports or superheroes but still a lot of chatter.

Ifab, not calm and quiet!! But generally less wild and destructive.

observer

Thu, May 03 2018, 10:34 am

...waiting for Chayalle to chime in Wink

lfab

Thu, May 03 2018, 11:06 am

amother wrote:

Like I said, clearly you haven't met my girls Very Happy

. They are definitely rambunctious, and while not deliberately destructive (but I don't think most boys are either) they break plenty of things in the course of their active play. I hate to use the term wild to describe kids behavior. Especially little kids when their intention is not to harm but just having fun without fully understanding the consequences of what they're doing. If you saw them playing they could definitely hold their own with a group of boys. They are just as loud, active, energetic, rambunctious (choose which term you'd like) as any boys I've ever met!

amother

Babyblue

Thu, May 03 2018, 12:52 pm

Delete

amother

Amethyst

Thu, May 03 2018, 12:56 pm

Girls are the best! They are always there for you even when they become adults and marry. They dont bring negative tension that DIL often bring. Daughters are daughters for life. Sons are sons till they marry.

amother

Babyblue

Thu, May 03 2018, 1:01 pm

Delete

tichellady

Thu, May 03 2018, 2:07 pm

Let’s not stereotype boys and girls as if they are all the same. You will only ever have the family you have and have no way of knowing how having other children would be better or worse. Enjoy your blessings!

gold21

Thu, May 03 2018, 2:41 pm

In response to "sons are sons until they marry"..., I mean, ok, so what do they become once they marry?

Answer: Still your sons, just married and with different dynamics and boundaries.