Push a 3 yr old to wear his yarmulke??

gonewiththewind

Wed, Nov 28 2007, 12:03 pm

My son turned 3 last March. Much of the day his yarmulke is in his hand or elsewhere, and it rarely seems to be on his head. When I would occasionally say to him "put on your yarmulke" he would do so w/o complaining, but then soon it would be off again. My feeling is not to push it too much. He is only 3, and he does not really have a negative feeling about it. Recently my husband has been getting more strict with him about wearing it, such as saying he won't get his shabbos candy if he doesn't wear it, but it seems to make him react with "no I'm not gonna." My husband feels it is not something beyond what is normal to expect from a child his age. Also, there are spiritual aspects for the neshama and development of yiras shamayim. That's true, but my instinct is still to let him be and let him mature into it w/o feeling coerced. What do you think? Should we make an issue about it or let it be? And don't say call a Rav. It is not really that type of question.

Kumphort

Wed, Nov 28 2007, 12:55 pm

I think a lot can be accompolished by wording things differently, instead of threatening, you wont get candy if you dont wear a yalmukah, how bout, "big boys who wear yalmukah's will get candy, or something positive.

I dont know if your open to other options, but maybe try another type of yalmuka that might stay on his head better, even if its not the 'type' you usually wear.

point out how big his father is, and other big boys who wear yalmaka's so he will want to be like them.

gryp

Wed, Nov 28 2007, 1:01 pm

I had a shock when on the day after his upshernish my 3 yo (now 4) didn't seem to remember that his yarmulke belonged on his head after he had been wearing it every day since 20 months.

It was really easy to solve though, since I had bought a second yarmulke in advance in case his old one didn't fit well after having all his hair cut off. Every time his yarmulke was off his head I simply asked him which one is he going to put on, and he chose one. After about 3 days of doing that, it's never left his head.