Why only in New York/NJ

33055

Mon, Nov 12 2018, 5:14 pm

Simple1 wrote:

Lots of people in Lakewood who care about looks buy from Target or TJMaxx.

And lots of people in Monsey who care about their looks buy from Target and TJ Maxx. You can look good and trendy buying clothes from those stores.

bsy

Mon, Nov 12 2018, 5:16 pm

happy12 wrote:

Live in Brooklyn and dont care what others think.
Yes thats me walking around Boro Park in a snood.

Me too

amother

Aquamarine

Mon, Nov 12 2018, 5:18 pm

amother wrote:

I didn't say "everyone" in New York cares about their looks. Of course there are those who dont. But its definitely more in New York than any other large Jewish population.

I think it’s a certain kind of the Jewish population. In my experience, having lived in several worlds, the more to the right a community is, the more they care about externals = tznius, which translates into an overall mild obsession about appearances.

thepickled

Mon, Nov 12 2018, 5:25 pm

Mommyg8 wrote:

Actually, I was just thinking the exact same thing.

I was recently in a pizza store (yes, I buy pizza embarrassed

) and I noticed one young woman after another, looks to kill, size zero zero - no, this is not common anywhere else and size zero zero is very unlikely to be natural.

Why are we so into looks and material things? Shouldn't we be a little more spiritual?

Sorry, just my personal rant. And now going back to our regular programming...

Please don’t mix up materialism and clothing size. “Size zero zero is unlikely to be natural” is quite the assumption.

Ema of 5

Mon, Nov 12 2018, 5:32 pm

pesek zman wrote:

I live in Manhattan and in my circles no one cares. My clothes are from target and TJ maxx

I’m in Bayswater. No one here cares in comparison to others, but people DO care about their looks for themselves and for their husbands. My clothes are all from bags that people have given me :-)

amother

Lemon

Mon, Nov 12 2018, 5:44 pm

I think wherever yidden live in close proximity & is one mainstream type there's ton of peer pressure. Add to fact people living in buildings with neighbors into your nose.( when a neighbor comes to borrow something I have to think that maybe she saw my messy house....bc door is right across my kitchen table & if I open my shades my alley neighbor can look straight in....in every room our windows meet 8 ft apart...) Also the schools that don't have uniforms are more into clothing. As they dress everyday to school. If a girl is not dressed to the nines in brand clothing she becomes a social outcast..certain social standing attached with better clothes....so happy I grew up w uniforms & my dgtr will have uniforms.

amother

Babyblue

Mon, Nov 12 2018, 7:12 pm

When I think of people buying expensive designer clothing, into externals, spending fortunes to produce and maintain attractive appearance, the city that comes to mind is not NYC or in the area of NYC.
Let's just say I can clothe my entire family nicely for a year on one of their pocketbooks and they have one to match each outfit.

southernbubby

Mon, Nov 12 2018, 7:18 pm

Detroit doesn't seem as fixated on buying high end clothes. Target and TJ is probably the go to place here. There are some small frum clothing dealers here and a lot of people go there but it isn't exactly 13th Avenue.

SuperWify

Mon, Nov 12 2018, 7:20 pm

Going to be very honest here.

I live in Lakewood and I care about what I wear.

Very much.

I feel good when my shaitels set, I have some makeup on, my clothing are stylish, clean and fit right.

Even though I don’t need others approval I do like to keep up with the trend because I enjoy shopping, styling and fashion in general.

I was always taught that I’m a bas melech and as such I must present myself like one.

I happen to think a well dressed (and behaved Smile

) family is a kiddish Hashem.

Is this an issue?

southernbubby

Mon, Nov 12 2018, 7:25 pm

SuperWify wrote:

) family is a kiddish Hashem.

Is this an issue?

I guess it is probably a matter of how it affects your life. I mean, if we said Tehillim all day, when would we have time for imamother? Wink

I do see some communities where that is the top priority and maybe it should be but I don't see myself fitting into that.

amother

Sapphire

Mon, Nov 12 2018, 7:31 pm

I live OOT and hate going “in town” for family simchas because people won’t stop talking about how gorgeous my DD is. (She’s been approached randomly by modeling people). They say it to me, to her, it just doesn’t stop.

I’m always so grateful to leave and go back OOT where literally no one talks about it and she’s allowed to be a normal kid focused on more important things. She doesn’t understand why people are so “obsessed” with looks.

In our experience, this happens in NY and LA.

amother

Burlywood

Mon, Nov 12 2018, 9:12 pm

I live in Flatbush, and wear a long denim skirt and sneakers everyday. Yes, I get dressed up when I have to but only if the occasion mandates it.

ra_mom

Mon, Nov 12 2018, 9:19 pm

amother wrote:

Why is it that only in New York & Lakewood (that I have observed) do people people care so much about their looks & care even more about how others look??? In Israel, London, Stamdord Hill, Montreal..... everyone dresses how they like & no one cares or comments!! Am I the only one that thinks it's a New York thing?? And why is it so??

Who cares about how others look? Did someone say something about the way you look? This is New York where everybody lives for themselves and minds their own business. Exploding anger

It sounds like you're the only one who cares. Tongue Out

professor

Mon, Nov 12 2018, 9:36 pm

happy12 wrote:

Live in Brooklyn and dont care what others think.
Yes thats me walking around Boro Park in a snood.

Same here. I dress up only for weddings

tigerwife

Mon, Nov 12 2018, 9:43 pm

Most of the people I know who care about looks don’t really care about how others look. Why does it bother you if people look good?

33055

Mon, Nov 12 2018, 9:52 pm

Ruchel wrote:

Such circles exist everywhere. But only in NY do I see people who are FRUM FRUM, and so enmeshed with not only physical appearance, but Hollywoody one. I cannot even BUY a size zero in a regular shop in my country, if it isn't a short or teen shop. Says it all.

There's a size deflation in the US because we have vanity sizing. A US zero is a UK 4.

chestnut

Mon, Nov 12 2018, 10:00 pm

amother wrote:

According to this, Chassidim should be on the top of those who care about externals and have a mild obsession about appearances. It's far from there, even with expensive strollers and matching kids.

amother

Amber

Mon, Nov 12 2018, 10:14 pm

Ra-mom, I started this thread because of all other threads here about fashion & how people care how they and everyone else look. So I made an observation between NY and other Jewish communities I've been to. I didn't say that I care. I actually don't. I started this conversation just for interest. Nothing personal against anyone.