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PA school with a baby?!
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amother




Aubergine


Post  Thu, Oct 25 2018, 9:09 pm
(amother because discussed irl)
I was B"H recently accepted to my first choice PA school (yay!) after years of hard work, sweat, and tears (literally!) But once I got over the excitement of getting in, I starting getting EXTREMELY nervous. You see, I am B"H also expecting my first, also much anticipated, baby and will therefore be attending PA school with an approximately three-month-old infant.
I'm freaking out about PA school itself, about having a baby, and about surviving PA school with a baby! My husband plans on helping A LOT, especially with suppers and cleaning, but how will I sit through hours of classes sleep-deprived?

How will I come home after a full day of lectures, and study while taking care of the baby? I've heard so much about the overwhelming course load that is PA school (like a dog drinking from a fire hydrant), and my single friend who went through it said she cried often.
How will I do well (AKA not get Cs, which my program requires), maintain my sanity and shalom bayis, and not feel mom guilt for never spending time with my baby ( Sad )

If you are a current PA, or PA student, especially if you went through with kids, I need to know that this is doable! I did take hard classes in undergrad (Organic Chemistry, Advanced Physiology etc.), but I'm sure PA school is much harder.
Tips, reassurance, ideas are much appreciated and welcome!
Sorry for the long post!
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amother




Mauve


Post  Thu, Oct 25 2018, 9:17 pm
Your husband won't be "helping". You will be working together to take care of your (plural) child. You need to be equal partners in this once you get back to school. You are are sharing a responsibility - not him helping you with yours.

With that said. by month 3 most babies are sleeping long stretches and wake up, eat, and go back to sleep - all this takes 15 mins. Work with a sleep coach early on.

a friend of mine started med school pregnant and finished with 2 babies. I think her secret was paid help.
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amother




Pearl


Post  Thu, Oct 25 2018, 9:19 pm
Congratulations!
Eliana fine on Instagram and just started med school and has a baby. Message her she may have advice
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amother




Purple


Post  Thu, Oct 25 2018, 10:00 pm
I was single when I did school but it was very hard. Many classmates were mothers--I'm not sure how they did it. You'll probably need lots of help so you can study but it's doable. A 3 month old is a lot easier than a toddler or older child who needs more attention and wont stop talking to you. Good luck!
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amother




Aubergine


Post  Thu, Oct 25 2018, 10:48 pm
amother wrote:
Your husband won't be "helping". You will be working together to take care of your (plural) child. You need to be equal partners in this once you get back to school. You are are sharing a responsibility - not him helping you with yours.

With that said. by month 3 most babies are sleeping long stretches and wake up, eat, and go back to sleep - all this takes 15 mins. Work with a sleep coach early on.

a friend of mine started med school pregnant and finished with 2 babies. I think her secret was paid help.


No, my husband won't be "helping" me in your definition of the term, he will be doing all of it LOL
I'm reading some books on sleep training already, and they seem almost too simple; I'm scared my baby will defy all schedule. How early should I contact a sleep coach?
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amother




Aubergine


Post  Thu, Oct 25 2018, 10:51 pm
amother wrote:
I was single when I did school but it was very hard. Many classmates were mothers--I'm not sure how they did it. You'll probably need lots of help so you can study but it's doable. A 3 month old is a lot easier than a toddler or older child who needs more attention and wont stop talking to you. Good luck!


Thank you for your response! You're right about the infant being easier in that sense; that's what I tell myself every time I am SO tempted to defer!
With regard to school: how much did you actually feel you needed to study out of lecture? Every day?

To the responses about med school: From several relatives who have attended medical schools it seems like the first years aren't as full time-there is much more time given to study.
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amother




Mauve


Post  Thu, Oct 25 2018, 11:18 pm
amother wrote:
No, my husband won't be "helping" me in your definition of the term, he will be doing all of it LOL
I'm reading some books on sleep training already, and they seem almost too simple; I'm scared my baby will defy all schedule. How early should I contact a sleep coach?


OK - you used the word "helping".

You don't know what kind of challenges this baby will bring. You are a bright woman - and you have the problem solving skills to work out what needs to be worked out as the challenges present themselves.

