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Forum
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-> Guests
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amother
Seashell
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 Thu, Jun 28 2018, 1:45 pm
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Delores
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Thu, Jun 28 2018, 1:50 pm
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I would cook the chicken for this guest and then never invite them again.
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groovy1224
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Thu, Jun 28 2018, 1:51 pm
Very strange that she would bring it raw, but I guess I'd cook it and serve it to him.
No I would not make everyone else the same thing just so he matches. Lots of people bring specific foods with them when they eat out if they have a specific diet; there's no expectation for the host to serve everyone the same food.
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Shendellah
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Thu, Jun 28 2018, 1:52 pm
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I would cook the white chicken for that one person only and serve your normal dishes to everyone else. The request is a little odd, but kind of nice that they felt comfortable enough to make this request. (although I would have thought they would have given you cooked chicken to serve her husband).
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heidi
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Thu, Jun 28 2018, 1:52 pm
As someone who is perpetually on a diet and only eats white meat I feel for the guy. His wife is probably sick of coming home from meals and having him kvetch how hungry he is and he had nothing to eat.
That said, I think it's really weird to bring you a piece of raw chicken to cook. It would have been fine for her to bring it cooked and asked you to heat it up with your food. For now just throw some spices on it and cook it.
And think twice before inviting them again.
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SixOfWands
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Thu, Jun 28 2018, 1:53 pm
| amother wrote: | Just wondering what you guys think of this. We invited a couple for a Shabbos meal and she came over to bring a hostess gift AND a piece of chicken(RAW)  . She said "my husband likes only white meat and he goes home hungry when we eat out". B"H we are not lacking and have a nice assortment of food each meal. We've had them before and never noticed him not eating (although I don't stare at people while they eat) I think it would be obvious if he didn't eat. If someone did this to you what would you think of it? Would you use what she brought and just make it for him and everyone else will be served what I was planning on making or get white meat for everyone so he doesn't feel different? |
She brought you something to cook for him specifically? There are not enough nopes in nopeville for this one.
I get it. I don't eat dark meat chicken, and I don't eat chicken on the bone. Among other things. I don't consider myself fussy, but maybe others do, In any case, if that's all you serve, I'll eat veggies and salad and carbs, and thank you for the delicious meal. And if that's a problem for me, I'll either decline the next invitation (politely,without mention of the sub-par chicken), or tell you that I just got a package of chicken on super-sale and don't have room for it in the freezer, can I please bring a chicken dish to the meal.
If someone is on a special diet (for medical reasons), or otherwise has food restrictions, its OK to ask the host if they mind your bringing something for that person, or (more politely) for everyone. But its never OK to bring a piece of raw chicken to someone else, and tell them to cook it for you.
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tichellady
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Thu, Jun 28 2018, 1:55 pm
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She’s socially off. I would make the piece for him and be grateful that I am more adept socially than she is.
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amother
Papaya
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Thu, Jun 28 2018, 1:58 pm
Ask, how it should be cooked.
He may have a medical reason.
I would have cooked it though
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amother
Seashell
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Thu, Jun 28 2018, 2:04 pm
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OP here- Perhaps I should call her and ask her how to make it too....
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wifenmother
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Thu, Jun 28 2018, 2:21 pm
| amother wrote: | | OP here- Perhaps I should call her and ask her how to make it too.... |
I'd do that. If you don't blow it up and treat it matter of factly, everyone will feel comfortable.
I've had all kinds of requests over the years. I've hosted a sil while she was on OA (that was fun!), and others that wouldn't eat meat so our cholent only had chicken and turkey that week. I'm grateful that my guests actually feel comfortable enough to ask me for specifics when they need it, and don't get why some posters would be so offended. If we otherwise enjoy hosting them, I'd certainly invite them again.
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amother
Sapphire
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Thu, Jun 28 2018, 2:55 pm
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if it was cooked I wouldn't think twice. I find it weird that she sent it raw but I would probably ask how he likes it cooked.
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Ruchel
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Thu, Jun 28 2018, 2:57 pm
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I can see her being showed the kitchen... There is what there is. If you bring stuff you can eat it. But there is what there is.
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SixOfWands
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Thu, Jun 28 2018, 3:00 pm
| amother wrote: | | OP here- Perhaps I should call her and ask her how to make it too.... |
no no no no no no no no no.
Do not do this.
She will provide you with a recipe that uses heaven knows what ingredients and extra time to prepare.
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veiznisht
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Thu, Jun 28 2018, 4:33 pm
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My husband is very picky for specific health reasons but usually if we go somewhere he doesn't eat, I just have something ready for him to eat at home after the meal... for now I'd ask her if he has any other restrictions just so you don't end up making it, only to find he can't eat it.
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amother
Gold
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Thu, Jun 28 2018, 5:37 pm
I have asked, when invited out, for cooked eggs. One DC just eats eggs and challah on shabbos. I have only gone to family or friends and they were more than happy to accommodate.
The time to mention food requirements is at the invite. There is nothing wrong saying that "dh's diet is white meat only. Is that ok, or can I make a dish to serve?"
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zaq
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Thu, Jun 28 2018, 7:27 pm
Bizarro. What has this woman been smoking? I suppose I would have cooked it together with the rest of my chicken (or by itself if mine was already cooked) IF I were serving just dark meat, because what else would make sense? But, wait a moment. Just a naked piece of chicken, not in a package? Do you trust her kashrus?
The woman may have thought she was being considerate by not putting you to the expense of buying white meat, but in fact she was being astonishingly rude. She has forgotten that when you get invited to someone for a Shabbat meal, IT"S NOT ABOUT THE FOOD. It's about the company. If you find that you're hungry when you leave someone's house, either eat something before you go, or eat something when you go back home, or ask your host/ess if it's OK if you bring a DISH--enough for the whole group. And you bring it cooked.
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amother
Smokey
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Thu, Jun 28 2018, 7:32 pm
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It's an interesting thing to do though I wouldn't get all up in arms like everyone else here. In my circles it's pretty standard that everyone serves chicken Friday night. She probably just wanted you to add to your dark chicken dish?
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trixx
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Thu, Jun 28 2018, 7:40 pm
I'm on a diet where I can eat literally nothing and I still accept invites to my parents or mil for Shabbos. I either eat before or after we go, or bring food with me and eat in the kitchen after the meal. I certainly don't expect anyone to cook anything special for me and I sit though the meal and drink water.
Sorry but weird and also, I don't want other peoples chicken cooking with mine, as someone else said. A normal thing to do would have been to request when invited that if you're making chicken, make a white piece. To the poster that said the wife is sick of him complaining... Then cook your own white piece and serve to him when you get home.
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amother
Emerald
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Thu, Jun 28 2018, 7:42 pm
Ok, so obviously she doesn't have strong social skills. I have hosted people with various food preferences and allergies. And I have kids with strong food preferences and allergies. You can let the hostess know in advance, but for heaven's sake, don't bring over raw food for her to cook!
Either:
Bring cooked food with you to the meal
Eat before the meal so you aren't hungry
Eat when you get home
Or a combination of the above.
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amother
Smokey
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Thu, Jun 28 2018, 7:44 pm
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Are you so sure this lady isn't on imamother?
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