Would you let someone else nurse your baby?

FranticFrummie

Mon, Jul 23 2018, 9:28 am

When DD was born, I was in the hospital with her birth mother. I had been inducing lactation, so I had a good supply. It took 3 days for the birth mom's milk to come in. We took turns nursing DD, because I really wanted her to get the colostrum. I knew I ran a risk of the birth mom getting attached and changing her mind, but DD's health was more important.

When I brought DD home, I nursed for 3 months, but then her weight started to drop. A friend of mine had just given birth, and had enough milk to feed a small country. She was nursing full time AND pumping, and her freezer was full.

I felt OK taking the milk from her, because I know her well, she's not on any medication, and she's a very strict vegetarian. DD had donated milk until she was a year old.

I never worried about what was gross or not gross, DD's health was the only thing that mattered.

Bnei Berak 10

Mon, Jul 23 2018, 9:32 am

amother wrote:

Never ever ewwww. This is Just plain disgusting....
Donated milk I wouldn't give because you can never know the cleanliness of the women donating.

And the plants where they produce baby formulas, those you trust with cleanliness?

Notsobusy

Mon, Jul 23 2018, 9:35 am

amother wrote:

I once sent my baby to a babysitter with a bottle of EBM. She said he wouldn't take the bottle so she nursed him. To me it felt gross. She should have at least asked me what to do.

Wow! That's just wrong! I can't believe somebody would do that without permission. I hope you never used her again.

amother

Teal

Mon, Jul 23 2018, 9:44 am

Bnei break, why shouldn't the plants be clean? There's the health department doing inspections as with any other food plant.
No one inspects a women's kitchen & we can never know how she washes her supplies, or if it was sterilized, her hands where clean.....
at the plants no one actually touches the formula, it goes by machine.

amother

Pearl

Mon, Jul 23 2018, 9:53 am

amother wrote:

Do you trust anybody with anything?

(do you sterilize your supplies before breast feeding?)

Snickers18

Mon, Jul 23 2018, 10:10 am

I’ve only seen this level of disgust regarding the topic on this website. It is totally normal where I come from to do what it takes to nourish a child. Level of cleanliness? If a woman doesn’t do drugs, what is the concern? That her nipple is dirty? I have been in the fortunate position of being able to donate hundreds of ounces of milk to local babies in need, and I would much rather my baby be fed than scream with hunger, due to some puritanical notion that it’s gross and dirty. It is very convenient when my sisters and I babysit for each other. No need to pump milk and leave it or rush home because there’s the knowledge that we have the ability to nurse each other’s babies if necessary.

In reality, it has only happened a few times that my sister has needed to nurse my baby. When you’re taking your toddler to the ER in the middle of the night, you’re not thinking about an ew factor.

Bnei Berak 10

Mon, Jul 23 2018, 10:14 am

amother wrote:

Mother Teal, you haven't heard of the Remedia scandal which was in Israel around 2003 I think.
Google it and you will be shocked. Infants died and many of them became severly handicapped because they had a formula which lacked essential vitamins.

This was a German company and I'm sure the health department checked it too. So much for health departments and inspections...

Bnei Berak 10

Mon, Jul 23 2018, 10:27 am

Snickers18 wrote:

Thank you for speaking up! Thumbs Up

amother

Linen

Mon, Jul 23 2018, 11:18 am

I had my mom nurse my newborn cuz I was stuck at dr 4 days after birth with complications. My mom still had milk from nursing her 2 year old and she ended up nursing my baby abit since I wasn’t able to get home in time! I think family fsure I’m ok with in emergencies. Strangers? Gotta think twice

Last edited by amother on Sun, Mar 10 2019, 1:19 am; edited 1 time in total

Rachel Shira

Mon, Jul 23 2018, 11:24 am

I don’t think I would be okay with it except for in extremely extenuating circumstances (not just, the baby was crying and I wasn’t home yet). I would be fine with donated breastmilk from a trusted source though.
Not judging anyone who does this! This is just my personal comfort level.

cbs880

Mon, Jul 23 2018, 11:37 am

Slightly off topic but still interesting tidbit. Once met a giyoret who had a little baby. She was starting nursing school and her sister ( not Jewish) was going to be babysitting her daughter. Sister also had a little baby. The woman had planned to have her sister nurse her baby, in a case where the milk she left wasn't enough. a Rav told her she couldn't because the milk is not kosher....

amother

Teal

Mon, Jul 23 2018, 11:38 am

Another Pearl, do you really trust the cleanliness of some random women's kitchen & supplies? I've never donatoted milk & I do sterilize my pump. How do you know that the women donating washed the bottles properly? How do you know she didn't handle the milk with unclean hands??

Miri7

Mon, Jul 23 2018, 12:07 pm

I was nursed by my mother’s best friend who had a baby two days older than me, so to me it doesn’t seem gross or weird. I don’t think I’d like it if someone did it without me knowing (unless it was an emergency) but I’d be fine with a close friend or sister. I also wouldn’t want anyone giving my baby formula without my permission.

Before freezers and electric pumps it was a pretty common thing I think. I don’t get the “yuck” factor.

amother

Chocolate

Mon, Jul 23 2018, 12:18 pm

I have nursed one other baby besides mine, and that baby's mother has also nursed my baby. Full knowledge and permission on both sides. I would only let someone nurse my baby if I knew the woman really well (but I would also only leave my baby with someone I know really well), but I would do that before I would use formula.

amother

Taupe

Mon, Jul 23 2018, 1:44 pm

My mother nursed my son to see if my trouble with him nursing was mine or his.
I nursed my sister's baby when she was in the hospital for a procedure and needed to pump and dump for 24 hours after.

amother

Crimson

Mon, Jul 23 2018, 3:04 pm

I would, assuming it was someone whose kashrus I could trust. I have nursed siblings' babies and friends' babies (with permission).

Trust me, cows are much more gross than humans.

amother

Pearl

Mon, Jul 23 2018, 3:08 pm

amother wrote:

The question was "would you let someone else nurse your baby". The equipment comes clean in the shower.

weasley

Mon, Jul 23 2018, 3:27 pm

Funny dh always teases me to choose which one I'd be ore okay with - me nursing a random baby or a random women feeding my baby!!!

Ugh they both Gross me out!

amother

Teal

Mon, Jul 23 2018, 4:01 pm

Amother Pearl, it's just as gross someone nursing my baby with her sweaty breast. How can you be sure this mom showers regularly? Besides I think it's germs.