Re sleep coach - I would start very early to get a routine going.. this book New-Contented-Little-Baby-Book is very routine oriented - which will help, I think.
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amother




Dodgerblue


Post  Thu, Oct 25 2018, 11:25 pm
My neighbor did it. She was very busy but she managed. She had a nanny so clean and watch her kids, so she camehome to a clean house, bathed and fed kids; all she needed to do was put them to bed.
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justforfun87




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Oct 26 2018, 1:15 am
amother wrote:
Thank you for your response! You're right about the infant being easier in that sense; that's what I tell myself every time I am SO tempted to defer!
With regard to school: how much did you actually feel you needed to study out of lecture? Every day?

To the responses about med school: From several relatives who have attended medical schools it seems like the first years aren't as full time-there is much more time given to study.

NEVER defer school or you may never go back. Infants are easy, just get it done.
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amother




Purple


Post  Fri, Oct 26 2018, 5:46 am
amother wrote:
Thank you for your response! You're right about the infant being easier in that sense; that's what I tell myself every time I am SO tempted to defer!
With regard to school: how much did you actually feel you needed to study out of lecture? Every day?

To the responses about med school: From several relatives who have attended medical schools it seems like the first years aren't as full time-there is much more time given to study.

I studied a LOT. The first month of semester always seemed pretty light in my school. We'd often start out with one lecture a day and no real tests. It's easier to forget to study then because there is no pressure to study immediately. If you stay on top of it though and really understand the information and briefly review regularly when the hell that is the second month hits it won't be too bad. Make sure you have relaxation time with your baby. That's important too. I used to reliatej to lectures in the car but I had a pretty long commute.
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amother




Wheat


Post  Fri, Oct 26 2018, 6:09 am
I think it really depends on which PA school you are going to. They are all very difficult but some are significantly harder than others. The one I went to only had one person with children and she did not make it past the first semester. I did not have any kids at the time and I didn't even have time to eat or have personal care because I was constantly studying. I had multiple major tests daily. During some of my rotations, I had to be at the hospitaI at 5am to do pre-rounds and the hospital was almost an hour away! (we were unable to choose our rotations.) I was only released for the day at the whim of the attending which was unpredictable. I know you don't want to hear this but I would have for sure dropped out if I had kids.

You cannot compare to someone in med school as their workload is spread over 4 years and therefore more feasible. My sister was in med school the same time I was in PA school and she seemed to have a lot more free time than me!

With that said, I know many people who went to Touro with kids who managed just fine.
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amother




Sapphire


Post  Fri, Oct 26 2018, 6:12 am
In terms of sleep training, give formula. Formula-fed babies go to sleep with their tummies fuller, which means they tend to sleep better.

I got my babies used to drinking an extra bottle before they go to sleep very early on. This helped them sleep 8-10 hours at 2-2.5 months old.
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amother




Purple


Post  Fri, Oct 26 2018, 8:36 am
amother wrote:

With that said, I know many people who went to Touro with kids who managed just fine.

I went to Touro and I don't think it was easier than other programs. It was very hard. Yes, the first month was pretty light but the second month and rest of semester was up to 12 hour days with multiple tests. I couldn't do it with kids though most of my frum classmates had kids and some even had babies during the program (and were only allowed 1 week off during didactic year!) and did really well. The truth is, my frum classmates happened to have been incredibly smart. I couldn't do it.
And while the didactic part of med school may be lighter their rotations are the same (they just have more of them) and they have residency for years with brutal schedules (the law limiting their hours was revoked so...yea).
Good luck!
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amother




Lime


Post  Fri, Oct 26 2018, 9:26 am
I know a couple of people in Touro PA school (LI). Extremely unprofessional program—disorganized, disrespectful to students, no set schedule (they add and cancel classes at their discretion—including evenings, Sundays, Friday afternoons, erev Yom Tov) and allow students ONE unexcused absence a year (excused is with dr note only.) Students seem scared to speak up bec getting accepted to PA. School is so competitive. Just know what you’re getting into.
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amother




