My cleaning help is giving me the silent treatment

amother

Dodgerblue

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 1:59 pm

Apparently for misdemeanor on my part that I told her that I'll pack away the folded laundry because I just reorganized the drawers

Cheiny

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 2:04 pm

amother wrote:

Apparently for misdemeanor on my part that I told her that I'll pack away the folded laundry because I just reorganized the drawers

Ridiculous. Someone you’re paying for a service has no right to take offense at how you’d like your housework done or not done, much less to treat you disrespectfully by giving you the silent treatment! Honestly I’d fire her.

amother

Dodgerblue

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 2:25 pm

She likes to play these pranks on me. Shes older than me. She can not handle me telling her anything about how I want anything in my house done. She's likes to be boss here. If I let her do her thing she's fine....I rely on her & don't have another one, hard for me to find another one. If she doesnt respond to me & doing her work I'm ok with it....because worse treatment she can give me is not to come at all....I'll let her "blooz zich ois" & hopefully she'll get over it.

heidi

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 2:30 pm

We know nothing about this situation.
Maybe OP works full-time and usually leaves all the organizing/arranging to her housekeeper. So she's hurt to suddenly be usurped.
Another reason housekeeper might be upset is (now take a deep breath and get ready for this radical idea) she takes pride in her work and feels you are not giving her enough credit.
Whatever the reason, OP, your housekeeper is a real live person. She breathes the same air and bleeds red just like you.
As an employee I would expect my boss to apologize if she hurt my feelings.
Though the silent treatment might not be the most mature or best way to get her feelings across, it would behoove you to discuss this with your housekeeper in a mutually respectful conversation.

33055

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 2:33 pm

amother wrote:

Sounds terrible that she is bullying you. Everytime I was in that situation, I found a replacement.

heidi

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 2:34 pm

amother wrote:

Wow. Just saw this.
I have no words.
Your amazing attitude of disregard and ungratefulness is truly appalling .
I wish your housekeeper luck.

33055

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 2:46 pm

heidi wrote:

Wow. Just saw this.
I have no words.
Your amazing attitude of disregard and ungratefulness is truly appalling .
I wish your housekeeper luck.

The woman is making her uncomfortable in her own home. Where should OP go to be comfortable if not her home? The employee is immature and inflexible.

Your attitude is amazing. How dare someone come in and bully a younger woman? The lady is giving her the silent treatment IN HER HOME.

FranticFrummie

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 2:55 pm

This sounds like wounded pride. She reminds me of a good friend of mine. I love her dearly, but sometimes it's all I can do to keep from strangling her.

When she helped me move, she decided to take over the kitchen and unpack things in a way that made perfect sense to her, but not to me. She wasn't living with me, she didn't have to cook in my kitchen, but it had to be her way. I tried to make a suggestion, and she got really upset.

I figured out that for the sake of shalom, I'd be better off letting her do her thing, and then when she went back home I would redo it all to my liking. Now my kitchen works for me, and she is none the wiser.

Sometimes you have to lose the battle, to win the war.

amother

Dodgerblue

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 2:59 pm

Heidi so you are saying I should let her be bal habayis in my home....which she anyways is already because I can't tell her a thing what & how I want things done, bc she's overly sensitive....ususally it's me staying quiet for that reason....but I can't believe that your making me into the aggressor here because I told her that I'll put away the laundry & she doesnt have to do it?! Huh?

amother

Dodgerblue

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 3:08 pm

I told her abt the laundry yest when she was folding that I'll put it away. Today she first didn't arrive. Called her on phone didn't respond. Later in day she called me that she will come only to finish ironing what she started yest & didn't finish but she wont wash anything in my house today. When I told her Hello today she didn't respond. She ironed a bit & left my house without telling me goodbye. So who's bullying whom here. I didn't speak to her today otherwise, I just let her do her thing. I hope it blows over fast.

Raisin

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 3:09 pm

She sounds like an unpleasant person but if you don't want to let her go there is nothing you can do.

Of course you need to treat her nicely, but she is the employee and it is your house. If you want to put the laundry away, you shouldn't have to endure sulks from her.

amother

Honeydew

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 3:19 pm

amother wrote:

You know there are basically two philosophies - the "do what I say or else buh-bye" and the lets figure out how we can mutually respect each other as employer and employee - the second takes more effort, and some patience. The first tends to only be doable when you live in a place with an abundance of resources - ie lots of women looking to do cleaning work.

amother

Dodgerblue

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 3:50 pm

I can't communicate with her when she gets into those crazy moods. No I didn't order her, or yell or raise my voice or tell her strictly you need to this or else....I told her nicely that I want to put it away because I made a new arrangement with the kids underwear, where I separated in two sep drawers diff sizes, while she was away for last two weeks. (Or to show her new place-which she didn't want listen to)
When she started folding the underwear & put both sizes together was trying to tell her....but she shut me off saying...she is putting into one pile& she'll let me put it away....&started threatening me that if I didn't put it away when she comes back.....then.... today this.

Metukah

Thu, Nov 01 2018, 3:50 pm

Ruchel wrote:

Would you do THAT to your boss? Because she's the boss. Yes. That's how it works.

When you say she's the boss, you mean op, right?

Just clarifying because I'm not sure if you are saying the cleaner is?