Would you consider having a baby at 47?

Wed, Dec 05 2018, 4:55 pm

amother wrote:

biology.

I cannot even count how many frum women have babies at that age

amother

Maroon

Wed, Dec 05 2018, 4:58 pm

Sebastian wrote:

Statistics

I was old and overweight when I conceived naturally and gave birth to a full-term baby. Statistically, it was improbable. Sometimes real lives defy statistics.

amother

Maroon

Wed, Dec 05 2018, 4:59 pm

tf wrote:

I cannot even count how many frum women have babies at that age

There are loads of us.

amother

Maroon

Wed, Dec 05 2018, 5:01 pm

thunderstorm wrote:

I think the question is more whether the OP will have the kochos to raise a young child at that age. She will be around 70 when marrying off that child. I can't imagine that being physically easy to do.

Marrying a child off is hard emotionally whether you are 36 or 66! Not sure why it would be any harder physically!

amother

Seagreen

Wed, Dec 05 2018, 5:02 pm

amother wrote:

I was old and overweight when I conceived naturally and gave birth to a full-term baby. Statistically, it was improbable. Sometimes real lives defy statistics.

Statistically it was improbable, not impossible. When there is a 10% or 15% chance of something happening - it does happen to 10 or 15 out of 100 women.

amother

Maroon

Wed, Dec 05 2018, 5:03 pm

amother wrote:

I think that would be hard on the kid...

I hate this prejudice that us older mothers can’t properly parent our children.

amother

Seagreen

Wed, Dec 05 2018, 5:05 pm

amother wrote:

I hate this prejudice that us older mothers can’t properly parent our children.

I think you are reading a lot into a thread that isn't there.

signed an older mom.

thunderstorm

Wed, Dec 05 2018, 5:05 pm

amother wrote:

Marrying a child off is hard emotionally whether you are 36 or 66! Not sure why it would be any harder physically!

The marrying off is not the issue. When you are in your 50s and 60s and raising young children it's physically taxing much more so than for a younger person .

trixx

Wed, Dec 05 2018, 5:12 pm

No one's addressing the emotional aspect. A remarriage, with big kids (youngest being 10) - do you want to have a baby and start a new family with this man?

causemommysaid

Wed, Dec 05 2018, 5:19 pm

I can't get over this Rov.

What if you say yes you are willing to try. Would the guy be willing to marry you on the very slim chance you will get pregnant? Or does the Rov want you to report back with a doctor's note?

amother

Tan

Wed, Dec 05 2018, 5:26 pm

The Rav is saying that the woman he marries should be ABLE to have children.....the outcome is not in anyone's hands.

amother

Tan

Wed, Dec 05 2018, 5:32 pm

trixx wrote:

No one's addressing the emotional aspect. A remarriage, with big kids (youngest being 10) - do you want to have a baby and start a new family with this man?

I want to get re-married be"H and if he is the right man I like the chessedik idea of helping him have a child. I have quite a large & close-knit family B"H. My only condition would be that I could not work full-time if that were to happen. He would have to carry that burden. I currently work full-time & it's very challenging as it is. He does work and I think he could support us.

I was more worried about the medical aspect.

amother

Green

Wed, Dec 05 2018, 5:35 pm

amother wrote:

I heard the other day that at the age of 47, there is a 65 percent chance of the baby having down syndrome. Not sure if it's true though.

Untrue. It's 1/29 at that age.

nchr

Wed, Dec 05 2018, 5:37 pm

The answer to this question can really only come from inside of you. Some people would happily have children into their late 40s, while others could not fathom such a concept. Some people may be able to have children at that age but choose not too because of a spouse, finances, other children, etc. but it may be appropriate for your family. You have to decide what is most appropriate for you and your children, which means how a baby will impact all of you, how marriage would impact all of you, etc. Some of those impacts may be positive and some of them negative, but you only can decide what's the right choice based on all of the facts.

Wed, Dec 05 2018, 5:39 pm

Is there an expectation that you would do IF treatment if a baby didn't come naturally? This is a significant undertaking with medical risks of its own, in addition to any age-related pregnancy concerns. Best to get this sorted out ahead of time.

dancingqueen

Wed, Dec 05 2018, 5:44 pm

tf wrote:

I cannot even count how many frum women have babies at that age

Really? there are frum communities where it’s common to have a baby at age 47? Interesting.

Op, has he never been married? In 55 years he wasn’t motivated to get married and have kids so why joe?

amother

Seagreen

Wed, Dec 05 2018, 5:49 pm

dancingqueen wrote:

Really? there are frum communities where it’s common to have a baby at age 47? Interesting.

If so - please send me a sample of the water.

karat

Wed, Dec 05 2018, 6:12 pm

Another concern I would address if I were you would be the risk of the marriage not succeeding, being that second marriages are more complicated, and there is more at stake (your children).

At a younger age, you would have the leeway to push off having a baby for a certain period of time, until you are confident that the marriage is stable. At your age, you will likely be pressured to begin trying immediately.

Raisin

Wed, Dec 05 2018, 6:20 pm

I possibly would in those circumstances. But as others mentioned, very low chance (but not impossible especially since you already have kids) of it happening naturally. Or even via IVF or other help with your own egg. So hopefully you live in a place where treatment is covered, or you have a lot of money to cover this.