Does ur baby girl have earrings?

salt

Thu, May 31 2018, 4:57 am

newlywed613 wrote:

It is not a moral issue at all...it is a personal decision neither way is wrong its based on how you grew up ur circles what your mother and sisters did etc....please stop putting down either way....its not a bad thing to pierce ears....if ur not into it dont do zehu....eo can do wat works for them...bye bye

This is true. but in OP's case, she wants and her DH does not want.
So it stops being a "Are earrings good for babies" question.
It becomes a "Sit down and communicate with your DH, and come to a decision that you're both ok with" question.
Nothing to do with earrings really.

observer

Thu, May 31 2018, 3:11 pm

amother wrote:

But amothers here have explained that the reason we do it is not for our own personal agenda.

Let's not turn this into a moralistic issue.

What reason would you have other than your own personal agenda?

Societal pressure? That's your own agenda.
You think it looks cuter? That's your own agenda.
You want her to look more girly? That's your own agenda.

Please enlighten me..

Mommyg8

Thu, May 31 2018, 3:16 pm

amother wrote:

Boys get a bris girls get earrings all within a week or so of their birth. My girls slept through the piercing. It hurts more as you get older .

Again, it doesn't hurt at all as an adult (I had my ears pierced fairly recently). Nothing.

rosenbal

Thu, May 31 2018, 3:47 pm

I did my girls at 3 months. My pediatrician said to wait till then because less chance of infection because of immunizations etc. (But not a good idea to do to toddlers or preschoolers because they are much more likely to touch and infect.)

I'm not chassidish so no, everyone around me doesn't pierce infants (probably not even most) but it's not uncommon.

Why did I do it? Because I didn't get till 11 and always wanted and it was scary for me. Because my sister got at 5 (wanted it!!) and was terrified and then got infected and had to do it again. Because my pediatrician had no issues with it. But mostly...because I like it😄. Yup, did it for myself. Being honest here.

I couldn't really imagine my daughters getting mad at me for having pierced their ears. What's the chance of that happening? And they were quite happy with their earrings when they were old enough to realize they have them. (My two year old wants my makeup too....but that's definitely where I draw the line lol.)

amother

Powderblue

Thu, May 31 2018, 5:18 pm

observer wrote:

I think it was explained pretty well throughout this thread.

If my girls want earrings when they're older, they'll already have them without having to endure anticipatory fear or anxiety.

Whatever minor pain may be entailed, won't even be a memory.

And, they won't be tempted to touch and play with them, so infection risk will be greatly reduced.

Agree or disagree, but this is not a moralistic issue. I did it for them, not for any personal agenda.

observer

Fri, Jun 01 2018, 11:56 am

amother wrote:

Sorry, not convinced. You did it because you want them to have earrings. Older, younger, that's the bottom line here. Otherwise, you would let them choose when they get older.

Quite a few posters have said that they want them to have earrings as babies. They think it's cuter, it looks girlier, whatever. It's for the baby earring look. Not for when they get older.

Besides, as many have mentioned, getting earrings when you are older is really not such a big deal. If they want it, they can get it. If they don't, they don't have to. Again, it's you that wants them to have it.

observer

Fri, Jun 01 2018, 11:57 am

I just want to add, I don't think it's the worst thing to do. But what gets my goat is when people are not honest and come up with excuses as to how it's for the "baby's best interest". Say it like it is, it's because you want it. I have no patience for the dishonesty.

Chayalle

Fri, Jun 01 2018, 12:50 pm

It gets my goat when people act like you are disfiguring your baby without that baby's permission, or putting them thru some major procedure, or you need some sort of big excuse, to pierce your daughter's ears.

I don't need an excuse, and I don't have to justify it to you, and I'm not an abusive parent. It's a choice I made 3 X, and have never heard a single complaint about it from any of them.

observer

Fri, Jun 01 2018, 1:04 pm

Chayalle wrote:

It's a matter of personal opinion. No one has to justify it to anyone but since we are having a discussion of both sides here, we are discussing reasons.

Again, I do not think it's abusive or a terrible thing to do. I have reasons why I personally am against it. But my point still remains that many of the posters are being intellectually dishonest. If you choose to do it for yourself, stand behind it. Don't make it sound like it's for the baby's best. Finished.

amother

Powderblue

Fri, Jun 01 2018, 2:30 pm

observer wrote:

But you decided that anyone who does it, is doing it for herself. And lying or intellectually dishonest if they say otherwise.

Do you see the problem here?

observer

Fri, Jun 01 2018, 2:36 pm

amother wrote:

But you decided that anyone who does it, is doing it for herself. And lying or intellectually dishonest if they say otherwise.

Do you see the problem here?

Decided based on what posters wrote here.

Besides, have you ever heard it recommended purely for the baby's benefit? Seriously?

amother

Cerise

Fri, Jun 01 2018, 2:43 pm

Chayalle wrote:

I think it's a combination of reasons, among them - I like it, and B"EH so will they, so it's definitely to their benefit.

I'm not the "tons of jewels" kind of oerson. My dd loves nice things. She's 5. I rarely put her on necklaces or bracelets. (Although she has both) even on shabbos, yom tov, simchas....
But her earrings she's always wearing. And she loves it. We chose her last two pair together. I only buy gold for earing as check to make sure they are ok after every bath.
I do think I did it more for her than me.
My friend got hers as an older child. She was very resentful. And couldn't wait to have to done as soon as her mother allowed her too.
My kid LOVES her earrings.
I love how it enhances her sweet face and matches her personality.
The other doesn't care so much. Yet.

amother

Goldenrod

Fri, Jun 01 2018, 4:23 pm

rosenbal wrote:

My dd 2.5 does not have her ears pierced. I have no interest in having her ears pierced - one less thing for me to worry about.

However - if it was something that I wanted - it wouldn't be the risk of her being 'made at me' that would stop me, its my own feeling of boundaries.

Let her complain to me that she now needs to endure pain to 'be like everyone else with earrings'. If that's my worst offence as a mom - I'll be lucky.

amother

Seafoam

Sat, Jun 02 2018, 11:32 pm

I pierced my two girls at 6 months. I did it then because they had there shots then but they were young enough to forget there pain right away. I like girls in jewelry but little girls will lose bracelets, necklace,rings. Earing look cute and after the first two weeks. I never need to worry about there ears. at age two I switched my daughter to hanging earings. She's seven now and I never worry about it. It stays in her ear and she looks cute in it.

amother

Honeydew

Mon, Jun 04 2018, 2:43 pm

amother wrote:

I strongly disagree.
Growing up, I never met a single woman without ears pierced. In my world, it's a given. They will get pierced. Could care less about buying cutesy earrings for my daughter or showing her off. I want her to have pierced ears like the rest of society, and better to do it when she is 3 weeks old and cries for 5 minutes and forgets about it right after.

lol I guess you never met me Smile

I never wanted my ears pierced adn am so grateful to my mother for not having my ears pierced in infancy. I look just like teh rest of society thank you very much! and now I have a baby daughter, I do not intend getting her ears pierced. If she asks for it, I'll start thinking about what age we should allow it. But until she can ask for it, no way would I do that to her!

amother

Magenta

Mon, Jun 04 2018, 2:49 pm

Just out of curiosity, our shul had a youth Shabbat recently, so I was looking at the young girls' ears. Now, some may not have been wearing earrings even if they were pierced. But I only noticed 3 or 4 girls, out of maybe 50 or so, with pierced ears. So much for the myth that all children get their ears pierced.