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Let's Write the Next Great Frum Novel
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Iymnok









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 5:44 am
Wait, did she cause her friend to get into an accident by talking on the phone while driving?
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watergirl









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 6:01 am
Hashem_Yaazor wrote:
You forgot the setting option of that non-existent community in the middle of nowhere but yet near enough to other fictitious big cities. And these non-existent small cities still have multiple school options, a kollel, competing sheitel machers, and everything a bigger town would have, even though it's considered small. The only thing missing is the fancy restaurant that they have to travel a half an hour for to get to the big city.

You’re right!
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amother




Lime


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 7:40 am
watergirl wrote:
Wearing a hoodie, hood up, jeans-pants with frayed cuffs covering his Doc Martin combat boots. His ever present Apple Airpods in his ears blasting angry rock music. Where did he get the money for his Apple device?

The lanky teenager seemed quite out of place in this part of town. The passerbys threw him curious glances, the kids on the yellow busses, noses pressed into windows, pointed at him, but Joey was on a mission... As teenagers often are, when Joey felt passionate about something no deterrent would block him from reaching his goal.
Phone in hand, incased in the sound coming from the earbuds, Joey's mind wandered back to the last game. As the rising star of the Maccabee youth basketball team the boy was often approached by other teenagers. Some wanted an autograph or a snapshot, some would just want to rehash the game. The last game though was different. As the Maccabee team disembarked their bus they were greated by a swarm of anti-Israel protesters, shaking their posters. But why? They were no Israelis! So what that he is Jewish? Why was he responsible for what people do half a globe over?
"Why do they hate us?" Joey asked his dad later that night, but his father just waved him off. As an FBI agent Mr. J. Cohen Sr. saw hate crimes daily. No, Jews didn't have a claim to the most mistreated. They definitely cried anti-Semitism way too much.
So here Joey was, a teenager in the heart of the Jewish neighborhood on a Monday morning. A teenager on a mission to understand the big " why, oh why do they hate us" question.
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cuties' mom









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 7:43 am
Joey couldn't believe how far Becky had gone to ruin her life. They had been best friends since they were in diapers, and he always believed he would marry her until she became orthodox. Now she was one of those thieving Jews, or at least she married one. He didn't understand why Becky had to change everything. If she would have stayed conservative, she could have been a rabbi instead of a criminal's wife! Now, he had to question his childhood friend about her crooked husband's activities and find out how involved she was.
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mommy2379









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 8:51 am
cuties' mom wrote:
Joey couldn't believe how far Becky had gone to ruin her life. They had been best friends since they were in diapers, and he always believed he would marry her until she became orthodox. Now she was one of those thieving Jews, or at least she married one. He didn't understand why Becky had to change everything. If she would have stayed conservative, she could have been a rabbi instead of a criminal's wife! Now, he had to question his childhood friend about her crooked husband's activities and find out how involved she was.

spurned lover- er, friend! awesome.
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PinkFridge









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 8:52 am
mommy2379 wrote:
Oh Pink Fridge- this is a FRUM novel. things aren't allowed to make too much sense, plot holes and head scratching are required in the genre.


No, I figured it out. Yiddle mit a fiddle Yekusial Berachya entered it in his caller ID carelessly. The kind of fatal error made on p. 30 that impacts the next 400 pages, when all you want to do is bang YYB's head against the wall for doing something so ridiculously, yet necessary for the plot, stupid.
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InnerMe









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 9:50 am
amother wrote:
Rivka stared at Joey as she self consciously patted her sheitel. She was surprised Joey still recognized her. He put his hand out. Rivka’s mind was going haywire as her brain quickly imagined how the Rebbetzin would handle a situation like this. “Joey, I can’t shake your hand because of religious reasons. Nothing personal.”
Joey narrowed his eyes. “You think you’re better than the rest of us now, eh?” Rivka shivered as she silently began davening to Hashem. “Please Hashem, I will never ever complain about Yaakov Yosef Baruch again, I will always be nice to my mother in law and I’ll even forgive her for the nasty comments she made last night, I’ll start davening three times a day and perhaps this will inspire Yaakov Yitzchak Baruch to do the same.” The tears slowly started falling as Joey rummaged through a fat file. Clearly, it was judgement day.


I am catching up and this whole thread is LOL hysterical!!!!
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InnerMe









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 9:52 am
gingertop wrote:
OMG!! I did not see that coming!

Yeah, it's called situational irony. Us, frum writers, excel at this!!! LOL
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InnerMe









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 9:52 am
Rubber Ducky wrote:
We can just frum it up a little. Remember, she's a BT. Like this:

...They spent hours and hours in the Land of Make Believe until she started kindergarten. And then everything changed.

LOL LOL
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InnerMe









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 10:02 am
cuties' mom wrote:
Joey couldn't believe how far Becky had gone to ruin her life. They had been best friends since they were in diapers, and he always believed he would marry her until she became orthodox. Now she was one of those thieving Jews, or at least she married one. He didn't understand why Becky had to change everything. If she would have stayed conservative, she could have been a rabbi instead of a criminal's wife! Now, he had to question his childhood friend about her crooked husband's activities and find out how involved she was.


Looking at Becky in her flowered kerchief and modest attire he couldn't help but wonder what it was that made Becky leave her good life and sacrifice it for...this.

