Packages in sleepover camp

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

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amother

Yellow

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 1:43 pm

Do you send packages to your teen in camp? If so, how often? What do you include in the package? Thanx.

1091

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 1:49 pm

Not food. But shampoo, a fan and extension cord and now waterproof ear plugs. Really whatever they call in a panic needing.

amother

Forestgreen

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 1:50 pm

If you can do this, please make an effort to. I was one of those people who never, ever (in ten years of camp) got a package. It would have made me feel so loved. Put in a little note and some of her favorite nosh. Or some homemade food that doesn't need refrigeration. Plus any little tchachke she might like.

Iymnok

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 1:51 pm

My mother would buy a flat rate envelope and stuff it to the max.
I’d say, whatever fits. Pictures are fun to have.

Chayalle

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 2:02 pm

I never did commercialized packages. Camp costs enough without that.

But when I could, I would bake a batch of cookies, or put together a nosh package, and send it with someone whom I knew was going and was okay taking it.

I did this once or twice. I always came for visiting day, though, and then they would give me a list....

ces

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 3:21 pm

I ordered a few bags of nosh and a jar of pickles from Target using Google Express. Free delivery to camp and after applying promo codes came out pretty cheap!

PinkFridge

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 4:23 pm

I didn't send packages. I sent the kids with plenty of goodies and money for the canteen. I did send letters regularly.
Oh, and of course we didn't visit either, in the camps that had visiting day.

They had a GREAT time! Most of them, most of the time.

amother

Forestgreen

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 4:24 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

I'm assuming you were far enough away that they didn't expect you to make the trip for visiting day...

PinkFridge

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 4:31 pm

amother wrote:

I'm assuming you were far enough away that they didn't expect you to make the trip for visiting day...

You assume correctly.
So kids are being visited AND being sent care packages. (Which I think some of our camps had rules about.)
Maybe that's why I have resilient kids Wink

amother

Forestgreen

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 5:42 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

You assume correctly.
So kids are being visited AND being sent care packages. (Which I think some of our camps had rules about.)
Maybe that's why I have resilient kids Wink

This is not directed at you specifically, but I hope parents don't justify these things by claiming it will make their children resilient.

Obviously if you live too far you wouldn't be expected to come. But if your children aren't aware of a good reason, it's so incredibly hurtful not to show up on visiting day. Whatever your personal take is on visiting day, when almost all the parents are there and you couldn't be bothered to make the trip, you're sending a message loud and clear that your children aren't that important and you don't really miss them all that much.

Sorry, this is obviously a sore topic for me. My mother never called, never sent packages (occasional letters that didn't say anything) and couldn't always muster up the interest in visiting on visiting day. She would probably say that I loved camp and I'm so resilient. But it left a lot of residual pain.

Again, PF, this is not directed at you. Just a general thought inspired by your post.

amother

Burgundy

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 5:44 pm

I would send something via Amazon prime once or twice.

amother

Tan

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 5:56 pm

I’m not in favor of sending packages on a regular basis, but my daughter’s birthday was this week and we sent her a (surprise) birthday cake.

thunderstorm

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 6:13 pm

amother wrote:

Are you me? It's also a very sore topic for me. I actually wrote a letter to my mother when I was a teen letting her know how unloved I felt and that she proved it by not bothering to ever come on visiting day , send packages, see me perform etc. I was literally the only person that stayed alone on camp grounds one year

crust

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 6:21 pm

thunderstorm wrote:

Hugs to you and to the poster you quoted. I am sorry you went through this.
You are so sweet and innocent for expressing that in a letter! Did your mother write back to you?

And when is your book being published? Maybe the potential publisher can start writing it by using all your posts as a first draft. (No teritzim accepted.)

amother

Forestgreen

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 6:29 pm

thunderstorm wrote:

I'm sorry

I so clearly remember that horrible pain I felt every time someone asked me who's coming to visit me. And wandering around camp feeling so very alone while everyone else was surrounded by family.

(The out of towners were taken on a special trip. It would have been way too mortifying to ask to join them. Basically announcing my unloved status, since I couldn't give anyone a good reason for having no visitors.)

amother

Seafoam

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 6:34 pm

Back in the day, the sleep away camp I attended did not allow packages and did not have a visiting day for the shorter session. I see the wisdom in that now.

amother

Rose

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 7:03 pm

I never send packages. My kids go off I don't send them with food either, but I give them canteen money. When I go up for visiting day, I bring non-edible presents and take them out to Walmart to get whatever. I also write daily.

I don't understand nosh packages. I literally saw kids going off to camp with 3 drawer plastic dressers filled with junk. DC said the kids constantly were getting food. It was so bad that the camp banned food packages.

Junk food does not equal love.

kneidel

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 7:17 pm

thunderstorm wrote:

Are you me?

What does this mean? It gets asked frequently here. No, you is you and me is me.
Each time I read it makes me think of the Kotzker's maxim:
If I am I because I am I, and you are you because you are you, then I am I and you are you. But if I am I because you are you and you are you because I am I, then I am not I and you are not you!
Bekitzur thunderstorm, you are you. Period. And a great 'you' too.
Smile

PinkFridge

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 7:27 pm

amother wrote:

Re your first paragraph: Excellent point, and I was thinking that if I were sending now, I would definitely send packages. You can't make your kids feel that they're missing out on everything. OTOH, they don't have to get everything. It's like kids in sem. Some have unlimited expense accounts. Some have to do things more modestly. It should be no surprise that mine were in the latter category. They couldn't do everything some of their friends could. Sometimes they had to make some real decisions. But they also didn't have to make do with nothing.

I'm sorry for your pain. And if nothing else, I guess it was a good thing that I said what I did to give you the opportunity not just to share but to spell out to parents that it really is important to show up for life.

(And do realize that I winked.)

Thunderstorm: you too.

You both got genuine hugs from me. (Amother, I liked your post. Thunderstorm, I appreciated yours but a like didn't seem appropriate.)

thunderstorm

Thu, Jul 05 2018, 7:49 pm

crust wrote:

She waited until I got home and tried to talk to me about it and started crying that she didn't realize I needed her so much. She thought my other siblings needed her more. It was NOT what a teenager wanted to hear and I hated when she cried like that . I felt really uncomfortable about it and then didn't want to talk about it after that.
Recently she told me she still has that letter I wrote.
Maybe I should write that book 😉

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