Splurging for shabbos

momof2+?

Sun, Jun 03 2018, 7:54 pm

If a family is on a budget but splurges on extra special food for shabbos (not included in budget) - is this a beautiful level of emunah that Hashem pays everyone back for money spent for oneg shabbos? Or is this naive and stupid?

amother

Black

Sun, Jun 03 2018, 8:02 pm

It's a nice thing to do, but there's a limit. Splurging beyond what they normally spend is great (IMO). Splurging to an extreme is not. Theres no need to buy the most expensive cut of meat if meat in itself is a luxury, kwim? Also, I think it's just as praiseworthy to spend more effort preparing special foods for shabbos, even if the cost isn't tremendous. In other words, buy whatever you need to make 5 delicious dips and salads at home- no need to buy them ready made and spend that much more.

ra_mom

Sun, Jun 03 2018, 8:16 pm

momof2+? wrote:

Save the nicer foods for shabbos but don't accrue debt for the sake of shabbos.

thunderstorm

Sun, Jun 03 2018, 8:31 pm

ra_mom wrote:

Save the nicer foods for shabbos but don't accrue debt for the sake of shabbos.

This is what I do. I make extra special nice foods and spend money on meat etc for Shabbos but during the week we will have scrambled eggs for dinner instead since I spent more money for Shabbos so that we could have a special roast. My grocery bill remains the same but most of the food, nice fruits and desserts were used for Shabbos. I will make do the rest of the week on cheaper and simpler meals.

amother

Wheat

Sun, Jun 03 2018, 8:31 pm

momof2+? wrote:

How are you paying for the extra?
Does the extra cause you not to be able to have any savings at all?

amother

Turquoise

Sun, Jun 03 2018, 9:24 pm

momof2+? wrote:

If the money is not in the budget, where is it coming from?

I don’t think putting yourself more in debt is splurging.

bestme

Sun, Jun 03 2018, 9:52 pm

I know someone that splurge a lot every week for shabby . A few hundred dollars a week. He says that it's OK because it's for shabbos. I say that it is not OK because he is buying the food from borrowed money and I know that the people that he borrowed the money wants it back. He still splurge every week and he just finds new people to borrow money from and he makes them very upset.

amother

Blush

Sun, Jun 03 2018, 11:06 pm

The gemara in pesachim (in a series of rather strange instructions) says it's better to make your shabbos a weekday (have nothing special) than to rely on others. There's some discussion in the Rishonim about whether this means taking tzedaka or borrowing money. In any case, the advice is not to spend what you cannot afford.

amother

Babypink

Sun, Jun 03 2018, 11:49 pm

momof2+? wrote:

This is not naive or stupid! This is emunah. If you believe it you will see Hashem will pay you back for whatever you spent on shabbos. I have personal stories...

southernbubby

Mon, Jun 04 2018, 12:48 am

I learned that a person should go in debt for Yomtov but live within his means for Shabbos. Those that said, however, that if they can only afford meat once a week so they have it for Shabbos, are correct. The best foods that we can afford should be served on Shabbos, even if it means that we eat very cheaply all week. If a person would have to go in debt to buy that meat or chicken, they should ask a rav.

I do see, however, that there are organizations that help people with Shabbos expenses so in communities that have those organizations, it is less of an issue.

grace413

Mon, Jun 04 2018, 1:00 am

bestme wrote:

Oy. This will not end well.

heidi

Mon, Jun 04 2018, 1:02 am

bestme wrote:

This has nothing to do with Shabbos and you know it.

Mommyg8

Mon, Jun 04 2018, 1:22 am

Chazal say - Hashem says," rely on me and borrow and I will pay it back. " The Mishna berurah explains this that this is not true in all circumstances, Rabbi Scheinberg explains that it depends on the level of emunah a person has. At least this is the explanation I found on the internet....

moonstone

Mon, Jun 04 2018, 2:56 am

Teomima wrote:

Budgeting for the splurge is fine, but Shabbat is not Field of Dreams. "If you spend it, it will come" it's not a good philosophy for your financial stability.

I cannot like this post enough- both for the message and the way you said it LOL

I am amazed by how many people seem to live by that misguided philosophy.

essie14

Mon, Jun 04 2018, 3:03 am

Teomima wrote:

Budgeting for the splurge is fine, but Shabbat is not Field of Dreams. "If you spend it, it will come" it's not a good philosophy for your financial stability.

Love this.
Yes, I make nicer food for Shabbat but I work it into the budget. I don't spend recklessly.

amother

Coffee

Mon, Jun 04 2018, 3:28 am

A chasid once told my Rebba that if one spends for simchas then Hashem will help him and there is a special shefa of bracha. He told him that is not the case.
As for shabbos if it makes one go into debt then it's not fair to others that you borrow money from them because you need the extras on your shabbos table.
If your husband feels that it's necessary then do it but if not then don't do it.
If it's a relative doing it, then mix out. Compress

DVOM

Mon, Jun 04 2018, 6:48 am

momof2+? wrote:

A 'splerge,' by definition, is an extravagant purchase you make once in a while on things you would not ordinarily buy. If I spent 50 dollars on a roast, 50 on prepared dips and sides, 30 on fancy candy, and 20 on bakery cake twice a year, that would be a splurge. If I spent that every week it's not a splurge anymore, it's my lifestyle. If you've got the paycheck to afford a more extravagant weekly food purchase, that's great. If you don't, where are you getting the money from? I can't imagine enjoying eating food I can't afford to pay for. How does this enhance oneg shabbos?

We are a family on a budget. We budget for our best food for shabbos. Our weekday meals are really simple- eggs, pasta, tuna, lots of soups, some chop meat dishes stretched with veggies. Perhaps something similar could allow you to get the special foods for shabbos and not go over your grocery budget.

DVOM

Mon, Jun 04 2018, 6:50 am

amother wrote:

In my humble opinion, if your husband feels that it is 'necessary' to spend money that you don't have, you need to sit down and have a very serious budgeting conversation.