Was there really something deeper here? Something was gnawing at him...

***
"Grandma! Grandma! Grandma!! Wake up!!!" Little 5 year old Joey was panicking.
Was his grandma dying on him while he was supposed to keep watch over her for a few minutes.

Grandma opened her eyes a bit.
"Why are you yelling, Joey?"
And as if she was talking in the midst of a dream she said "Joey.. one day I won't be here. There is a big secret that I need to tell your mother but I'm afraid she won't take it well. It has something to do with the neighbors Hanukah candles..."
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thunderstorm









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 10:10 am
Rivka finally managed to utter "How can I help you? Is everything OK?"
"We have some questions for you Mrs. Ba-ruck, can you give us a few minutes of your time please?"
The first thought was that the kids will be walking in the door any minute. How awful it would be for them to see mommy being interrogated . But she felt pressured to comply and found herself saying "Sure, sure come on in".
Rivka led the officers past the grand entrance to the dining room on the right. "Please have a seat" , she said. "Can I offer either of you a drink ? Coffee? Water? Juice?"
"N-no thanks ma'am, we're all good ".
And with that the three of them took their seats at the large mahogany table.
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pizza4









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 10:28 am
Yisrael Yaakov Baruch adjusted his yarmulke and wondered if he could continue keeping the voicemail message from Rivka. He didn't usually listen to the voicemail; he felt it was the womans thing to do, but it was so bashert that he had this time. He recalled the high pitched voice, "and I'm sure you two will love the opportunity to join this exclusive event at The Best Dining Experience with us! It's said to be exquisite, with lots of Very Important VIPS! Please get back to me as soon as you can!"
Yisrael Yaakov Baruch shook his head agitatedly. What in the world was his mother in law thinking? Yes, it was a kosher restaurant, but they b'shita never went out to eat! Who can know for certain that the hashgacha was indeed reliable? And it was sure to be a mixed event, with men and women mingling, probably lots of alcohol too! There would definitely be lots of handshaking between the genders. How terrible how standards have dropped.
Oh, why oh why did she need to include them in her social affairs?
It was absolutely a good move on his part to immediately delete the fateful message. It definitely would be a zchus for him, and get him out the schmaltz mess.
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fsr









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 10:49 am
syrima wrote:
The octogenarian Rav of Ohavei Sheinah

Who learned in Yeshivas Son'ei Eirus...

This thread is GREAT, I haven't laughed so hard in a while.
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InnerMe









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 10:55 am
pizza4 wrote:
Yisrael Yaakov Baruch adjusted his yarmulke and wondered if he could continue keeping the voicemail message from Rivka. He didn't usually listen to the voicemail; he felt it was the womans thing to do, but it was so bashert that he had this time. He recalled the high pitched voice, "and I'm sure you two will love the opportunity to join this exclusive event at The Best Dining Experience with us! It's said to be exquisite, with lots of Very Important VIPS! Please get back to me as soon as you can!"
Yisrael Yaakov Baruch shook his head agitatedly. What in the world was his mother in law thinking? Yes, it was a kosher restaurant, but they b'shita never went out to eat! Who can know for certain that the hashgacha was indeed reliable? And it was sure to be a mixed event, with men and women mingling, probably lots of alcohol too! There would definitely be lots of handshaking between the genders. How terrible how standards have dropped.
Oh, why oh why did she need to include them in her social affairs?
It was absolutely a good move on his part to immediately delete the fateful message. It definitely would be a zchus for him, and get him out the schmaltz mess.


YYB reminisced about the hashgacha of his tear filled davening earlier today (or yesterday?). He knew that his listening to this message was nothing short of a miracle. He learned how powerful sincere prayer could be, and that it's truly mitzvah goreres mitzvah.

Who knows what going out to a restaurant may have lead to?

He sighed in relief.
Only to discover Rivka standing behind him with a funny look on her face.
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pause









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 11:46 am
I'm just trying to help:
Yochanan
Yisroel
Yaakov
Yitzchak
Yerachmiel
Ya'ir
Yuval
Yosef
Yigal
Yehuda
Yonasan
Yehoyachan
Yehoyakim
Yirmiyahu
Yecheskel
Yoram
Yissachar
Yehoshua
Yedidya
Yishai
Yerucham
Yiftach
Yoel
Yonah
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thunderstorm









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 12:06 pm
pause wrote:
I'm just trying to help:
Yochanan
Yisroel
Yaakov
Yitzchak
Yerachmiel
Ya'ir
Yuval
Yosef
Yigal
Yehuda
Yonasan
Yehoyachan
Yehoyakim
Yirmiyahu
Yecheskel
Yoram
Yissachar
Yehoshua
Yedidya
Yishai
Yerucham
Yiftach
Yoel
Yonah


Why Oh Why Oh Why is it so hard to get this tchocka of a man's name straight ????

Is it the narrowing of our eyes that's causing us to have trouble reading his name correctly?
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SuperWify









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 12:37 pm
I’m so confused. How many joeys are there in this story?
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fsr









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 12:46 pm
SuperWify wrote:
I’m so confused.

That's the point!
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watergirl









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 12:52 pm
SuperWify wrote:
I’m so confused. How many joeys are there in this story?

12
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mfb









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 12:59 pm
Loving this thread
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