Wedding gifts, NY | Imamother

A_Mother_First

Sat, Oct 20 2018, 9:04 pm

Hi,

I have several weddings coming up, and I realize that norms change from place to place and from time to time, so I would like to ask please:
What is the average check amount that you give these days as a wedding gift in NY?
And
1) Would it depend on the number of people attending (you alone, or if you come with your
husband etc)
2) Would the amount depend on how lavish / fancy the wedding is?
3) Would the amount depend on your financial situation?
4) If you anticipate possibly being invited to a sheva brachos as well, would you increase the
gift amount?

Thanks for your help

doctorima

Sat, Oct 20 2018, 9:45 pm

Yes, I'd definitely give more if 2 are coming than if only 1. Yes, my financial resources often play into it. Yes, if I'm also going to Sheva Berachos I would give more. The venue isn't typically as much of a factor, although in extreme cases I may take it into account.

As far as actual amounts, so much depends on your resources and your relationship with the baal simcha, but I wouldn't give less than $50 if coming alone, and at least $72 if coming as a couple. Realistically, the average is probably more like $100 if alone and $180 as a couple, while plenty of others will do $180/$250. Hope that helps.

A_Mother_First

Tue, Oct 23 2018, 7:32 pm

doctorima wrote:

Yes, it does help. Thanks!

Just wondering: Who do you most frequently give the gift to at the wedding? I always feel unsure, and do not want the check to get lost.

amother

Cobalt

Tue, Oct 23 2018, 8:11 pm

A_Mother_First wrote:

Hi,
I have several weddings coming up, and I realize that norms change from place to place and from time to time, so I would like to ask please:
What is the average check amount that you give these days as a wedding gift in NY?
And
1) Would it depend on the number of people attending (you alone, or if you come with your
husband etc)
2) Would the amount depend on how lavish / fancy the wedding is?
3) Would the amount depend on your financial situation?
4) If you anticipate possibly being invited to a sheva brachos as well, would you increase the
gift amount?
Thanks for your help

1- yes more people= bigger gift, try to cover each plates cost
2- not usually, but at most weddings our check will pay for more than just our plate other than maybe extremely fancy weddings.
3- yes and no. If you can't pay and it's someone close to you it's ok to give what you can afford, I'm sure they'll want you no matter how much you're able to pay. If it's someone not so close and you can't afford it, consider going just for the chuppah or not at all.
4- wouldn't increase wedding gift just because we're invited to sheva brachos.

Don't bring the check with you to the wedding-it could get lost. mail it with the response card, or mail it separately or give it in person before or after if you're going to see them.