Forestgreen


Post  Fri, Oct 26 2018, 9:35 am
I know a couple of women who went to PA school - many told me it was completely manageable work load (especially my friends who went to downstate)
One even had two kids (one during school) and said it was easy!!
Depends on the school, and how studious you are but don’t worry - you’ll be great!!! And so glad when ur done
Good luck!
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amother




Denim


Post  Fri, Oct 26 2018, 9:46 am
I didn't go to PA school but went to a similarly challenging graduate school (think med. school, law school, dental school etc.) I had my baby in the middle of my program on a break but went back to school like 2 weeks later. I was SO nervous and thought it was going to be horrible but... it wasn't! I think the key is having a lot of help by people you trust. One of the biggest things for me was that I have an amazing babysitter. It really helps knowing my baby is with someone that I trust. We also have her for longer then my program hours are (like if I'm only in school until 5 we have her until 7). Most of the times she leaves when I get home, but if I need some time to go grocery shopping or study she can stay.
Also, be understanding with yourself and recognize the benefits of having a baby in school. If one week you can't make a fancy shabbos, or have to choose between doing something in the house or spending an extra hour with your baby- spend the hour with your baby! To be honest, my house is rarely perfectly clean but I feel like I get to spend a lot of my time with my baby, which is way more important.
My baby is now almost a year old and I'm still in school. I appreciate that I get breaks (winter break, summer) to spend a few weeks totally stress free with him. I also as a personal decision didn't breastfeed him. I tried but it just never worked for my schedule and he wasn't great at it. I think it really helped him sleep better and this way my husband could do most of the nights with a bottle. Obviously this is a really personal decision but the most important thing is to be understanding with yourself and do what's best for the baby, but also what is best for you. Whatever you choose, you're going to be great!
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amother




Apricot


Post  Fri, Oct 26 2018, 10:10 am
amother wrote:
I know a couple of people in Touro PA school (LI). Extremely unprofessional program—disorganized, disrespectful to students, no set schedule (they add and cancel classes at their discretion—including evenings, Sundays, Friday afternoons, erev Yom Tov) and allow students ONE unexcused absence a year (excused is with dr note only.) Students seem scared to speak up bec getting accepted to PA. School is so competitive. Just know what you’re getting into.


My husband did went to a different PA school, which is quite highly ranked, contrary to Touro, and it was basically the same as what you are describing, unfortunately. They basically told the students in the beginning that 'we own you now', so don't plan anything or expect that you can have a life of your own besides for school.
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amother




Purple


Post  Fri, Oct 26 2018, 10:25 am
amother wrote:
I know a couple of people in Touro PA school (LI). Extremely unprofessional program—disorganized, disrespectful to students, no set schedule (they add and cancel classes at their discretion—including evenings, Sundays, Friday afternoons, erev Yom Tov) and allow students ONE unexcused absence a year (excused is with dr note only.) Students seem scared to speak up bec getting accepted to PA. School is so competitive. Just know what you’re getting into.

They are unprofessional and play games to keep up their "100% pass rate" (not confirming students completed the program if they are concerned that they wont pass their boards). From what I hear a lot of programs are the same. It's a means to an end. I would definitely not recommend Touro as a first choice.
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amother




Natural


Post  Fri, Oct 26 2018, 10:30 am
I don't know exactly what PA school is like but I went through two rigorous years of nursing school, which I started off with a 5 month old baby (my first child) and then had a baby the first year during school. I had him right before pesach so I had about 3 weeks off time I had to go back to school. My third was born while I was in my bachelor's program, a week before the semester started, I was in school the day before his bris. I managed to do well in school cdespite having babies and having kids close in age. It was hard but with a supportive husband and family I was able to manage. I think that is the key to being successful in school with a baby, support system and motivation to succeed. Good luck!
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agreer




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Oct 26 2018, 1:43 pm
OP, don't even think about nursing. Take that pressure off of yourself. Give formula.

You can't sleep train a baby before 4 months old, but some babies sleep better than others. Yours might be one, so hope for the best.

Can you afford a baby nurse? If you can, get one when you start school to put the baby on a schedule. It will make everyone's life easier.

Good luck.
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